If you’ve started smoking cigarettes, marijuana, or vaping, you may be worried about getting in trouble with your parents. The best thing you can do is to confide in your parents about what’s going on before they inevitably catch you. Try not to be afraid of the punishment you might get or the way they’ll react when they find out. While you can try a few techniques to minimize your smokey smell and hide evidence of your secret habit, try to get ahead of the issue in a mature way and ask for help in quitting. Remember not to start smoking until you’re of legal smoking age and only use legal substances, otherwise you may get into deep trouble with the law. If you need help to quit smoking, read How to Quit Smoking or visit the CDC website .
Steps
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Hide all of your smoking equipment in secret places. Find some good hiding spots in your room, your car, or wherever you want to keep your smoking stuff. Look for spots that your parents won’t look around regularly, but that they won’t think of as an obvious hiding spot. For instance, instead of hiding your lighters and cigarettes in the glove compartment, which is an “obvious” hiding spot, tuck them beneath the seat of your car.
- For an on-the-go hiding spot, try tucking your cigarettes and lighters inside the small, hidden pockets in the lining of your jacket or coat.
- If you want to hide your smoking stuff in your room, consider stashing it in a hollowed-out book or toward the back of your closet. [1] X Research source
- Don't hide your cigarettes in your sock drawer if your parents tend to put away your laundry. Instead, look for drawers that are rarely used or hard to reach.
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Don’t smoke in or around your home. If you light up in your room or another seemingly secret spot in or around your parents’ home, you’ll almost certainly get caught because of the awful smell . If you want to hide the fact that you smoke, only smoke when you’re out and about with friends. Choose private or public spaces where smoking is permitted, but where you won’t run into any family friends, teachers, or neighbors.
- Don't smoke inside vacant properties; trespassing on these properties is illegal and dangerous.
- Avoid smoking around your school; teachers or administrators might alert your parents to what you’re doing.
- Never smoke in bed; it’s extremely dangerous. It’s easy to fall asleep and drop your cigarette, thereby starting a house fire.
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Use only your own money to purchase smoking gear. If you have a job and your own income and bank account, your parents might not notice how you’re spending your money. However, if you’re spending your allowance or asking your parents for more money without telling the truth about where it’s going, they’ll start to get suspicious. Avoid spending too much money in a short period of time, and don’t hint at the fact that you’re out of cash when your parents know you just got a paycheck or your allowance.
- Be careful about borrowing money from other kids to buy your smoking equipment. If you don’t have a reliable source of income and end up in debt to someone else, things could get dicey pretty quickly.
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Exhale smoke through a sploof. Save empty cardboard paper towel and toilet paper tubes. Then stuff them with crumpled dryer sheets to create a sploof. Or secure a few dryer sheets over the end of the tube with a rubber band. When you’re smoking, exhale the smoke through the tube. The dryer sheets will filter out some of the smoke. [2] X Research source
- Remember that your parents might know just as much about mistakes as you do, and they might get suspicious if you start hoarding toilet paper tubes or dryer sheets.
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Cover up your hair while you smoke. Smoke odors cling to hair, so try protecting your hair as much as possible if you can’t take a shower before seeing your parents. [3] X Research source If you have long hair, pull it up in a bun to keep it out of the way. Cover up your head with a hat or hood and draw it closed to prevent any smoke from seeping in. Then switch to a different hat or hoodie before you get home.
- Consider wearing a shower cap or swim cap when you smoke to really seal off your hair from getting smokey.
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Keep a separate set of clothes for smoking in. If you show up at home wearing clothes that reek of smoke, your parents will notice. Have a separate outfit on hand for when you want to smoke. Consider bringing along a hoodie or sweater and another set of bottoms with you when you head out to smoke. Change into these clothes while you smoke and keep your regular outfit well away from where you’re smoking. When you’re finished, seal up your smelly clothes in a separate bag and switch back into your regular outfit.
- If your regular clothes have any traces of smoke, air them out or spritz them with a deodorizing fabric spray before seeing your parents.
- Be strategic about this. If you go out wearing one outfit and come home wearing something totally different, your parents will know something’s up.
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Air out your car if you smoke inside it. Make sure you don’t smoke in the same care that your parents use. If you smoke in your own car, crack open your windows and make sure to hold your cigarette out the window. Turn up the heating or air conditioning, depending on the weather, and aim the vents towards the nearest window to help push the smoke outside. Be sure to exhale the smoke with a strong whoosh out the open window. When you’re done, roll the windows down more and leave the air on. Cruise around for a while to air out the vehicle, yourself, and other passengers.
- Don’t leave your windows cracked when it’s parked at home since your parents might get suspicious.
- Be sure to drive safely and responsibly, even if you’re smoking. Also, keep in mind that it may be illegal to smoke in a car with any passengers who are still minors.
- Avoid tossing your cigarette out of the window and littering the streets.
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Wash your hands to get rid of the smell after smoking. Suspicious parents may ask to smell your fingers, so make sure you wash off as much of the smell as possible. Wherever you are, head to a sink to scrub off your hands with warm water and scented hand soap. Splash your face, mouth, and nose, too, if you can’t stop for a shower. [4] X Research source
- If you’re out and about, try stopping by a gas station bathroom or another public restroom on your way home.
- Use cigarette holders or grip your cigarette with a folded-up piece of paper towel to reduce the contact your hand makes with the cigarette.
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Freshen up your breath with toothpaste, mouthwash, gum, or mints. As soon as you can, brush your teeth with toothpaste to freshen up your teeth and tongue. If you’re on the go, chew on a piece of minty sugar-free gum or eat a breath mint to reduce the signs of smoke. [5] X Research source
- Eating peppermint candies can also help, but do this in moderation so you don’t get cavities.
- Bring a portable toothbrush and a travel-sized toothpaste with you so you can brush your teeth at any sink while you’re out.
- Remember that even if you take great care of your teeth, smoking will still do irreversible damage to your oral health. [6] X Research source
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Shower after smoking to wash off the smell. Smoke odors can linger on your clothes, hair, and skin for hours, and it’s nearly impossible to smoke without smelling . If you can, take a shower as soon as possible after smoking, before you get home, to rinse off the odors. Lather up your hair with shampoo and use a scented body wash to get rid of any smoke particles and odors. [7] X Research source Don’t forget to change your clothes, too, so you smell totally fresh and free of smoke.
- After you smoke, try hitting the gym and shower in the locker room before heading home.
- If possible, get home before your parents do and take a quick shower to cover up your odors.
- If you shower at an odd time of day, or show up from a friend’s house with wet hair and a different outfit, your parents will probably get suspicious.
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Spritz yourself with a fragrance to distract from the lingering smoke. Choose fragrances with musky, woody aromas that complement the smoke odors rather than sweet and floral scents. Opt for scents with bright top notes, too, such as citrus or peppermint, to draw the attention away from the smoke odors. [8] X Research source Spray a small amount to your collarbone or chest and your inner wrists, but avoid using too much fragrance.
- If you spray too much, your parents will get suspicious that you’re trying to hide something.
- Consider peeling and snacking on an orange after you smoke. Oranges give off a strong citrus smell that will cling to your hands and breath.
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Light incense or use a deodorizing spray to freshen up your room. Even if just a few of your belongings smell faintly of smoke, your parents will notice the tell-tale smell when they enter your room. Get into the habit of burning incense or scented candles when you’re at home in your room. Not only can incense provide a strong aroma, but it also gives off a smokey burning smell. [9] X Research source As an alternative, spray your room with a deodorizing product to minimize the smoke smells.
- Never leave candles or incense burning unattended, as they can quickly cause fires.
- Don’t spray a deodorizer while you have candles or incense lit since the sprays are highly flammable.
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Own up and apologize if your parents catch you smoking. Avoid blaming the lingering smell on your smoker friend or a smokey place you visited. Don’t lie and say you just started trying it out if you’ve been smoking regularly for the past 6 months. Lying may only make your situation and eventual punishment worse. Once you’ve been caught, be honest and own up to it. Apologize for trying to deceive your parents and for breaking any specific household rules. [10] X Research source
- Be honest with your response: “Yes, you’re right, I have been smoking for a while now. I just thought it would be a cool thing to try, but I never thought it would get this out of hand, to the point where I’d be lying to you about it. I’m sorry, Dad.”
- Some ex-smokers are extremely sensitive to the smell of cigarettes. If your parents used to smoke, they may notice it even more quickly.
- Even if your parents are non-smokers, they will eventually find out. Non-smokers have healthier, more sensitive noses, so even if you can’t smell any traces of smoke, they probably can.
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Consider telling your parents about your smoking habit before they catch you. Whether your parents notice the smell on your breath or they get word from a neighbor who spotted you smoking in public, they’re eventually going to find out your secret. If you confess to smoking before this happens, you might avoid getting into huge trouble or putting a strain on your relationship with your parents.
- Your parents might be furious, but they might also value and respect the fact that you came to them to talk about something as personal as a habit you’ve been trying to keep secret. [11] X Research source
- Trying to hide your smoking addiction through lying and other extreme measures show that you’re practicing really unhealthy behaviors. Considering this, and the significant health risks smoking poses, your parents are right to be concerned.
- Don’t be surprised if your parents want to jump in and offer you support in quitting. If you’re not ready to getting help quitting just yet, it’s okay to say so, but don’t try to push them away.
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Accept whatever punishment you receive maturely. If and when your parents serve up a punishment, take a deep breath to calm your emotions and accept whatever punishment they give you. Don’t try to argue, lie, or negotiate your way out of it or act aggressively out of frustration. If possible, try to get ahead of the punishment. During your apology, suggest a punishment for yourself to show your maturity while suggesting a less horrible penalty than what they might come up with.
- Offer something like this: “Because of what I’ve done, I think it would be reasonable if you don’t let me borrow the car for a while, as a punishment.”
- While it may be hard to see it right away, your parents are most likely punishing you because they care about your health and wellbeing. The sooner you stop smoking, the better off you’ll be in the long run. [12] X Research source
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I tell them that I am smoking?Denise Brady is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Long Beach, CA. With 15 years of experience, she specializes in helping people through generational trauma and uses Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to assist clients in reprocessing traumatic experiences and memories. Denise is the owner of 'In the Meantime Breathe Family Counseling Services' and offers services in both California and Texas, including virtual and in-person therapy sessions. She also offers workshops, including ‘Embracing Empathy and Validation’ and ‘Preventing Parent Burnout’. Denise has previous experience working with the Department of Children Family Services (DCFS) and her practice is trusted and verified by Therapy for Black Girls and Psychology Today. She received her Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University in Los Angeles.Telling your parents that you smoke can feel difficult, especially if there are tensions around how they perceive you. Start by recognizing that the conversation may not just be about smoking—it could bring up deeper challenges, like how they still see you as a child or how they react to lifestyle choices that differ from their expectations. It’s okay if you feel like this is about more than just nicotine—it might also be about asserting independence or navigating a complex relationship dynamic. When you approach them, try to be straightforward but considerate. If they respond with frustration or disappointment, acknowledge their feelings without letting the conversation spiral. If they push back or treat you like a child, you can remind them that you’re sharing this because you want to be honest and take responsibility for your actions. You don’t have to defend every decision you’ve made, but you can express that you’re working through things in your own way. Set a calm and respectful tone, even if their reaction feels challenging.
Tips
- Quit smoking so you have nothing to hide. Smoking can wreck your physical health as well as your mental health, and lying can cause a lot of trouble in your relationships. Tell a trusted friend or mentor that you’d like to get some help quitting, or consider leaning on your parents for support. [13] X Trustworthy Source Mental Health Foundation UK charity working towards good mental health for all. Go to sourceThanks
- Don't litter. Dispose of cigarette butts and other smoking debris properly.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
- Taking your dog for a walk can be a good excuse for going out for enough time for the smell to wear off.
Warnings
- Refrain from smoking while pregnant.Thanks
- It’s illegal to smoke under the legal age limit in your region. Avoid smoking prohibited substances, too. Both of these acts are punishable by law.Thanks
- You might think smoking is cool or fun, but it’s actually a life-threatening issue. Smoking causes mouth, throat, and lung cancer, along with a whole host of other health problems, and is responsible for killing 1 in 5 people in the US. [14] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to sourceThanks
References
- ↑ https://powertotheparent.org/be-aware/hidden-in-plain-sight/
- ↑ https://powertotheparent.org/be-aware/hidden-in-plain-sight/
- ↑ https://www.themanual.com/culture/how-to-get-rid-of-cigar-smoke/
- ↑ https://www.leafly.com/news/lifestyle/tips-to-avoid-smelling-like-cannabis
- ↑ https://powertotheparent.org/be-aware/hidden-in-plain-sight/
- ↑ https://www.dentalhealth.org/smoking-and-oral-health
- ↑ https://www.themanual.com/culture/how-to-get-rid-of-cigar-smoke/
- ↑ https://herb.co/guides/how-to-hide-the-smell-of-weed/
- ↑ https://powertotheparent.org/be-aware/hidden-in-plain-sight/
- ↑ https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/there-is-no-such-thing-as-a-secret-smoker
- ↑ https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/there-is-no-such-thing-as-a-secret-smoker
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/13/the-secret-smoker-what-im-really-thinking
- ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/s/smoking-and-mental-health
- ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/about/?CDC_AAref_Val=https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/health_effects/effects_cig_smoking/index.htm
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Reader Success Stories
- "I used to smoke cigarettes and I always had suspicious parents and this helped me admit to them I had been smoking."