How to Get a Shy Guy to Make a Move

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If you’re interested in a new guy but he’s really shy, getting him to make the first move can be tough. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can make him feel comfortable enough to lean in and plant one on you. Keep reading to learn how you can send the signal that you’re ready to kiss and (hopefully) land the guy of your dreams.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.

1

Send him a few flirty text messages.

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    Send him a message about how you can’t stop thinking about him or that you wish you could kiss him right now. It will help him be more confident around you in person, and he might just gather the courage to make a move on you. [1]
    • Say something like, “Wish you were here right now,” “Can’t stop thinking about you,” “I wish I could kiss you right now.”
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2

Make a lot of eye contact with him.

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    When you two talk, look into his eyes as you chat. If you’re walking around, keep your head turned toward his as much as you can. The more eye contact you can make, the more he’ll understand that you’re interested. [2]
    • You can also make eye contact with him from across the room.
3

Look away, then glance back at him.

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    If you two are talking, glance away really quickly, then look back at him. When you do, be sure to make eye contact. [3]
    • To make this even more flirty, bite your lower lip when you look back at him.
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4

Smile at him.

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    Plus, it draws attention to your lips! You don’t have to force it, but try to make sure he knows you enjoy his company. You can also do this by laughing at his jokes. [4]
    • Try putting on lip balm or Chapstick to draw even more attention to your mouth area.
5

Turn your body toward his.

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    If you two are sitting down, angle your body so that your torso and your legs face him. If you two are standing up, try to turn inwards slightly so you’re facing him a little more. It’s not a huge gesture, but he’ll pick up on it subconsciously. [5]
    • If you’re walking around, this might be a little harder. Just try to glance at him a lot, and stand close to him if you can.
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6

Touch his hand or his arm.

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    If you’re laughing at a joke, touch him on the upper arm. If he just told you a sweet story, grab his hand briefly. The more you can touch him, the better he’ll feel about making a move on you. [6]
    • You could also try giving him a hug or rubbing his back.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Don't be afraid to make the first move. A playful touch on the arm or a gentle brush of hands can create a spark. Be respectful and always read your date's body language.


7

Hold his hand.

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    Place your hand near his, then gently reach out and grab it. Try to hold hands as much as possible during your time together so he understands that he should make a move. [7]
    • If you aren’t sure how to hold his hand, suggest having an arm wrestle or a thumb war. It’s a cute, flirty way to initiate physical contact.
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8

Flirt with him.

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    With shy guys, you might have to lay it on a little thick, so don’t be afraid to go overboard. Give him a few compliments and tell him how much you like hanging out with him. [8]
    • Say something like, “You’re so cute. Your hair looks amazing today.”
    • Or, “I love hanging out with you, you always know how to make me laugh.”
9

Try not to talk about how shy he is.

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    Since he's shy, just give him a little time to get comfortable. He’ll probably feel more secure as you two get to know each other better. Speak calmly, take lots of pauses, and don’t ask him a ton of questions—that can make him feel like he’s being attacked. [9]
    • The same thing goes if you think he’s inexperienced. Bringing attention to it will most likely make him feel worse, and he’ll probably get more nervous about making a move. [10]
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10

Pause when saying goodbye.

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    If you two are parting ways, tell him goodbye, but don’t walk away just yet. Keep making eye contact with him, and reach out for his hands if you can. [11]
    • If he drove you back to your place, don’t get out of the car just yet.
11

Make the first move yourself.

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    Some guys are so shy that they won’t make the first move, even if you send signals loud and clear. If you’re having a good time and you’ve both been flirty all night, feel free to make the first move yourself. [12]
    • Shy guys usually appreciate having someone make the first move. It takes the pressure off them, and they might feel more confident when they see you again.
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Avoid Awkward Kisses with this Expert Series

Are you worried about having a bad kiss? These expert articles will build your confidence and help you avoid awkward situations.
1
Refuse a Kiss
2
Kiss a Shy Boyfriend
3
Move in Effectively for a Kiss
4
Kiss on a Dare
5
Avoid a Kiss
6
How to Avoid an Awkward First Kiss

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      Tips

      • Shy guys aren’t great at picking up hints. Don’t be afraid to go a little overboard with flirting, eye contact, and physical touch.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://parade.com/1085958/marynliles/flirty-texts-for-him/
      2. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      3. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2017/08/understanding-men-how-to-get-a-guy-to-chase-you
      4. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a8332/kiss-me-jan07/
      5. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2017/08/understanding-men-how-to-get-a-guy-to-chase-you
      6. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      7. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      8. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a8332/kiss-me-jan07/
      9. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      1. ↑ https://www.succeedsocially.com/shyguys
      2. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a8332/kiss-me-jan07/
      3. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.

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