How to Seduce Someone Using Only Your Eyes

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Mastering the art of seductive eye contact
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Whether you call it a come-hither look, bedroom eyes, or coquettish glance, eye contact can be a powerful tool when it comes to seduction. There are several ways you can use your eyes to show your attraction and get the other person interested in you. This article covers how to initiate and intensify your seductive glance. It also tells you how to use your body language to make your gaze even more intriguing. Plus, we spoke with dating and relationship experts to get their best advice for using your eyes to flirt and seduce.

How to Seduce Someone with Your Eyes: The Basics

Initiate eye contact with a few brief glances. After that, dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld recommends holding eye contact for 3-4 seconds and then smiling. Then, focus on one eye, then the other, before dropping your gaze to their lips and back to their eyes.

Section 1 of 4:

Seducing Someone with Your Eyes

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  1. If you haven’t had an opportunity to catch their eye head-on, simply watch them from the corner of your eyes for a few minutes to see if they glance in your direction. If they do, raise your brows slightly and smile to show interest. [1]
    • Spend 5 or 10 minutes checking out someone you find attractive from the side of your eye to see if they’re looking at you, too. Be cool, and don't make it too obvious.
    • It can help to give someone a sideways glance while laughing at something a friend said. Laughter is infectious and can be attractive to someone you're trying to seduce.
  2. If you're shy, start things off with a couple of brief glances. A double take definitely conveys interest. Licensed relationship therapist Alysha Jeney says, “I think just like intentional locking of eyes and holding it for a few seconds at a time and maybe looking back, that sends a signal that you're interested.” [2] By taking the initiative, you also show confidence, which many people find attractive.
    • People tend to be interested in those who are interested in them. If you're making an effort to meet someone's gaze from across the room, it tends to intrigue them.
    • Look for cues the other person is interested in you. Use this as an opportunity to make initial eye contact .
    • Cues can be subtle, like someone giving a quick glance in your direction. Women may sometimes run their fingers through their hair to convey attraction.
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  3. Dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld says, “The biggest thing with eye contact is you've got to hold it a lot more than you think you do. Got to hold it for three to four seconds. And once you can do that, add a smile as well.” [3] A genuine smile shows someone you're friendly and would not mind being approached.
    • Dating coach John Keegan says, “Smiling makes you more likable, and people will warm up to you. But if it's a fake smile… it can seem the opposite. It is suspicious.” [4]
    • Relax the muscles around your eyes and slightly lower your lids to really get a seductive look.
  4. After giving "the look" glance away or look down and continue talking to your friends. [5] Keep smiling, laughing, and engaging in conversation. However, every once in a while look back at the person you’re trying to seduce. Occasional brief glances are an invitation for the person to approach you.
    • Let your eyes meet for long enough to let them know you’re looking intentionally and didn’t just happen to be scanning the room.
    • These little glances can help that first spark of attraction grow and build a little heat.
  5. Rosenfeld says that eye contact is usually the first invitation for someone to make a move. [6] So, when you make good eye contact with someone, be ready for them to start walking toward you. You don’t have to stare at them the entire time it takes for them to get to you, but a direct glance or two confirms that you’re interested and gives them a little encouragement.
  6. While eye contact is key to attraction, being too enthusiastic can be off-putting and even creepy. [7] Once you've initiated a conversation with someone, glance away while they're talking now and again. Don’t be rude by glancing away to look at your phone or someone else, though. Just briefly glance to the left or right to avoid overwhelming the other person with eye contact.
    • Strive to look at someone's face about three-quarters of the time you're talking to that person.
    • Keep your glances between one and seven seconds. This shows a genuine interest, which can be attractive, but does not overwhelm a potential partner with eye contact.
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Section 2 of 4:

Intensifying Seductive Eye Contact

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  1. Sideways glances are fine when you’re trying to see if they’re interested. But once you’ve caught their attention, it’s time to look at them directly. Maintain level, steady eye contact when talking to someone. Making eye contact during a conversation is also a good way to show that you’re interested and paying attention to what they’re saying. [8]
    • Keep your seductive eye contact relaxed and natural during a conversation.
    • Gradually extend the length of time you hold their gaze to communicate a feeling of intimacy. [9]
    • A minute or so of mutual gazing can heighten the attraction between you to a near-intimate level.
  2. The triangle gaze or triangle method is an old-school flirting technique that people still use…because it works! It involved looking from the person’s eyes to their mouth and back again in a triangle shape. Start by focusing on one eye. Hold it for a few seconds, and then move to their other eye. After a few seconds, drop your gaze to their lips for a second and then go back to the first eye. [10]
    • It helps you show interest and build a connection, both essential to seduction.
    • Try to keep it natural, though. If you’re focusing too much on moving from eye to eye to mouth, you might stop listening and seem distracted.
  3. Jeney says expressions with your eyebrows and winking are considered flirting. [11] Adding them to good eye contact can help dial up the sexual tension. Winking is a common way to say hello or show sexual interest. [12] An eyebrow flash is very similar.
    • It’s a quick lifting and lowering of your eyebrows and often happens without you even knowing it when you see a friend. [13]
    • However, eyebrow flashes are also a sign of flirting.
  4. Take things a step further by checking them out. Sweep your eyes over them from head to toe and back again, then smile again to let him know that you like what you see. Don’t linger too long on any part but their eyes, though. Staring at someone’s body while they’re talking to you is rude and may make them feel uncomfortable.
    • When you're interested in someone, show it by eyeing their head and shoulders while they talk. This helps you convey attraction and avoid seeming creepy .
    • You can also tell if a person is interested in you based on how they look at you. If someone glances at your hips and thighs, there's a good chance they're interested.
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Section 3 of 4:

Seductive Body Language

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  1. “Body language is really important in dating…[it’s] what keeps people out of the friend zone,” says dating coach and matchmaker Erika Kaplan. Matching a confident gaze with confident, approachable body language helps bolster attraction.
  2. Rosenfeld says, “Look at their actions and how responsive they are to the general idea of conversing and spending time with you. If they’re more responsive…have good energy…are excited to see you…then they’re into it.” [15] If someone is leaning closer and reciprocating your touch, they’re probably interested, adds Keegan. [16]
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Section 4 of 4:

What do seductive eyes look like?

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  1. A seductive gaze often involves locking your eyes with someone using a soft gaze with hooded or slightly lowered upper eyelids. It often involves relaxing your facial muscles, especially the ones around your eyes. They’re meant to intrigue another person, so they’ll return the intense gaze. [19]
    • Add an inviting smile to turn up the heat.
    • Celebrities who are often said to have seductive eyes are Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, and Paul Newman.

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you flirt with your eyes while wearing a mask?
    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
    Licensed Relationship Therapist
    Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.
    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
    Licensed Relationship Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Try to intentionally lock eyes with the other person for a few seconds. That's a great to show that you're interested!
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      Tips

      • If it feels too intense or nerve-racking to look directly into their eyes, try looking at a location on their face that's close to their eyes, such as the space between their eyebrows or the space between the eyes and mouth. [20]
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      • If you're not used to flirting with your eyes, try practicing with yourself in the mirror. It may help you become more comfortable and confident with eye contact!
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • If you wear makeup, use it to bring out the best in your eyes! Put on mascara, eye shadow, or some eyeliner to give your gaze a more striking quality.
      • Subtly look at the other person's mouth for a second while they're talking. This is a great way to let them know you are attracted to them!
      • Whatever you do, don't stare at them too much! This will definitely make them feel uncomfortable. Remember, less is more in this situation.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/read-people-eyes/
      2. ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.
      3. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
      4. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.
      5. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/flirting-everything-you-need-t
      6. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
      7. ↑ https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190108-why-meeting-anothers-gaze-is-so-powerful
      8. ↑ https://www.skillsbuilder.org/universal-framework-steps/listening-step-6
      9. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/prolonged-eye-contact
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-funny-bone-to-pick/202307/does-the-triangle-method-of-flirting-really-work
      2. ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.
      3. ↑ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/wink
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201705/eyebrows-may-flash-veracity
      5. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
      6. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
      7. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.
      8. ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.
      9. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.
      10. ↑ https://parade.com/living/bedroom-eyes-meaning
      11. ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To seduce someone using only your eyes, be the one to initiate eye contact with the other person to show that you're confident. When you look at them, flash them a genuine smile so they know you're friendly and wouldn't mind being approached. If they smile back and seem interested, try glancing them up and down or giving them a seductive look. Don't stare for too long or you could make them feel uncomfortable. Instead, occasionally look back at them and smile to show them that you're still interested. To learn how to seduce someone with your eyes during a conversation, scroll down!

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