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Open up to your partner with a DIY couples questionnaire
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No matter how long you’ve been dating your significant other, it’s likely there are still things you don’t know about each other. Having deep and insightful conversations is an excellent way to strengthen your relationship. Take turns asking each other these fun, engaging, and innovative questions to reveal more about yourselves as a couple.

The Best Questions to Ask Your Partner

  1. To get to know them: What do you like to do in your free time?
  2. About romance and intimacy: What’s your love language?
  3. About hopes and values: How do you define success?
  4. Fun and lighthearted: What’s your go-to karaoke song?
  5. Serious topics: What’s something you agree to disagree on?
Section 1 of 9:

Get to Know You Questions for Couples

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  1. Whether you’ve been dating for a week, month, or year, there’s always something to uncover about your boo! Talk about your favorite things, childhood, habits, likes, and dislikes. Here are some questions to get you started:
    • Would you rather listen to a podcast or read a book?
    • How do you cheer up when you’re having a bad day?
    • What was your favorite subject in school?
    • What’s your favorite weekend activity?
    • What’s your dream job?
    • What’s your favorite food?
    • What was the last book you read?
    • Who’s your favorite musician?
    • How would you describe your personal style?
    • What’s your worst habit?
    • Are you competitive?
    • What’s something you’re currently looking forward to?
    • What do you like to do in your free time?
    • What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?
    • Are you ambitious or easygoing?
    • Would you rather text or talk on the phone?
    • What’s your biggest pet peeve?
    • How would you describe your childhood?
    • What’s your favorite season?
    • Did you have any pets growing up?
    • Were you a shy or outgoing kid?
    • Which family member are you closest to?
    • What’s the most embarrassing nickname you’ve ever had?
    • What’s your biggest fear?
    • How do you express your emotions?
    • What’s your favorite book?
    • What are most people surprised to learn about you?
    • Who was your first celebrity crush? [1]
    • What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done? [2]
    • What’s your biggest creature comfort?
    • What brings you childlike joy or wonder?
    • Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
    • How would you describe your average work day?
    • When do you feel most fulfilled?
    • What do you look for in a friend?
    • What’s one movie you can watch over and over again?
    • How do you feel about tattoos?
    • What was your best Halloween costume?
    • Do you sing in the shower?
    • What does your perfect day look like?
    • Who’s your favorite person in your life?
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Section 2 of 9:

Questions for Couples About Romance & Intimacy

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  1. Inquire about relationships in general to learn about yours. If you’ve been dating for a while, it might be time to get into the nitty-gritty of each other’s pasts and presents. Ask about what you’re both craving romantically, and don’t be afraid to bring up exes!
    • What’s your love language?
    • How many times have you been in love?
    • What does your dream date night look like?
    • Would you say you’re flirtatious?
    • What’s your best pickup line?
    • What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
    • Would you consider a red flag in a relationship?
    • What was your first kiss like?
    • Can you name a couple whose relationship you admire?
    • Do you believe in soulmates?
    • Where do you like to be touched?
    • What’s a no-go for you in the bedroom?
    • What’s your biggest turn-on?
    • What’s your biggest turn-off?
    • Do you believe in love at first sight?
    • How do you like to receive support?
    • How do you define infidelity?
    • How do you feel about our relationship right now?
    • What are your dreams and goals for us as a couple?
    • What was your first impression of me?
    • What’s your definition of romance? [3]
    • Have you ever been cheated on?
    • What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?
    • What’s the biggest compliment you could receive? [4]
    • What’s your favorite memory of us?
    • What types of romantic gestures mean the most to you?
    • What’s your attachment style?
    • What makes you feel loved and supported?
    • Have you ever had your heart broken?
    • What makes me beautiful to you?
    • How would you define falling in love?
    • How do you like to express love?
    • What do you think about public proposals?
    • Do I show up in your dreams?
    • Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to teach me?
    • Are you satisfied in the bedroom?
    • Do you like getting spicy texts?
Section 3 of 9:

Questions for Couples About Hopes & Values

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  1. Ask your partner questions about what’s motivating them and what they’re looking forward to most. This is a great way to learn about their ambitions and share yours, too.
    • Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
    • What are your core values?
    • Do you believe in the golden rule?
    • Who was your role model growing up?
    • Would you rather have a job or a career?
    • What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten?
    • What is your idea of happiness?
    • What does “home” mean to you?
    • Would you rather be right or wrong?
    • Would you rather be rich or happy?
    • How would you describe your relationship with money?
    • Would you rather buy your dream house or travel the world?
    • How do you want to be remembered?
    • What’s a defining moment in your life?
    • What’s your biggest goal right now?
    • How do you define success?
    • What motivates you?
    • How do you plan to achieve your dreams?
    • What values do you appreciate in others?
    • What makes you feel most connected to others?
    • Would you rather be loved, respected, or admired? [5]
    • Are you an optimist or a pessimist?
    • What do you value most in life? [6]
    • What gives you a sense of purpose?
    • What’s one experience you believe everyone should have at least once? [7]
    • What makes you get up in the morning?
    • What are you most proud of?
    • Would you ever want to start your own business?
    • What is important to you most in a relationship?
    • What’s your favorite memory we’ve made together?
    • How do you handle change and uncertainty?
    • What qualities do you think are most important in a spouse?
    • How do you handle anger?
    • What’s your favorite part about being your age?
    • What do you hope to achieve in your career?
    • What does family mean to you?
    • What gives your life meaning?
    • What do you believe is the purpose of life?
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Section 4 of 9:

Fun Questions for Couples

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  1. Get a bit goofy and creative with your questions. Who says all your questions have to be rooted in serious topics? Think of wild scenarios or simply ask whatever comes to mind! These questions are sure to start fun and interesting conversations:
    • What movie or TV character are you most like?
    • If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
    • If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
    • If you could live in a movie, what movie would you live in?
    • What’s your favorite meal to cook?
    • Dogs or cats?
    • Do you believe in ghosts?
    • Would you rather live in a desert or forest?
    • What’s a no-skip album for you?
    • What’s your go-to karaoke song?
    • What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten?
    • If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
    • If you could choose, who would your fictional best friend be?
    • What’s your most controversial opinion?
    • What famous person would you want to meet?
    • What’s your earliest memory?
    • What skill would you like to master?
    • What’s your dream job?
    • If you could be any food, what would you be?
    • What’s your favorite type of weather?
    • What food could you eat every day?
    • What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today?
    • What was the first album you ever owned?
    • What’s on your bucket list?
    • Who is more likely to live through a zombie attack? [8]
    • What historical era would you want to live in?
    • Do you believe in aliens?
    • What’s the last dream you remember having?
    • If you could have an unlimited supply of anything, what would you choose?
    • If you had three wishes, what would they be?
    • What scent do you find the most comforting?
    • What would your last meal be?
    • What’s on your wishlist to buy right now?
    • If you could befriend an animal, which would it be?
    • What’s your favorite holiday tradition?
    • Would you rather time travel or read people’s minds?
    • If you could pick a theme song for your life, what would it be?
    • What’s the last thing you searched on Google?
    • Who was the last person you texted?
    • Do you like breakfast in bed?
    • Have you ever kissed someone under the mistletoe?
    • If you could be a cartoon character for a day, who would you be?
    • What song always gets you on the dance floor?
    • What’s the most bizarre way you’ve met someone?
Section 5 of 9:

Serious Questions for Couples

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  1. If you’ve been dating for a while, consider asking a few questions that’ll test your compatibility a bit more. Dive into politics, religion, and other touchy topics. Here are some examples: [9]
    • What are your thoughts on therapy?
    • Do you believe in God?
    • How do you feel about politics?
    • What’s one thing you wish you could change about the world?
    • Do you ever want kids?
    • How would your ex describe you?
    • What are your thoughts on religion?
    • Is there anything about the future that worries you?
    • What political party do you identify with most?
    • Do you ever think violence is justified?
    • Do you believe in luck?
    • Should bills be split equally or shared in a relationship? [10]
    • What is your biggest emotional need?
    • What’s something you agree to disagree on?
    • What do you think happens to people when they die?
    • What social issue do you care about most?
    • Do you have any regrets? [11]
    • When do you feel disconnected from me?
    • Do you see marriage in our future?
    • Is owning a home important to you?
    • Have you ever experienced grief?
    • Would you say we’re financially compatible?
    • When was the last time you cried?
    • What fears do you have about our relationship?
    • Do you think we’re compatible long-term?
    • How do you feel about our current communication?
    • What would you do if we had a big conflict?
    • What aspects of our lives are most compatible?
    • How do you prefer to handle disagreements?
    • Who did you vote for in the election?
    • How do you define a committed relationship?
    • Would you sacrifice your career for love?
    • Why did your last relationship end?
    EXPERT TIP

    Laura Bilotta

    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.
    Laura Bilotta
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker

    Establish boundaries. Before asking questions, discuss what topics are off-limits or uncomfortable for each of you. This can include things like past relationships or personal traumas.

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Section 6 of 9:

Questions for Couples About Personal Growth

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  1. Discuss your personal goals and dreams with one another. A great way to learn more about your partner (and share more about yourself) is to uncover what they want to improve about themselves. Ask about their hopes and dreams, current life, and how they want to grow as a person in the next few years.
    • What’s one thing you wish you could unlearn?
    • Who do you look up to most?
    • If you could do it all over again, would you pick the same career?
    • Do you ever wish you lived in a different place?
    • If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?
    • What would you say is your best quality?
    • Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
    • What outfit do you feel the most confident in?
    • What’s one song that describes your life?
    • What’s an embarrassing moment from your past you can laugh about now?
    • What would you do every day if money were no object?
    • How do you feel you’ve personally grown in the last year?
    • What would you say is your greatest accomplishment?
    • What’s the most sentimental thing you own?
    • If you could manifest anything right now, what would it be?
    • How would you define your future?
    • How do you address conflict?
    • What have your past relationships taught you?
    • What personal challenge has molded you the most?
    • Do you have an ideal timeline for your life?
    • What are you most afraid of?
    • What is your strength?
    • If you could re-live a year in your life, which year would you choose?
    • What decade of life are you looking forward to most?
    • What boundaries are most important to you?
    • How do you handle change?
    • What are your current goals?
    • How do you manage stress?
    • How do you step outside of your comfort zone?
    • What brings you joy?
    • How do you conquer your fears?
    • How do you like to learn new things?
    • When you’re feeling down, how do you cheer yourself up?
    • What’s the most important thing in your life?
    • What challenges have you overcome lately?
    • Are you living true to yourself?
    • What achievement are you secretly really proud of?
Section 7 of 9:

Questions for Couples Who Just Started Dating

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  1. Stick with simple get-to-know-you questions for first dates. If you’ve just started dating, keep it simple and lighthearted at first. Ask general questions about their life, likes and dislikes, career, and so forth. In other words, ask whatever you want to know!
    • Are you a morning bird or a night owl?
    • On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your cleanliness?
    • Who was your first cartoon crush?
    • What do you do for a living?
    • What’s something you believe is always worth the money?
    • Do you prefer being indoors or outdoors?
    • What’s one thing you can’t leave home without?
    • What’s the best trip you’ve ever been on?
    • What’s the most bizarre dream you’ve ever had?
    • How would your best friend describe you?
    • Do you have a hidden talent?
    • What’s the strangest food combination you enjoy?
    • Does pineapple belong on pizza?
    • What’s the most surprising thing someone can learn about you?
    • What’s your best quality?
    • What’s your worst quality?
    • What’s your worst habit?
    • Which movie best represents your life?
    • Which actor would you pick to star in a sitcom about your life?
    • What foods do you find yourself craving most?
    • What’s the most random fact you know?
    • What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t?
    • If you could switch jobs for a day, what job would you have?
    • What’s the weirdest thing you believed as a kid?
    • What are you really passionate about?
    • How do you love to spend a weekend?
    • Do you prefer the mountains or the beach?
    • Who would you consider your support system?
    • Waffles or pancakes?
    • Who do you usually go to for advice?
    • What’s your dream job?
    • What movie can you quote from beginning to end?
    • What are you currently watching on TV?
    • What’s something interesting that happened to you today?
    • What’s the worst movie you’ve watched?
    • What makes you laugh most?
    • Sweet or savory breakfast?
    • Are you a planner or do you like to go with the flow?
    • What’s a random fun fact about you?
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Section 8 of 9:

Questions About Your Favorite Things

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  1. Confess what things you love and dislike with your partner. Your favorite things can say a lot about you, your interests, and your life. So, don’t be afraid to ask your partner about theirs! Here are some questions to help you get started:
    • What’s your favorite quote?
    • Which holiday is your favorite?
    • What’s your favorite meal?
    • What’s your favorite place in the world?
    • What are your top 3 favorite TV shows?
    • What’s your favorite emoji?
    • What’s your favorite animal?
    • What’s your favorite color?
    • What’s your favorite hobby?
    • What’s your favorite memory from high school?
    • What’s your favorite thing about me?
    • What’s your favorite thing about your family?
    • What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
    • What’s your favorite meme?
    • What’s your favorite cereal?
    • What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
    • Who’s your favorite author?
    • Who’s your favorite president?
    • Who’s your favorite actor?
    • Who’s your favorite superhero?
    • Who’s your favorite villain?
    • Who’s your favorite Disney princess?
    • What’s your favorite poem?
    • What’s your favorite outfit?
    • What’s your favorite comfort meal?
    • What’s your favorite pizza?
    • What’s your favorite dipping sauce?
    • What’s your favorite drink?
    • What’s your favorite candy?
    • What’s your favorite travel accessory?
    • What’s your favorite thing about your job?
    • What’s your favorite dessert?
    • What’s your favorite restaurant?
    • What’s your favorite movie genre?
    • What’s your favorite app?
    • What’s your favorite board game?
    • What was your favorite toy as a kid?
    • What’s your favorite accessory?
    • What’s your favorite thing about where you live?
    • What’s your favorite vegetable?
    • What’s your favorite type of cheese?
Section 9 of 9:

How Asking Questions Strengthens Your Relationship

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  1. When you answer questions honestly, you’re being vulnerable. Encouraging vulnerability with your partner shows that you trust them, which in turn helps create a strong foundation for the relationship. [12]
  2. 2
    Discovered values and beliefs There’s always something new to learn about someone, even your partner! By asking questions , you can discover more about their values and beliefs, which can help you decide if you’re a true match.
  3. 3
    Improves emotional intimacy. Meaningful questions that go beneath the surface can uncover something new about a person. By opening up and sharing your deepest thoughts with one another, you’re strengthening your emotional connection . [13]
  4. 4
    Uncovered shared interests Asking each other questions unlocks hidden dreams, hobbies, and interests—some that you might not even know you have in common. So, dive deep into a conversation to get to know each other better.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Follow up your questions by making observations. For instance, you can inquire about what it was like where they grew up or what part of town they’d recommend going to. Deeper questions like this help build rapport and a stronger connection.

  5. 5
    Improved communication skills Talking to your partner and encouraging each other to answer questions can help you both feel safe within the relationship. This opens the door for more communication , helping you articulate your thoughts and feelings freely, especially during future disagreements. [14]
  6. Having meaningful, thought-provoking conversations with your partner helps cultivate a safe space for you both. Being able to talk openly with one another builds a strong support system for the future. [15]
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