Easiest Ways to Make an 11-Year-Old Girl Like You

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Find out how to get her attention and bond with her

Co-authored by Kemar & DeAnne Johnson

Last Updated: August 29, 2025 Approved

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Caring for Your Appearance

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Finding Out Her Interests

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Being Yourself

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Bonding With Her

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Video

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Q&A

Having a crush on a girl in middle school (or even elementary school) can be a lot to handle. Don’t stress, because we’re here to help—read on to learn what steps to take to get an 11-year-old girl to like you. They include paying attention to your appearance , discovering more about her interests , feeling confident about who you are, and getting to know her better . We’ve also spoken to matchmakers and dating coaches for advice on how to be the best version of yourself.

Best Ways to Get an 11-Year-Old Girl to Like You

According to relationship coach Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW, it's important to always be yourself. Here are some other ways to show the 11-year-old girl your best self:

Look after your appearance with clean clothes, good hygiene, and a neat haircut.
Observe her at school (in a non-intrusive way) to find out more about her.
Ask about her interests and hobbies so her friends let her know you’re interested.
Talk to her by complimenting her or showing interest in things she likes to do.
Remember to always be yourself around the girl you like.
Express your feelings to her honestly (and accept whatever answer she gives).

Section 1 of 4:

Taking Care of Your Appearance

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1
Wear tidy clothes. Girls are more likely to pay attention to you if your clothes look neat and clean. It’s good to get into the practice of taking care of yourself at an early age so you feel and look more attractive to others . Avoid wearing clothes that you recently wore, and be sure that nothing looks dirty. Make it a point to wear your “nice” clothes when you know you will see this girl. ^{[1]
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- Have your parents or guardians buy you t-shirts with a collar and pants that aren’t denim.
Meet the wikiHow Experts

Michelle Jacoby is a matchmaker and dating coach with over 12 years of experience helping singles find healthy, lasting relationships.

Eddy Baller is a dating coach and the owner of a dating consulting and coaching service

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW , is a relationship coach who specializes in fostering healthy communication between couples.

Maria Avgitidis is a matchmaker & dating expert who combines traditional and modern relationship techniques.

Kate Dreyfus is a dating coach with over 10 years of experience helping her clients enter exclusive, romantic relationships.
2
Practice good hygiene . Clip your nails, wash your hair, and brush your teeth on a daily basis. Never leave the house without doing these things. Don’t forget to keep breath mints around, so you always have fresh breath.
- Wash your hands for at least 20 seconds before eating and after using the toilet.
- Bathe and shower daily, especially before school.
- Brush your teeth twice a day and floss at least once.
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3
Wear an effective deodorant. Head to the hygiene section of your local grocery or drug store and choose a deodorant and anti-perspirant; deodorants help prevent odor, but anti-perspirants also prevent wetness. ^{[2]
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- If you use a spray-on deodorant, only spray underneath each arm once.
- If possible, choose an aluminum-free, paraben-free deodorant that is less harsh on younger skin.
4
Get a haircut that complements you. Having the right haircut can help you build confidence in your appearance. Look through magazines and check out what celebrity haircuts; pick a few haircuts that you like . Ask your mom or your sister’s opinion on what type of hairstyle you should get. ^{[3]
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- Getting a second opinion can help your chances of picking out the best haircut that will suit your attributes.
- Bring in a photo of a style you want.

Section 2 of 4:

How to Discover Her Interests

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1
Observe her at school. Once you decide that you “like” someone, pay more attention to her (without staring or coming off as weird). Take mental notes of things she says in the classroom or see who her friend group is. Notice if there are any other boys she currently spends time with.
- If she catches you looking at her, don't glance away. Smile your best smile, and hopefully, she will smile back.
- Avoid obsessing over her. Don’t stare at her for too long or follow her around. It will only make her weary of you.
2
Ask her friends about her. Find out from her friends what she enjoys doing most. A good way to get her to notice you is to begin asking questions about her; plus, her friends will definitely tell her that you are asking about her. Regardless of how she feels about you, this is likely to flatter her. You could potentially ask them something like:
- ”What does Samantha like to do on the weekends?”
- ”Do you know if Jasmine has a favorite book?”
- ”Does Jamie have a boyfriend?”
- Dating coach Kate Dreyfus believes that "when you show a girl that you are genuinely interested in what they love and why they love it (and want to learn more about it), they’ll feel like you care about them." ^{[4]
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  Expert Source
  
  Kate Dreyfus
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview}
3
Be confident when finding out more about her. It’s hard putting yourself out there, even when learning more about the girl you like. It’s also possible to combat feeling embarrassed by staying positive. ^{[5]
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- Ignore others who might tease you for showing interest in a girl you like. The courage you show is more important than their insecurity.
- Don’t talk down about her or ignore her if others confront you about your feelings. Continue to say nice things about her, and she’ll appreciate you.
- Acting and feeling more confident doesn’t mean showing off too much. It’s best to stay authentic or approachable.
- Remember, the point is for the girl to like you and not for a group of kids to like you.

Section 3 of 4:

Learning to Be Yourself

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Embrace whatever age you’re at. If you’re 11, you have plenty of time to reach puberty—there’s no need to rush things. Stop feeling self-conscious if you don’t have facial hair or if your voice hasn’t dropped yet. All this will come in time. Honesty is the best way to earn somebody’s respect.
If you learn that she is only interested in horseback riding, don’t drop all your passions to afford a saddle. Let her determine if your interests are compatible. If you are trying out different activities and are unsure what you wish to pursue, keep trying things out. Anything new and interesting you learn (or already love) will offer her even more reasons to get to know you.
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Let your friends support you when trying to get her attention. Friend groups are incredibly important during your tween and teenage years; they can help build you up and give you the confidence you need to make a move. Stay true to who you are and keep your friends in the know about anyone you have a crush on. ^{[6]
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- If they are good friends, they’ll help you figure out ways to get this girl to start to notice you.
- If you are in the wrong friend circle, they could ridicule you for your crush and start nasty rumors. Choose the right friends who respect and enjoy your company.
4
Get comfortable with who you are. It’s no use trying to get a girl to like you in middle school if you don’t already like yourself. Dating coach Eddy Baller believes that “to help build confidence, you might try making a list of all the things you like about yourself.” ^{[7]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} When you get a better sense of what makes you worth knowing, you’ll have much more confidence about being yourself with a girl you like.
- Dating coach Michelle Jacoby agrees that “when meeting people in person, the most important thing is to just be authentically yourself. You have to be super smooth or rehearsed all the time—just be yourself by smiling and making direct eye contact.” ^{[8]
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  Michelle Jacoby
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview}

Section 4 of 4:

How to Bond With Her

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1
Make an effort to talk to her. Next time you see her, start talking to her . Avoid opening with things like "I like you,” which isn’t always the best technique. Chat with her about a casual topic like school, sports, or teachers to try to get to know her better. Find out general information about her, without getting too personal. ^{[9]
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- When you meet her, bring a friend with you if you’re really nervous. It may make her feel more comfortable as well.
- If you’re unsure about what to say, be casual. For example, say “Hey Kristen,” when you pass her in the hall. It might not seem like a lot, but it is sure to catch her attention.
- Jacoby recommends “walking over and saying, ‘I noticed you, and I just wanted to come over and say hi.’”
- Try using positive body language to exude confidence . Dating coach Joshua Pompey suggests using “body language to communicate that there is romantic potential.” ^{[10]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Joshua Pompey
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview} To flirt with body language , try pointing your toes towards her and looking into her eyes while having a conversation.
2
Give her a lighthearted compliment. A good way to let her know you like her romantically is to compliment her every once in a while. You can start by complimenting her outfit when you think it looks nice, but don’t be afraid to say something nice about who she is as a person. You could say things like this: ^{[11]
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- “Angie, your dress is really pretty.”
- “Good job on that math problem! I was totally stumped.”
- “Your outfit complements your eyes.”
- Start small if giving her compliments makes you nervous. Baller agrees that, “giving your crush small compliments like 'I like your haircut' lets them know you're interested in them.” ^{[12]
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  Eddy Baller
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview}
A great way to develop a closer bond with the girl you like is to make her laugh. Use your natural humor with her—avoid memorizing other people’s jokes. Even if you’re unsure or nervous, try being a little silly in front of her. Start an inside joke between the two of you; inside jokes are a great way to bring people together. ^{[13]
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4
Attempt to be friends. Find a mutual interest and talk to her about it. Say you both enjoy drawing, ask to see one of her drawings, and tell her if you like it. If you both enjoy fantasy movies, strike up a conversation about a specific movie. One of the keys to bonding over a mutual interest is to bring up something specific. ^{[14]
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- To go from the first few conversations to being friends, matchmaker & dating expert Maria Avgitidis recommends “asking them what their plans are for the weekend or commenting on why you’re currently at the same social event.” ^{[15]
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  Maria Avgitidis
  Matchmaker & Dating Expert
  
  Expert Interview}
- While getting to know her, don’t ask too many personal questions unless she wants to talk about her private life.
5
Let her know you have feelings for her. When the time is right, after you’ve talked a few times and/or you’ve become friends, ask her if she likes you—she might start by blushing. If she does, then it may mean she likes you back. If she doesn't, the odds may not be great. Avoid s haring your feelings about her too early in a friendship, or you may come across as pushy.
- If she does blush or express interest, ask her out. Make sure you two are alone. Also, try to keep it low-key to avoid too many other people knowing about it.
- If she doesn't blush, you’ll have to accept being friends for the moment. She might ask why you asked that—don't try to play it off by saying "nothing." Be upfront and honest with her, and respectful for however she feels (or doesn’t feel).
- Don't force things if she doesn't like you back. Stay positive—there may very well be a girl who likes you who you haven't been paying attention to.

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How do I find out if a girl at school likes me?

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If she likes you, she might stare at you in class, make excuses to be around you, and put effort into looking good around you.

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I told a girl I liked her and she slapped my face. Help?

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That's the end of it. If she slaps you, back off, even if you're not sure why she did it.

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Expert Source

Kate Dreyfus
Dating Coach

[5]

[6]

[7]

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

[8]

Michelle Jacoby
Dating Coach

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[10]

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach

[11]

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[13]

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Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert

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Easiest Ways to Make an 11-Year-Old Girl Like You

Best Ways to Get an 11-Year-Old Girl to Like You

Steps

Taking Care of Your Appearance

How to Discover Her Interests

Learning to Be Yourself

How to Bond With Her

Community Q&A

Video

Tips

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