How High Are My Dating Standards?

Take this quiz to see how high your dating standards are.

If you ask us, having high dating standards is a good thing. When you know your worth, it can help you find the person who’s meant for you. Curious to find out whether your dating standards are higher or lower than the average person's?

That’s where we come in! Answer these quick questions, and we’ll tell you how high your standards are—plus, we’ll offer expert tips on how to find the partner of your dreams.

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Questions Overview

1. Do you want someone who lives alone?

(About 47% of all single people in America live alone.)
  1. Yes, I need someone who has a place all to themself. No roommates.
  2. They could have one or two roommates, but I think that's about it.
  3. Living alone is a plus, but my partner doesn’t have to live alone.
  4. I don't know; I’m not sure about my answer.
2. Does your life partner need to have an impressive career?

(About half of all Americans say they have a desirable job.)
  1. Yes, a successful career is a must.
  2. I want someone who has a stable job, but they don’t have to be successful.
  3. I don't care if they have a successful career.
  4. I don't know; I’m not sure about my answer.
3. Are you only open to dating someone with your same religious or spiritual beliefs?

(About 1 in 6 couples say they're both equally religious.)
  1. Absolutely. I want us to have the same faith.
  2. I'd definitely prefer someone with the same spirituality, but it's not a dealbreaker.
  3. It's not super important to me, as long as they respect my views.
  4. I don't know; I’m not sure about my answer.
4. Do you prefer someone who’s vegan or vegetarian?

(About 6% of American adults are vegan or vegetarian.)
  1. Yes, they must be vegan or vegetarian.
  2. I'd definitely prefer someone who’s vegan or vegetarian, but it’s not a dealbreaker.
  3. Actually, I’d prefer it if they weren’t vegan or vegetarian.
  4. I don’t know, or I don’t really mind either way, as long as we eat tasty food!
5. Do you prefer someone who’s more outgoing than you, or more reserved?
  1. I’m definitely the outgoing one, so they should probably be more reserved. Otherwise, just think of the chaos!
  2. I’m pretty shy, so I’d appreciate someone who’s more outgoing to balance our personalities.
  3. I don’t really if they’re outgoing or not, as long as our personalities work together.
  4. I don't know.
6. Do you prefer a partner who's super clean, or can they be a little messy?

(About half of all Americans say they clean their home at least once a month.)
  1. They have to be organized and squeaky clean! I don't want to clean up after anyone.
  2. They can be a little messy, as long as it doesn't get in my way.
  3. I don't mind a messy person, but I don't want total chaos.
  4. I don't know, or I don't care.
7. Do you prefer someone who's more active than you, or less active?
  1. I definitely want someone who's super active and likes to get moving!
  2. I want someone who's down to get their heart rate up, but they don't have to be a huge athlete.
  3. I don't really need someone who's super active, but I don't mind if they are.
  4. I don't know.
8. Do you want a partner who gives more expensive gifts than you give them?
  1. Totally. I want to be absolutely spoiled!
  2. I love getting gifts, but they don't have to go all-out or anything.
  3. Nah, I don't need gifts to like someone!
  4. I don't know, or I don't care.
9. Are you looking for someone who’s a specific height? (As in, someone who’s taller or shorter than you?)
  1. Yes. I need someone who’s a perfect match for my height, whether that means they’re tall to my short, or the other way around.
  2. It’d be nice to find someone who’s a certain height, but I’m willing to overlook that if they’re a good fit for me otherwise.
  3. I don’t really care about their height! That’s not something I look for in a partner.
  4. I don't know.
10. Do you prefer a partner who plays an instrument?

(About 20% of all Americans play an instrument.)
  1. Nope. I need quiet around my household.
  2. I’d like a musician, as long as music doesn’t get in the way of the relationship.
  3. It doesn't really matter to me if they play an instrument or not.
  4. I don't know.
11. Are you open to a more casual relationship for now? Or do you only want to date someone who wants something serious?

(About 31% of singles in America say they’re only looking for a committed relationship.)
  1. I'm looking for my life partner, and will accept nothing less!
  2. I'm on the hunt for my life partner, but I don't mind something short-term in the meantime.
  3. I'm kind of just enjoying myself! If I meet someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with, great. If not, no big deal.
  4. I don't know.
12. Finally, would you be willing to compromise on one or more of the dealbreakers we’ve asked about so far, if the person was amazing?
  1. Nope. They're not the person for me if I have to compromise on what I want.
  2. Maybe, but I'd have to really think about it, and there are some things I wouldn't compromise on.
  3. Sure, if I liked the person enough! My standards are more of a wishlist than anything.
  4. I don't really have expectations for a relationship, so I guess I wouldn't have to compromise!

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High standards are a good thing, and you should never lower your standards for someone who doesn't treat you right. But if the search for love starts to feel like you\u2019re checking boxes rather than falling for a human, you might actually be limiting yourself. Your standards aren\u2019t \u201ctoo high\u201d (is there such a thing?) but remember: the key is to have both high standards and an open mind! If you stick to your expectations 100%, you might miss out on your perfect person, even if they didn't check all the boxes.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-Your-Soulmate"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Answer \u201cWhat Are You Looking For in a Relationship?\u201d","id":13252752,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship-Step-11.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship-Step-11.jpg","alt":"How to Answer \u201cWhat Are You Looking For in a Relationship?\u201d"},{"title":"How to Find Your Soulmate","id":131241,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-Your-Soulmate","image":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0f\/Find-Your-Soulmate-Step-21.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Find-Your-Soulmate-Step-21.jpg","alt":"How to Find Your Soulmate"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":2,"text":"Your standards are higher than the average person.","meaning":"You know you deserve the best, and you're not going to settle for much less. When it comes to dating, you're looking for the complete package. Of course, you're flexible when it comes to the smaller details, and it's not a total dealbreaker if someone isn\u2019t exactly what you\u2019re expecting, but there are some standards you won\u2019t change, nor should you! After all, you shouldn't have to compromise in matters of love.

High standards are a good thing, and you should never lower your standards for someone who doesn't treat you right. But if the search for love starts to feel like you\u2019re checking boxes rather than falling for a human, you might actually be limiting yourself. Your standards aren\u2019t \u201ctoo high\u201d (is there such a thing?) but remember: the key is to have both high standards and an open mind! If you stick to your expectations 100%, you might miss out on your perfect person, even if they didn't check all the boxes.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-Your-Soulmate"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Answer \u201cWhat Are You Looking For in a Relationship?\u201d","id":13252752,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship-Step-11.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship-Step-11.jpg","alt":"How to Answer \u201cWhat Are You Looking For in a Relationship?\u201d"},{"title":"How to Find Your Soulmate","id":131241,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-Your-Soulmate","image":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0f\/Find-Your-Soulmate-Step-21.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Find-Your-Soulmate-Step-21.jpg","alt":"How to Find Your Soulmate"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":3,"text":"Your standards are about average.","meaning":"When it comes to dating, you're realistic, but also optimistic. You know that nobody's perfect, and that you might have to shift your expectations now and then to find the perfect partner, but that won't stop you from looking for that perfect person. Maybe they're a little messy, or have unconventional interests or ways of showing affection, but you know that love can bloom where you least expect it, and you embrace that! That said, you won't compromise on the important things, like mutual respect and effort, and so your standards are super high where it counts, and that's key.

That said, don\u2019t be afraid if someone comes along and blows your standards out of the water. Sometimes we limit ourselves to what we think we deserve, but the truth is, you do deserve an amazing partner. Realistic expectations are great, but don\u2019t let them stop you from finding the love of your dreams.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-Your-Soulmate"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Find Your Soulmate","id":131241,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-Your-Soulmate","image":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0f\/Find-Your-Soulmate-Step-21.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Find-Your-Soulmate-Step-21.jpg","alt":"How to Find Your Soulmate"},{"title":"How to Answer \u201cWhat Are You Looking For in a Relationship?\u201d","id":13252752,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship-Step-11.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-What-Are-You-Looking-for-in-a-Relationship-Step-11.jpg","alt":"How to Answer \u201cWhat Are You Looking For in a Relationship?\u201d"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":4,"text":"You could probably raise your standards.","meaning":"We're not saying your standards are too low, or that you have bad taste. All we're saying is that you deserve a person who'll treat you like the grade-A, home-run, complete package that you are. Or, maybe you\u2019re just not sure what you\u2019re looking for yet, and so are still figuring out what your standards are.

Whatever the case, you're a total catch, so start looking for someone who can match that energy, and don't waste your time on people who don't recognize your value. When it comes to love, you shouldn't ever compromise on things like mutual respect, communication, or enthusiasm, so get out there and find someone who can give you those things!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Raise-Your-Standards"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-Your-Soulmate"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Raise Your Standards","id":5510382,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Raise-Your-Standards","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/52\/Raise-Your-Standards-Step-21.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Raise-Your-Standards-Step-21.jpg","alt":"How to Raise Your Standards"},{"title":"How to Find Your Soulmate","id":131241,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-Your-Soulmate","image":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0f\/Find-Your-Soulmate-Step-21.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Find-Your-Soulmate-Step-21.jpg","alt":"How to Find Your Soulmate"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>\"Boyfriend<\/picture>","alt":"When Will I Get a Boyfriend Quiz"},{"title":"What's My Soulmate's Name Quiz","id":14325550,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Soulmate-Name-Quiz","image":"\"Soulmate<\/picture>","alt":"What's My Soulmate's Name Quiz"},{"title":"How Many Kids Will I Have Quiz","id":14052276,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/How-Many-Kids-Will-I-Have-Quiz","image":"\"How<\/picture>","alt":"How Many Kids Will I Have Quiz"}],"number":1},{"text":"Tell me about what's most important to me.","result":"Absolutely! Let's test your values with these thought-provoking quizzes:","next_quizzes":[{"title":"Religious Values Test","id":14250296,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Religious-Values-Test","image":"\"Religious<\/picture>","alt":"Religious Values Test"},{"title":"How Empathetic Am I Quiz","id":14397248,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Empathy-Test","image":"\"Empathy<\/picture>","alt":"How Empathetic Am I Quiz"},{"title":"What Type of Person Am I Quiz","id":13974160,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Type-of-Person-Am-I","image":"\"What<\/picture>","alt":"What Type of Person Am I Quiz"}],"number":2}]}" class="quiz_questionnaire_data"/>

Finding Your Standards

They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but the trick is finding the right fish for you. That’s where standards come in. Standards are sort of like a grading rubric for your potential romantic partners, and they help weed out the people who aren’t a match while also finding the people who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated: like a total catch.

Everyone’s standards are different, because we all want and need different things for a healthy relationship. Some things, though, aren’t a matter of preference and are just the basic building blocks of a successful, happy relationship. Here are a few:

Mutual respect
This is maybe the most important quality in a relationship. Without mutual respect, well, you may as well not be in a relationship—what’s the point of dating someone you don’t like, or who doesn’t like you? Respect is about seeing each other as full, complex people, each with your own wants and needs, and not just as someone who’s around for fun. Look for someone who sees you for who you are, and doesn’t try to change you into someone you’re not.

Communication
Communication is crucial for any relationship, whether you live together and are in the same room for 24 hours a day, or are keeping up with each other while dating long-distance. It looks different for everyone, but it’s not optional. Ideally, a healthy relationship is one where you can respectfully speak your mind without worrying about jeopardizing the relationship, and also one where you listen closely to what your partner has to say.

Enthusiasm
Here’s one that people don’t always think about! Your relationship should be fun, and you should want to be in it. But relationships aren’t always fun and games—sometimes they take effort, like when you have to have an important talk or sacrifice things to make it work. If you and your partner are both enthusiastic about each other and the relationship, though, you’ll be more than happy to put in the effort to set yourselves up for success.

Clear boundaries
When you’re in a relationship, you and your partner are a unit, true, but you’re still separate people, with your own identities. Establishing boundaries in the relationship is key to navigating and respecting your differences. Maybe you want to make sure you can still go out on the town each weekend, while your partner would rather have a certain amount of alone time each week. Those are boundaries that you’ll want to discuss sooner rather than later.

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