How to Know if a Gay Friend Likes You (for Men)

Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: October 2, 2024

So, you have been hanging out with some friends and you notice a guy friend who seems to be flirting or showing signs of attraction. It's only natural to find out if he's into you!

Section 1 of 3:

Knowing if He's Attracted to Guys

Download Article

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/99\/Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/99\/Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-1.jpg\/aid6520515-v4-728px-Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\">\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. \n<\/p> \n<\/p><\/div>"}

Is he shy around other men? Does he flirt with you? Or most importantly, does he act shy around you? There are many methods and ways to get him to state that he's attracted to you--one of those ways is to simply observe his behavior and the way he acts towards you and other men.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b5\/Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b5\/Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-2.jpg\/aid6520515-v4-728px-Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\">\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. \n<\/p> \n<\/p><\/div>"}

2
Trying using fun games to figure out his sexual orientation. For example, you could play spin the bottle. If he has to kiss a girl, see how he reacts to it. If he has to kiss a guy, see how he reacts. Does he smile or frown? Is he excited or hesitant?
- If you're teens, try playing truth or dare. If you want to find out his sexuality, play truth or dare with a close group of friends so it doesn't seem awkward if he does come out. He may not be completely honest, so this method may not work. If you are nervous to ask him, see if one of your other friends can be brave enough to ask. Or, make it a Private Truth or Dare, where the person asked only has to tell the asker. That way there is no embarrassment between the group.
- Play Never Have I Ever and say something like: "I have never been attracted to another guy." And watch if he puts his finger down. If you do not know how to play this game, this is how. Everybody puts up 10 fingers, and they go in a circle saying things they have never done or had. If someone has done what the teller says, they put down a finger. If nobody has done it either, the teller puts down a finger. This is probably the method that will work the least, so be cautious.
Advertisement
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2a\/Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2a\/Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-3.jpg\/aid6520515-v4-728px-Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\">\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. \n<\/p> \n<\/p><\/div>"}

3
Talk to him. Talk to him about how he feels about girls, guys, and love in general. Observe what he says. For example, if he only talks about having a future girlfriend, he might be straight. If he talks about dating girls and guys in the past, he could be bisexual. If he talks about future/past partners in using they/them, he could be pansexual.
- Talk about love and romance to him. What love he would like to have when he is older. Staying on this road will get him to maybe come out to you, or it may just confirm that he is straight. He may lie, but if you are honest to each other, he will tell you the truth about his sexual orientation and how he feels.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d3\/Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d3\/Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-4.jpg\/aid6520515-v4-728px-Know-if-a-Gay-Friend-Likes-You-%28for-Men%29-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\">\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. \n<\/p> \n<\/p><\/div>"}

4
Simply ask if he's attracted to men. If you guys are good friends, he will understand. However, don't just straight up go up to him and say: "Are you gay?" Make it subtle. Start out talking about romance or partners. Guide the conversation to the topic of love. Soon enough, after enough time he may come out to you, or at least state that he's attracted to guys.
- As another idea, you could something like, "Are you into guys, girls, or..?" and wait for his response. Something like that won't hurt his feelings, but be sure to state your sexual orientation first, since he may get the wrong idea.

Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Am I Gay?

How do you know if you’re gay? There’s a whole spectrum of romantic and sexual orientation, and ultimately, you get to choose whatever label feels right. We’ve created this quiz to help you explore how you feel about your sexuality and start to find some answers within yourself.

1 of 16