This article was co-authored by John Keegan
and by wikiHow staff writer, Devin McSween
. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
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It’s happened to us all—you meet someone new, text back and forth constantly, and then out of nowhere you're greeted with radio silence. After weeks of no communication, it’s clear that you’re being ghosted and your date has no intention of telling you why. The best way to respond to a ghoster is to say nothing and move on. However, if you want closure or think your ghoster can explain their behavior, sending one last text could help. We’ve put together tons of different sample texts to suit any type of relationship you had with your ghoster, whether they were a casual Friendship or something more serious.
Things You Should Know
- Send a humorous or sassy text if your relationship wasn’t too serious.
- Communicate your hurt if your relationship was developing to get closure and move on.
- Keep the door open for an explanation or a second chance if you’re not too hurt.
Steps
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Tell your ghoster you’re done with a joke. If you haven’t been talking to this person for very long, a joke or pun about being ghosted is a lighthearted way to communicate that you’re over the relationship. Keep your text short, sweet, and free from anger. [1] X Research source
- “Currently exercising my phone to get rid of the ghosts…see ya!”
- “If you wanted to scare me away, all you had to say was ‘Boo!’”
- “Your ghost impersonation is so great! It spooked me so bad that I’m ending this!”
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Acknowledge your ghoster’s behavior with a funny comparison. Stay carefree and non-confrontational when you call out your ghoster’s behavior. Your ghoster might find your text funny enough to message you back, so this is a great way to tell them there’s no chance of reviving the relationship. [2] X Research source
- “BRB calling the Ghostbusters to get you out of my contact list.”
- “Wow, I somehow summoned a ghost even though I didn’t say Beetlejuice 3 times!”
- “Just so you know, I’m not like that kid from The Sixth Sense. I don’t see dead people.”
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Hit your ghoster back with some sarcasm. Send a humorous text to keep the situation light while making it clear that you deserve better. This is a great way to respond if you’re not too upset over the ghosting, but want to let your ghoster know you're disappointed in their behavior. [3] X Research source
- “Nothing says ‘I like you a lot’ like being ghosted.”
- “Your constant texts all day are too much! You’ve got to give me some space.”
- “You’re so right, ghosting is the best way to get to know each other!”
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Ask your ghoster if something came up. While your ghoster had ample time to contact you about not being interested anymore, it’s always possible that something prevented them from doing so. A sassy text makes it clear that you don’t deserve being ghosted, but that you’re open to an explanation. [4] X Research source
- “Did your phone die? If you needed a charger, all you had to do was ask.”
- “I know you said BRB but it’s been a couple weeks…care to explain what came up?”
- “It’s been 3 weeks so I’m going to assume you lost your phone.”
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Fire back with a petty response. Stooping to your ghoster’s level isn’t the best course of action, but sometimes giving in to pettiness is the only way to give yourself closure. In fact, reciprocating the pain you felt by sending a petty response serves as a distraction to your hurt and can provide much needed comedic relief. [5] X Research source It’s unlikely that your ghoster will respond, so there isn’t anything for you to lose.
- “I didn’t realize we were playing the ‘who can last longer without texting’ game. I guess you won, but too bad, you didn’t win anything!”
- “I’m so glad you showed me who you are! Delete my number.”
- “Funny how you can’t text me back but can still post on Instagram.”
- Don’t start an argument with your text. If you feel like your text is more angry than funny, wait a few days before sending it to make sure your head is in the right space and to keep you from sending something you might regret. [6] X Research source
“Since you’re clearly not interested, I’m going to help you out by blocking you.”
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Express your anger and hurt with a fiery text. You don’t need to give your ghoster a reaction, but sometimes giving them a piece of your mind will help you feel better. Do block your ghoster after sending a text like this so you aren’t tempted to escalate the situation. [7] X Research source
- “I can’t remember why I was ever interested in you. Blocked.”
- “I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt but actually you don’t deserve it. Lose my number.”
- “I can’t believe you wasted my time like this. Don’t bother contacting me again.”
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Check-in to see if your ghoster is okay. A concerned text like this is a great way to acknowledge the fact that you’re being ghosted without directly bringing it up. Don’t expect a text back, but the ghoster may feel bad and explain what happened . [8] X Research source
- “Hey! Just checking in that everything’s all right with you.”
- “It’s been a minute since we’ve talked and I’m getting a little worried. Is everything okay?”
- “I was just wondering how you were doing!”
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Bring awareness to your ghoster’s pattern of behavior. Send a firm text asking if your ghoster has a tendency to end their relationships by ghosting. While you don’t owe your ghoster anything, a text like this can help your ghoster see that they’re wrong and hopefully correct their behavior. Give yourself closure that is just how the ghoster operates and it has nothing to do with you. [9] X Research source
- “Just curious if you always ghost when you know you’re not interested? If so, that’s not cool.”
- “So do you always ghost people?”
- “I hope this isn’t a regular thing for you, it’s not fun to be ghosted.”
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Call out your ghoster’s bad behavior. It only takes a minute to send a text about not being interested, but your ghoster cut off communication instead. Don’t blame yourself for being ghosted. Let your ghoster know that you expected to be treated with common decency. [10] X Research source
- “Leaving me hanging isn’t cool. Just be straight with me if you can’t be in a relationship right now.”
- “We’re not in elementary school anymore. Just tell me if you’re not interested.”
- “We are too old for this. Just tell me how you feel.”
“I hope you rethink how you’ve behaved so that no one else has to go through this.”
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Warn your ghoster against ghosting in the future. Ghosting shows an inability to communicate and understand another person’s feelings, two components that are important to a healthy relationship. [11] X Research source Show them that their behavior is wrong, because if your ghoster keeps ghosting, their next relationship might be left hurting like yours. [12] X Research source
- “I really hope you learn your lesson and are honest with your feelings in the future.”
- “Don’t do this to the next person.”
- “Next time, don’t ghost. I don’t want anyone else to feel like I do.”
“It doesn’t feel great to be ghosted. I wish you could’ve just told me how you feel.”
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Be honest about your hurt feelings. It’s especially painful to be ghosted after you’ve invested time with someone and your previous communication was great. Convey your hurt to your ghoster without any anger or hostility and let them go after sending your text. [13] X Research source
- “It hurts to be treated like this with no explanation. Please just be honest with me about your feelings.”
- “I’m shocked that you stopped talking to me. I didn’t expect this from you.”
- “It’s really surprising to be treated badly like this. I thought you were different.”
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Give yourself closure by ending the relationship on your terms. Take your power back from the situation and reject your ghoster. Be careful of trying to pursue a conversation further, as this can make it harder to move on. [14] X Research source
- “It’s been too long since I’ve heard from you, so I don't see this going anywhere. Good luck with everything.”
- “I don’t see this working out. I need more communication than this and I deserve better.”
- “I had fun with you, but we want different things so I’m moving on. Best of luck to you.”
“I don’t know why you stopped texting me. If you want tell me why, I’ll be here.”
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Ask your ghoster why they stopped texting you. Even though it doesn’t feel like it, being ghosted has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with the ghoster’s inability to communicate. However, you can send one last text asking them why they stopped talking to you to help you feel better. Don’t wait for a text back and instead take time to grieve the relationship and take care of yourself. [15] X Research source
- “I don’t know if I should wait for you to explain what’s going on, or block you.”
- “I’m surprised you stopped texting me because I thought things were going well. If there was anything that happened, I’d like to know.”
- “I’m sad that you stopped texting me. Did something happen?”
- "I feel like we had enough of a connection that at least warrants the conversation about why this isn't working out from your perspective. Care to tell me?"
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Reel your ghoster back in by bringing up something from the past. If you’re not too angry about being ghosted and want to stay in contact with your ghoster, send a text that lets them know that you’re thinking of them. This makes it clear that it’s been too long since you’ve talked, but that you’re okay with moving past it. [16] X Research source
- “I know how much you love dogs, so I had to share this TikTok with you.”
- “Just thinking about that time we got ice cream and you dropped your cone as soon as we got outside. That was too funny.”
- “I was at the bookstore and saw this book I thought you’d like.”
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Communicate that you’re keeping the door open. Because ghosting is often a sign that your ghoster is uninterested, doesn’t respect your feelings, and has difficulty communicating, experts recommend cutting your ghoster out of your life. However, if you feel that your relationship deserves a second chance or there’s a good explanation for the ghoster’s behavior, send a text that you want to meet up. If they continue to ghost, don’t reach out again. [17] X Research source
- “I’m going out for drinks with friends tomorrow if you want to join. Just let me know!”
- “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you and still want to see where this could go. If you want to hang out again, just let me know.”
- “There’s this new pizza place that I’ve been wanting to try. I’m going tomorrow if you want to join.”
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you make a guy who ghosted you regret it?John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.The best revenge is a life well lived. Instead of falling into a negative pattern where you're trying to get somebody back, focus on going out and heading to events where you can meet more and more new people!Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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Video
Tips
- If you guys went on one date and didn't talk again, who cares? They’re just basically saying, “I’m not interested” and they didn’t even have the guts to say it to your face, so what? Sometimes, the best answer is to just leave it alone.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.forgettingfairytales.com/how-to-respond-to-ghosting/
- ↑ https://www.emlovz.com/what-to-text-her-after-being-ghosted-examples/
- ↑ https://thinkaloud.net/how-to-respond-to-a-guy-that-ghosted-you/
- ↑ https://thinkaloud.net/how-to-respond-to-a-guy-that-ghosted-you/
- ↑ https://www.mic.com/life/why-being-petty-feels-so-good-30588796
- ↑ https://www.thisbatteredsuitcase.com/on-ghosting-and-what-to-do-if-it-happens-to-you/
- ↑ https://thinkaloud.net/how-to-respond-to-a-guy-that-ghosted-you/
- ↑ https://www.purewow.com/wellness/what-to-text-after-being-ghosted
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/how-to-respond-to-a-guy-that-ghosted-you/
- ↑ https://www.bonobology.com/how-to-respond-to-ghosting-without-losing-your-sanity/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202001/were-you-ghosted-learn-why-and-how-respond-when-it-happens
- ↑ https://thinkaloud.net/how-to-respond-to-a-guy-that-ghosted-you/
- ↑ https://www.purewow.com/wellness/what-to-text-after-being-ghosted
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202001/were-you-ghosted-learn-why-and-how-respond-when-it-happens
- ↑ https://www.bonobology.com/how-to-respond-to-ghosting-without-losing-your-sanity/
- ↑ https://www.purewow.com/wellness/what-to-text-after-being-ghosted
- ↑ https://www.purewow.com/wellness/what-to-text-after-being-ghosted