How to Make a Guy Jealous: Tips to Make Him Want You More

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How to use jealousy to your advantage without pushing him away
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All is fair in love and war, they say, and in the battleground of love there are few weapons more powerful than jealousy. Making a guy jealous can cause him to want you more and put in more effort to keep you–if you do it right. In this article, we’ll explain everything you need to know about how to make him just jealous enough, plus how to improve your relationship without playing games.

How can I make a guy jealous?

Dating coach Michele Fields says the best way to make a guy jealous is to disappear. The more you interact, the more he knows he's got you on the hook, so back off, be a bit mysterious, and let him wonder what you're up to. You can also casually flirt with other guys—but don't take it too far or you could push him away.

Section 1 of 4:

How to Make Him Jealous

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  1. Go out and have a laugh with your girls, dance at a party, or do something that makes you happy. Have a good time and fill him in later. Give whatever you're doing all of your attention, and the guy will see that you’re having an amazing time and not thinking of him at all (even if you are)! [1]
    • Don’t let him see you looking around the room for him or trying to put on an act for him. Have a good time so he really doesn't think he's on your mind at all. That will drive him crazy.
  2. Put in a bit of extra effort when you’re getting ready to catch his eye. Pick a cute, comfortable outfit that makes you feel confident, and dedicate time to styling your hair and putting on makeup (if you like wearing it). Looking like your best self will show him everything he’s missing and help with your self-esteem. [2]
    • Aim to look like your best self, not like a celebrity or a supermodel.
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  3. Wait to answer his calls or respond to his texts instead of immediately responding when he hits you up. When you call him back a couple of hours later (and you definitely should call him back if you're interested) be vague about what you're up to so he wonders what you were doing without him. [3]
    • Say you were out with a friend or you were just busy instead of giving him all the details.
    • In the same vein, if he calls you to ask if you want to do something, decline his offer every once in a while and just say that you have other plans (even if you don't).
    • If he texts you a lot, don't get back to him right away. Give it at least a day or two to make him see that you have better things to do than to get back to him ASAP (even if you don't!).
    • If he's passing you in the halls and says hi, you can say hi back, but don't slow down and talk to him; you've got places to go!
  4. Post pictures with guys you know, mention an amazing party or museum you went to recently, or just show the world how much you love your friends. You don't have to go overboard and post a photoshoot of you and ten hot guys playing a game of beach volleyball—just post your exciting moments and he may get jealous of all the fun you're having without him. [4]
    • Don't post too often, though, or he may think the opposite—that you have no life. Just posting something two or three times a week should do the trick.
  5. Talk to him for a few minutes and then tell him that you have to go–whether you're going to class, meeting up with friends, or doing absolutely nothing. If he thinks he can talk to you for hours until he has to go, then he may feel like he has all the power in the relationship. Even if you do like him, force yourself to break away.
    • You can even text other friends while you're together. If he feels like you aren’t paying attention to him, he may try harder to get your focus back on him. Be careful with this one, though, as doing so too frequently can make him feel like you don’t care about him. [5]
    • Smile at your phone or give your friend a call to make him really jealous!
  6. If he asks about your weekend, give him a flirty smile and say, "It was…really amazing." Leave him to guess what you mean by this. If you have to get going, say, "I'm late for this…thing I have to go to." He may think it's a date, and who are you to say otherwise?
    • Lead him to guess what you could be up to and to create his own scenarios that can make him jealous!
  7. If he’s into you, there are probably a few things he does around the house to help you out. If you want to make him jealous, start doing these things yourself to show him that you don’t need him—change the lightbulbs, take out the garbage, etc. Most guys love feeling like providers, so if he sees you handling things on your own, he’ll likely double down to really show that he cares.
  8. Keep yourself busy with things you enjoy, find hobbies, and hang out with your friends and loved ones. This will show him that you're going on with your life and having a good time regardless of him. Even if this technique fails to inspire jealousy in the guy, you'll be better off. Dedicating time to your friends has been shown to boost happiness and reduce stress. [6]
    • This can be especially useful for making your ex jealous.
    • If you don't stay busy, you may spend all of your time obsessing over the guy.
    • If you really can't stop thinking about the guy and have nothing to do, make a point of packing your schedule to keep busy.
    • If he can see you being busy and doing things that matter to you (other than him), then great. He'll be even more interested.
  9. Even if you don't actually go on dates, it's good to have some guy friends that you hang out with. Even if you're in a committed relationship, there's nothing wrong with having male friends, but when you hang out with them your boyfriend will probably get a little jealous and nervous.
    • If he asks about your history with your friend, keep things brief and tell him he’s just a friend.
  10. Keep it casual and low-key—just say something like, "Have you heard of the Arctic Monkeys? Mark burned me their newest CD and I just can't stop listening to it." The subtle mention of a guy you know can make him much more jealous than if you raved on and on about all of the guys you know. [7]
    • Talk to him about how funny a male colleague or friend is. Casually mention your male friend or colleague and tsay something like “This guy at work told me the funniest joke today!”
    • Send him pictures of you and your guy friends and say something like, “My friend John is coming into town this weekend. I’m so excited to see him!” He may realize he isn’t the only guy you’re close to and try harder to keep you close.
    • Most guys have a hard time even hearing about your interest in other guys, especially celebrities, so talk about how hot your favorite celebrity is or how you’d go for him if you two weren’t already dating.
    • Don't name-drop too often, though. Mentioning another guy's name on occasion will do the trick.
  11. Playfully flirt with guys in front of him by lightly tapping their arm, laughing at their jokes, or complimenting their outfit. Many men are incredibly competitive, and if he thinks that you’re available to other guys instead of him, he may end up getting jealous of them and try harder to be with you. [8]
    • If you flirt with too many guys in a short period of time, however, he might catch on, especially if you're not normally that much of a flirt.
    • Don't make it too obvious, because he might think you're not interested in him and plan to pursue someone else.
    • There's a difference between casually flirting and leading a guy on. Don't flirt too much with a guy just to get back at someone else, because you'll be getting the poor guy's hopes up.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 246 wikiHow readers what they think is the most effective way to make someone jealous, and 49% of them said flirting with someone else. [Take Poll]
  12. Whether you’re being honest or if it’s a little fib, telling him that someone asked you out is a surefire way to make him jealous. It can make him realize that there are other guys in the world that want to get with you, get jealous of them, and make him try harder to stay with you. [9]
  13. If you’ve just started talking to a guy or if a guy just dumped you, getting out and seeing other people can help keep your independence and make him try harder to get you or, in the case of an ex, really regret losing you. [10]
    • Don't date people you don't like just to get back at your ex. You may end up hurting someone’s feelings and further complicate things.
    • If you and the guy you're dating happen to be around the guy you're trying to make jealous, act natural. Let him see you having a great time instead of laughing too hysterically or trying too hard.
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Section 2 of 4:

Does making a guy jealous help get him back?

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  1. Jealousy is a natural and complex emotion that can evoke feelings of fear, anger, or resentment. It can sometimes be used to win back a guy you may have lost, but it could also lead to him pushing you away to avoid any hurt feelings. Put yourself in his shoes and think about how he would react before deciding whether to use jealousy to win him back or not. [11]
    • The drama that stems from jealousy may prove to be too much for your partner and he might decide to pull away from you.
    • If you feel like your jealousy is damaging your relationship, stop trying to make him jealous, take a step back, and evaluate your reasoning behind wanting to make him jealous.
Section 3 of 4:

How to Use Jealousy Skillfully

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  1. According to clinical psychologist Chloe Carmichael, jealousy can be reassuring in a way, as it shows that your partner is focused and cares about you. [12] But it’s important to use caution, as frequent or intense jealousy can create trust issues and drive a wedge in your relationship. Instead, psychotherapist Kelli Miller suggests that you have a conversation about what you're feeling so you can resolve any issues. [13]
    • If you're determined to make him jealous, don’t frequently post with other guys to make him jealous, as he may feel like a second option and seek attention somewhere else.
    • Remember, guys tend to avoid drama. If you want him to chase you, don’t constantly work to make him jealous, as it may push him away.
  2. A lot of guys, believe it or not, can actually tell when you're trying to make them jealous. Sometimes the best thing you can do is give a flirtatious smile to a different guy, and the guy whose attention you want will be all ears. It's the subtle things that can really make the guy who you want to make jealous take notice, so you don't go too far out of your way to make the guy see that you just want him to see how much you don't need him.
    • If he's in the same room as you, keep doing what you're doing. If you change your entire personality just to make the guy jealous, he'll be able to tell.
  3. If you want to make a guy jealous because you actually like him and want his attention, then know your limits. A little bit of flirtation and jealousy-making is fine, at first, but if you take it too far, then the guy may think you're not interested, not a nice person, or the kind of girl who gets with every guy. It can make him insecure, defensive, distrustful of you. [14]
    • Once you and the guy begin to make a real connection , you can minimize the jealousy antics.
    • If you do date the guy, you can still keep him on his toes, but there are better ways of doing so than making him jealous! If you want to start a relationship with the guy, then it has to be built on a foundation of trust, not doubt and suspicion.
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Section 4 of 4:

Alternatives to Making Him Jealous That Can Improve Your Relationship

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  1. Honest communication is a must have in a relationship. Have open and honest conversations about your thoughts and feelings in a calm tone and encourage him to do the same. Actively listen to gain a better understanding of his feelings and foster trust in your relationship. [15]
  2. Guys like to feel appreciated, too. Show him that you appreciate him by acknowledging the effort he puts into the relationship and the things that make him unique. Write a heartfelt note, get him small gifts you know he’d like, or say something like “I really appreciate how much effort you put into our relationship. You’re the best.” [16]
  3. This can look like asking him out on a date, playing that game you’ve both been talking about, figuring out how to navigate a foreign city together, or simply doing something you both enjoy. By doing things that you both like, you will show him how fun and loving you can be and avoid making him jealous to do so. [17]
  4. You may dedicate more and more time to him as you get deeper into a relationship, but it’s important to pour into yourself too. Show him how strong you two are as individuals by dedicating time to self-growth , pursuing common goals like improving your fitness or starting a new class together, and encourage him to do the same. [18]
  5. Sit with your partner and reflect on old memories and experiences that bring you both joy. Watch your wedding videos, go back to where you had your first date, take a trip to somewhere you've been together, or recreate a memorable date to bring back those good memories and remind your partner (and yourself) of how good things can be between you two. [19]
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      Tips

      • Don't let on that you're trying to make him jealous. If he suspects that the things you're doing might be aimed at making him jealous, your plan will backfire. If he asks if you're trying to make him jealous, act like you have no idea what he means.
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      • Always seem like you're having more fun without him. But not to the point where he doesn't have a chance to talk to you. Laughing, smiling, and just simply talking with others should make him jealous.
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      • If he asks you where you have been, say you were just out with a friend. This will make him suspicious and he will wonder who you were out with.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Make sure to talk to him naturally and normally sometimes. Try to avoid making him jealous every time you talk to him since he'll start to notice this pattern.
      • Don't go too far. Make sure you're still showing more interest in him than in the other guys.
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      Warnings

      • Sometimes, a man can feel unwanted, which may make him uninterested in you. Be careful not to go overboard.
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      • Remember, when you try to make a man jealous, you are playing a game. Be prepared for him to try and make you jealous. He may go out and spend time with female friends. This attempt might lead to cheating, causing pain for everyone.
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      • And yet there are some men who enjoy just the "chase," and will cease to be interested in you once he knows he doesn't have to worry about you leaving.
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      • Some guys might take this really badly and become violent, or leave you in the blink of an eye.
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      • While he's around or near you, flirt and touch other guys on the arm, bat your eyelashes, or whatever that you know will make him upset.
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      • Trying to make your partner jealous can make them feel insecure or inadequate, which could make them doubt their self-worth. They may seek constant validation, promoting toxicity in your relationship.
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      • Jealousy can break down the trust in your relationship and make your partner feel betrayed or deceived because of your actions.
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      • Some guys respond to jealousy by just giving up. If you're trying to get a guy interested in you by making him jealous, he might just decide you're not worth his trouble.
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      • Jealousy can cause people to become mean, obsessive, or even violent. Be very cautious about making a guy too jealous, especially if he seems to be taking it badly.
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      • If you know a guy has a tendency to be violent or abusive, you don't want to be involved with him, and you definitely should not try to make him jealous. If you ever feel threatened by anyone, steer clear of them and report any threats or stalking to police.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://people.com/archive/there-are-four-kinds-of-jealousy-says-an-expert-and-sexual-is-only-the-beginning-vol-14-no-14/
      2. ↑ https://dks.library.kent.edu/?a=d&d=dks20000127-01.2.41&e=-------en-20--1--txt-txIN-------
      3. ↑ https://babe.net/2017/11/22/how-to-make-guy-jealous-dating-22554
      4. ↑ https://www.bcu.ac.uk/blog/marketing/eleven-tips-to-build-a-social-media-presence
      5. ↑ https://wooingways.com/make-him-jealous-through-text/#text-other-people-in-front-of-him
      6. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860
      7. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a35102/things-women-do-that-make-guys-jealous/
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-relationships/201504/is-competition-between-men-healthy
      9. ↑ https://www.bolde.com/clever-ways-to-make-your-boyfriend-jealous-without-much-effort/
      1. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/signs-your-ex-regrets-dumping-you/#21_signs_your_ex_regrets_dumping_you_and_feels_miserable
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/jealousy
      3. ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Relationship Expert. Expert Interview. 29 May 2019.
      4. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
      5. ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/jealousy-in-a-relationship/
      6. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication#communicating-clearly-in-a-relationship
      7. ↑ https://extension.usu.edu/hru/blog/10-ways-to-express-your-love-to-your-significant-other
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201712/10-ways-to-show-your-partner-youre-in-love
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/202103/does-personal-growth-benefit-a-relationship
      10. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/how-to-rekindle-a-relationship#how-to-rekindle-love-in-a-relationship

      About This Article

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      The best way to make a guy jealous is to let him see you having a great time. Try talking or even flirting with other guys in front of him. Post pictures on social media to remind him you have fun without him. For more tricks to make a crush, boyfriend, or even an ex jealous, read on!

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