The 5 Stages of Dating (Plus, How to Handle Changes & Challenges)

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What to expect during the natural progression of relationships

Co-authored by Eddy Baller and Ali Garbacz, B.A.

Last Updated: September 30, 2023 Fact Checked

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Attraction

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Uncertainty

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Commitment

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Intimacy

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Engagement

It’s completely natural for relationships to go through various ups and downs as they progress. When you’re dating someone, everything might start out very exciting and positive, but then taper off as you and your partner are confronted with your differences. Read on to learn about the 5 stages of relationships and dating and get a better understanding of the changes you and your partner might experience. We’ll also give you plenty of advice about how to navigate any challenges that may occur.

1

Attraction

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The first stage is marked by infatuation and euphoria. Some people might also call this the “early stages of dating” or the “honeymoon phase.” During this time, attraction, lust, and positive feelings associated with your partner are at their highest. Everything seems pretty much perfect when you’re in this phase. Your sexual energy might be at an all-time high, you likely constantly think about your partner, and everything your partner does just makes you incredibly happy. ^{[1]
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Cleveland Clinic
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- The honeymoon phase can last anywhere from a couple of weeks to multiple months or even years. Some people also experience similar rushes of euphoria and excitement later in their relationship, usually after big changes such as getting engaged or married.
- Potential challenges: It can be easy to get swept up in this rush of excitement and move your relationship along faster than either of you are ready for. Remember to take things slow and spend time really getting to know each other better before making any big decisions or commitments.

2

Uncertainty

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In the second stage, you begin to notice your partner’s flaws. After the initial high of the honeymoon phase usually comes a time of frustration and even disappointment as you and your partner start seeing each other for who you really are. You might try to deny these differences at first to preserve those initial feelings of attraction, or you and your partner might argue more as these differences make themselves known. ^{[2]
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Research source} For instance, your partner likes to go out on Friday nights; you don’t. You like to cuddle; they aren’t a big fan of physical closeness.
- This stage can feel like a power struggle between you and your partner as you both fight to get your way.
- It’s not uncommon for couples to start questioning whether they really want to continue with the relationship or not. If you and your partner don’t think you can work past your differences, ending things may be the healthiest choice. ^{[3]
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- Potential challenges: The challenge here is finding a way to compromise with your partner. This requires you both to keep an open mind about the things that make you different and treat each other with mutual respect . Really listen to your partner and make an effort to see things from their perspective. Rather than get frustrated over your differences, sit down and talk to your partner about what’s upsetting you and work together to come up with a solution.

3

Commitment

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In the third stage, you and your partner become exclusive. If you and your partner are able to work past your differences, you’ll likely enter a stage full of mutual respect and a newfound commitment to one another. This is also the stage where you might make your relationship official with each other. There may still be challenges ahead, but you’ve likely learned how to tackle those challenges as a team. ^{[4]
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- As opposed to the honeymoon phase, both you and your partner likely have a more realistic view of your relationship. You realize that not everything will be perfect all the time, but you see that as a chance to continuously improve rather than something to fear.
- Potential challenges: Some people believe that they’ve overcome all of the hurdles in their relationship and that everything will be smooth sailing from here on out. But the reality is that any relationship is bound to have ups and downs. The key to maintaining a healthy relationship is to continuously communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Rather than bottle up your emotions and tell yourself that everything is fine, be honest with your partner when things bother you. ^{[5]
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4

Intimacy

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In the fourth stage, you two are intimate physically and emotionally. With these newfound feelings of commitment, you and your partner might make an effort to start really getting to know one another on a more personal level. You start to share more intimate details of your life, and your partner hopefully does the same. You might also discuss more serious topics, such as talking about your fears, aspirations, and personal values. ^{[6]
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- This might also be a time when you and your partner explore physical intimacy more deeply, and you may find yourself craving that closeness with your partner more than ever.
- Potential challenges: The challenge here is recognizing how each person handles intimacy. It may be hard for you or your partner to open up to each other, especially if either or both of you aren’t completely comfortable with being so vulnerable. The key is to continue to treat each other with respect and understanding. Listen attentively when your partner chooses to open up to you and keep an open mind about their personal experiences and opinions.

5

Engagement

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In the fifth stage, you begin to plan a future together. By this time, you and your partner likely have settled into a routine that you’re both comfortable with. You’ve found a way to resolve conflicts in a healthy way and are deeply bonded. You might even be thinking about taking your relationship to the next level, whether that’s making your relationship official to your families, moving in together, or getting engaged—though you don't have to get engaged or married to have a lifelong relationship, despite the name of the stage. ^{[7]
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- At this point, you and your partner are a team. You might even notice that you start saying “we” instead of “I,” signaling that you view them as a part of you. For example, instead of saying, “I’m happy to be here,” you might say, “We’re happy to be here.”
- Potential challenges: Of course, you and your partner may still face challenges even after arriving at this stage. The important thing is that you don’t ignore any conflicts or issues and address them as soon as possible. If you continue to communicate with your partner and be honest, your relationship will likely only continue to grow stronger.

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