If some time has passed and you keep wondering about what could have been, you may be thinking about trying to get back with your ex. The good news is that this is super common, and there are a ton of reasons that this may work. The bad news is that this isn’t always the best idea depending on how things ended between you two. Regardless, you’re in the right place to make an informed decision here! As a note, if you’re worried about whether this can lead to anything good or not, you should know that the data has your back; a relationship is statistically more likely to work out if you break up, spend some time apart, and then get back together! [1] X Research source
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionShould I go on a date with my ex?Allen Wagner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Los Angeles, California. After working as a therapist at the Children’s Bureau and Penny Lane Centers, he opened his own practice in 2008. Allen works with both individuals and couples and has 20 years of experience as a therapist. Allen specializes in helping clients improve their relationships, assisting people in managing life transitions, improving communication in all environments, and identifying realistic and positive goals. Alongside his wife Talia Wagner, he authored the book "Married Roommates". He received an MA in Psychology from Pepperdine University and a BA in Film and Creative Writing from the University of Arizona.Take some time to think things through first. Chances are, there was at least one core reason why you broke up to begin with. Make sure that your ex has definitely changed and grown, so you aren't walking into a repeat of your past relationship.
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QuestionWhy do I keep wanting to go back to him?Allen Wagner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Los Angeles, California. After working as a therapist at the Children’s Bureau and Penny Lane Centers, he opened his own practice in 2008. Allen works with both individuals and couples and has 20 years of experience as a therapist. Allen specializes in helping clients improve their relationships, assisting people in managing life transitions, improving communication in all environments, and identifying realistic and positive goals. Alongside his wife Talia Wagner, he authored the book "Married Roommates". He received an MA in Psychology from Pepperdine University and a BA in Film and Creative Writing from the University of Arizona.Think of it like this—people always seem to want to go back to Vegas, even if they end of up the red. In the end, they'll always focus on the good times they had, not the bad. The same logic applies to old relationships.
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References
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/old-flames-reunited-make-most-lasting-marriages-711097.html
- ↑ Allen Wagner, MFT, MA. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 24 September 2021.
- ↑ https://www.inquirer.com/philly/blogs/sexwithtimaree/Rekindling-an-old-flame-When-is-it-OK-to-date-your-ex.html
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407520962849
- ↑ Allen Wagner, MFT, MA. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 24 September 2021.
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/old-flames-reunited-make-most-lasting-marriages-711097.html
- ↑ https://www.inquirer.com/philly/blogs/sexwithtimaree/Rekindling-an-old-flame-When-is-it-OK-to-date-your-ex.html
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407520962849
- ↑ Allen Wagner, MFT, MA. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 24 September 2021.
- ↑ https://medium.com/thrive-global/how-you-can-get-your-ex-back-2940104080b0
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/the-best-ways-to-get-her-back.html
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/04/why-exes-are-reconnecting-coronavirus-quarantine/610081/
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/04/why-exes-are-reconnecting-coronavirus-quarantine/610081/
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/14-things-i-learned-from-getting-back-together-with-an-ex
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/04/why-exes-are-reconnecting-coronavirus-quarantine/610081/
- ↑ Allen Wagner, MFT, MA. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 24 September 2021.
- ↑ https://www.inquirer.com/philly/blogs/sexwithtimaree/Rekindling-an-old-flame-When-is-it-OK-to-date-your-ex.html