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You’ve talked with this guy a few times, and you feel like sparks are beginning to fly. How do you keep the conversation going without seeming desperate? Don’t panic. We have a lot of tips and suggestions that may help breathe some new life into your day-to-day conversations.

1

Ask open-ended questions.

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  1. Open-ended questions require a longer answer than just “yes” or “no.” Try to tweak your questions so he’s more motivated to write out something in-depth, which will get the conversation going. Pretend to ask yourself the question first—if you can answer the question within a word or 2, it probably won’t keep your conversation going for very long. [1]
    • For instance, “What are your plans for the weekend?” is a better question than “Do you have anything exciting planned over the weekend?”
    • If you’re feeling adventurous, ask a fun question, like “What’s the weirdest corner of the internet you’ve stumbled across?” or “If you had a budget of 1 million dollars for a party, how would you spend it?”
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2

Offer follow-up questions.

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  1. These questions don’t have to be over-the-top. A simple “Then what?” or “How so?” can inspire him to keep talking. You can even turn your follow-up question into a compliment, saying something like “That’s so cool! Could you tell me more?” or “Please go on! This is so interesting.” [2]
    • If you’re worried about sounding too aggressive, hedge your question with a friendly statement, like “If you don’t mind me asking” or “If you’re comfortable.”
    • A great way to follow up is repeating his last statement like a question. If he said, “I’m heading upstate for the weekend,” you might say, “So, you’re going away for the weekend?” This might inspire him to keep talking about himself.
    • Follow-up questions are a great way to stay engaged without turning the chat into an interrogation.
3

Talk about your favorite topics.

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  1. Look for ways to connect your conversation to something you’re really knowledgeable or familiar with. If the conversation starts to falter, lean on some of these topics for support. [3]
    • You might say, “Speaking of video games, I found a really cool site that lets you sign up for alerts on your favorite games” or “That reminds of something funny I overheard in class today.”
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Better yet, offer a compliment! Comments like these show genuine interest and can help encourage an easy interaction.

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4

Chat about his interests.

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  1. Depending on his answer, you might be able to compare notes on some of your favorite titles or jot down some recommendations for yourself. It can be a shot in the dark, but this conversation topic might lead to a pretty interesting chat. [4]
    • This topic can sound pretty abrupt, and may not be the best way to start a conversation. However, it’s a great way to keep your chat going!
    • You might ask, “Read any good books lately?” or “If you were stuck on a desert island, what 3 movies would you bring with you and why?”
9

Transition smoothly between topics.

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  1. If the guy asks you a question, guide the conversation in a different direction with your answer. [9] If he’s not feeling super chatty, build off a word or detail from the last thing he said. Word association is a simple, clever way to switch topics without seeming too random. [10]
    • If he asks “how are you,” you could talk about your weekend or a fun hobby that you enjoy.
    • If he mentions his car, you might say, “I love long car rides, but for me, nothing can beat an early morning hike. Do you like any outdoor activities?”
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Questions to Keep the Conversation Flowing

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I text better?
    Joshua Pompey
    Relationship Expert
    Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
    Relationship Expert
    Expert Answer
    Reduce romantic tension by cutting back on any verbal or non-verbal flirting you might be doing. As you get more comfortable, you can start flirting with them.
  • Question
    How do I make texting interesting?
    Joshua Pompey
    Relationship Expert
    Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
    Relationship Expert
    Expert Answer
    Avoid asking everyday questions, such as "What's up?" or "How are you?" since they don't keep the conversation going.
  • Question
    What if you’ve been dating for a couple of days and you guys have talked for hours on end? What do I do if I want to keep talking to him? What are other things I can ask him if I’m in middle school?
    Janice Tieperman
    Community Answer
    Think about some topics he’s interested in, or something that you both have in common. Piquing his interest is a great way to get a conversation going, and can help you learn even more about him in the process.
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      Tips

      • Remember—it’s not your responsibility to keep the chat going. Every interaction is a 2-way street, and you shouldn’t have to carry the entire conversation on your shoulders. [14]
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      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you’re texting or talking to a guy and you’re not sure how to keep the conversation going, try asking him questions. For instance, you could ask him about what he likes to do in his free time, or what he thinks of a band or a movie you like. Try to avoid asking yes or no questions. Instead, ask open-ended questions that will be more likely to get him talking. You can also tell him a little about yourself so he’ll feel more comfortable opening up to you. For tips on carrying on a text conversation, like keeping your messages short and meaningful, read on!

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      • Gideon Maiyo

        Jul 13, 2022

        "I will be able to be more lively with how we talk with my man."
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