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It can be difficult putting yourself out there to tell a girl you like her. Especially if you're still in school, you may be worried that people will talk if you tell her how you feel. In these kinds of situations, it may be best to tell her without quite saying, "I like you." You could do so by hinting at your feelings, arranging bonding opportunities, or sending signals through a third party, like a trusted friend.
Things You Should Know
Spend time together to let a girl know that you’re interested in her, and perform small, thoughtful gestures to make her feel special. Dating coach Connell Barrett says to be respectful and “invite [her] in the same way you would invite a friend to grab a beer or watch a movie."
Steps
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Mention you're single and looking to date. Try to be casual when you say this, as being direct might be interpreted as too strong; however, it's possible that the girl you're interested in hasn't realized that you're interested in dating. You might say something like: [1] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- "Oh man, I've been single way too long. I have the worst luck in romance. How about you?"
- "I've been trying to find a date for the dance next week and I'm having the worst luck. I don't want to go alone."
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Draw comparisons between the girl you like and your ideal. It's very common to start talking about your ideal partner, even with girls you are interested in. If you get this opportunity, try to vaguely describe the girl you like as your "ideal" to hint to her you're interested. You might say something along the lines of:
- "My last date and I had nothing in common. I want a girl who likes books, electronic music, and video games. She's got to be out there!"
- "I just want a girl who is laid back, likes to read, play board games, and poi. Is that too much to ask for? I don't think so!"
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Point out the romantic strengths of your friendship. In some cases, the girl you like may have only thought about you as a friend and not a romantic partner. To get her thinking about you as a potential romantic partner, point out the parts of a good romantic relationship that you see in your friendship already. For example, you might say to her:
- "We always have so much fun together. I laugh more with you than anyone else, and we never run out of things to talk about."
- "I can't find a single girl to date who shares the same interests that we do. You and I have such a strong relationship. I just want a girlfriend that I can share that with, you know?"
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Use body language. Most people get caught up in worrying what to say to show someone how they feel and overlook the very important signals we send with our bodies. This is an effective way to literally tell a girl you like her without speaking a word! [2] X Research source
- Make eye contact . Holding a person's gaze can be really intense, and in most normal social encounters, people rarely make eye contact for longer than one second. Send her a clear signal that you are interested by catching her gaze and holding it for a little longer than one second. Don't overdo it with the eye contact, though, as this can come off as hostile or make the other person uncomfortable.
- Turn your entire body (even your feet) toward the girl when you are talking, not just your head, to show your interest.
- Try "echoing" her body posture. If the girl leans in, try leaning in, too. If she takes a sip of her drink, do the same. Don't copy her immediately after each action — that will start to look weird. Let a few seconds pass before you echo her movements. This not only sends the signal that you like her — it can actually predispose her to like you more, too.
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Show her how you feel with small gestures. Try doing something that is a little special or out of the ordinary, but not totally obvious. Something like opening her car door, offering to help out with homework/rides/projects at home, bringing back a small gift from a vacation, bringing her favorite candy to lunch for her, etc. This works best if you know her tastes and interests somewhat, as this can allow you to do something meaningful that you know she will appreciate.
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Prioritize her. By giving the girl you like priority over others, you'll not only make her feel special, but you'll also show her you're more interested in her than others. You should be careful when doing this, however. In some cases, your attention may be taken advantage of, or you could hurt the feelings of others by making them feel unimportant. [3] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- You don't have to ignore others to give her priority. Even giving her your full attention when she's speaking can make her feel special.
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Spend time together alone. When other people are part of the mix, it can distract you and the girl you like from paying full attention to each other. By spending time alone and doing fun activities, you can show her that you're good dating material. Some alone together activities you might consider include:
- Going out to get coffee together. The relaxed, cozy atmosphere of most coffee shops can be a great way of calming nerves while spending time together.
- Watching a movie together. You might go to a theatre or watch one at home, but in either case, you'll both be able to enjoy sharing this experience together.
- Doing light hiking together. This way you'll be able to enjoy the beauty of nature while getting to know the girl you like.
- Reader Poll: We asked 168 wikiHow readers how they build a deeper connection with someone, and 63% of them agreed that the best way to strengthen their bond is by spending quality time together face-to-face. [Take Poll]
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Do physical activities together. You don't have to take daily runs, although exercising together can help you and the girl you like grow closer. Something as simple as throwing a frisbee around a park can help you and the girl you like make this physical connection. Other options you might try include:
- Playing her favorite sport, like volleyball, soccer, or baseball. You might do this with just the two of you, or invite friends to join.
- Team up together to play a two-person game, like the bean bag toss game which is sometimes also called the cornhole game .
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Invite her to go with you to couples' events. Some events are generally looked at as being things that couples do together, like watching fireworks or going out to eat. To make this seem less like a date while still indicating you like her, you might invite her by saying: [4] X Research source
- "I heard this new great restaurant opened up downtown. It looks delicious and I was planning on going there but I didn't want to go alone. Would you like to come with me?"
- "It's been forever since I watched the Independence Day fireworks. I have a really great spot to see the view. Would you like to come with me?"
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Learn a new skill together. Learning a new skill with the girl you like will give you a shared experience through which your relationship can grow. Beyond that, after you learn, you'll both have a sense of accomplishment together which will only improve your bond. Some skills you might consider: [5] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Taking a painting class together after school, at a community center, or at a community college. Even if you're no Picasso by the end of your class, you'll both have enjoyed time together learning something new.
- Learning the basics of baking or cooking. Many cooking classes are available after school, or you could learn recipes alone with her at your home.
- Taking a dance class together. Physical contact releases a hormone that encourages trust and closeness, so learning to dance with her could spark romance. [6] X Research source
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Rely on trusted individuals to gather and transmit information. This is the trickiest part of signaling the girl you like with a third party. Even your close friends may have different ideas of what is "helpful," and in some cases they may say too much when trying to help you. If you plan on trusting someone else to help play matchmaker between you and the girl you like, it's best to be honest and clear with your helper. You might tell that person:
- "There's this girl I really like, but I'm super shy telling her how I feel, and I need some help. I was wondering if you could ask her if she's interested in anyone or if she is seeing someone?"
- "Please don't tell anyone about this, but I really like this girl. I'm having the hardest time telling her how I feel. Could you help me figure out if she likes me?"
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Have a trusted individual talk you up around her. The more often she hears good things about you, the more likely she is to associate you with those positive traits. You might have a close friend that you trust bring up your talents, skills, and accomplishments around her.
- You should be careful when selecting the person who will brag about you to her. Some people may go over the top, which could be a more obvious signal that you like her than you want.
- Choose a few of your best characteristics and instruct your friend to talk about them. For example, you might ask your friend, "Could you mention the soccer game that I won for our team last night to the girl I like?"
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Get the seal of approval from her friends. If her friends like you, it's much more likely that she'll like you as well. Additionally, if her friends like you, they'll say good things about you to her when you're not around. In some cases, girls may be worried that you won't fit in well with her life or friend group.
- Gain her friends' approval by helping out. You could offer help on homework in a subject you know well, if you're handy you could offer to fix something you notice is broken, you could treat her friends to a snack, and so on.
- In some cases, this might cause jealousy between the girl you like and her friends. This might make her think of you in a more romantic light, but it might also backfire and cause her to get angry at you.
- To prevent jealousy, whenever you do something nice for her friends, you might also say something like, "Of course I'll help you out. You're one of Sarah's best friends, and she's the best. Any friend of hers is a friend of mine."
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I drop hints to my crush?Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University.A genuine compliment here and there can go a long way in showing her that you're interested.
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Tips
- Be respectful of her personal limits. Some girls may be more comfortable with physical contact and little touches, others may not.Thanks
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Warnings
- Don't try to be someone you're not. You should never sacrifice who you are for the sake of a date.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ http://www.talentedladiesclub.com/all-help/important-spend-quality-family-time-together/
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/about-oxytocin/
About This Article
Article Summary
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With a few subtle and not-so-subtle hints, you can easily let a girl know you like her without actually saying it. Flirting is the easiest way to suggest that you like someone. Make eye contact with the girl, smile lots, and ask her questions about herself to show you're interested. You can also mention things you like about her to suggest that you like her as more than just a friend. Try casually slipping into conversation that you're single by saying something like, "I've been single way too long. How about you?" Once you’ve flirted with her a bit and you feel like there’s a spark between you, invite her to spend time alone together, like going for a coffee, dinner, or a movie. For more advice from our Relationship co-author, including how to get a friend to talk you up, read on!
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"Giving hints, as eventually she found out. Thanks so much, wikiHow."
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