Q&A for How to Find the Right Lesbian Partner

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  • Question
    There is a person I work with who is making me have sex. I have to let her, but I don't want to do it. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Immediately alert your boss, human resources department, and/or the police. That is illegal, and you definitely don't have to do it, no matter what she tells you.
  • Question
    What is the best way to ask a girl out?
    Community Answer
    That depends on who you're asking. Some people don't want any fuss, so if she's that type, there is nothing wrong with just asking her directly. Others prefer more time to flirt and get to know each other. You'll have to use your powers of observation to decide which approach fits best.
  • Question
    I have a crush in a bi girl, and I am bi too. How do I ask her out?
    Community Answer
    Drop some subtle hints, flirt with her, and your best bet: simply ask her if she wants to go for coffee, a movie, etc!
  • Question
    I love this girl and we're together, but we have to keep it a secret from her parents. Is the relationship worth keeping?
    Moonmodule1998
    Top Answerer
    This is not uncommon for people in LGBT relationships. However, some LGBT people are uncomfortable with dating someone who's not out. If you feel you love her, then of course the relationship is worth keeping. But go in with the knowledge that keeping it secret can cause strain on a relationship.
  • Question
    Should I be straight or stay lesbian?
    Community Answer
    Be whatever you really are. Your sexuality is not a choice. If you're attracted to people of both genders, maybe you're bisexual. If you're only attracted to girls, then you're lesbian, and you can't really change that.
  • Question
    How do I know if she wants to take the relationship to the next level?
    Community Answer
    Just ask her. If you are dating, ask her if she's happy with how things are. If she isn't ready to move forward, don't push her. Also, if you're not ready, don't let her push you into anything.
  • Question
    I'm bisexual, how old should I be to have a girlfriend?
    Community Answer
    There is no "right" answer to this question. Whenever you feel ready is the right time.
  • Question
    My parents said lesbians go to hell. I still haven't come out. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    You make the decision about whether you want to be honest about where you are with your sexuality or not. If you choose to identify openly as a lesbian, be sure to begin your discussion with an acknowledgment of what your parents believe and how important it is to them. Then, respectfully share what you think and how you've come to this conclusion.
  • Question
    How do I get kids to stop picking on me in school because I'm a lesbian?
    Community Answer
    You can't. Kids always fixate on anything they perceive as "different." Just ignore them, or ask "why does it matter, to you?" After a while, when they see it doesn't bother you, the teasing will stop.
  • Question
    How do I know she likes me?
    Community Answer
    She will look at your lips, maybe brush fluff off your shoulder, or try to snuggle up to you.
  • Question
    I have a crush on a girl and I am a bi girl. How do I ask her out if she's straight?
    Community Answer
    You can strike up a conversation about sexuality and let her know you're bi. If she responds positively, you can ask her if she ever thought about being with a girl. Her answer will guide you toward your next move.
  • Question
    How to know if a girl is a lesbian without asking?
    Community Answer
    You can't, so just ask her! If things are awkward after because she isn't, then too bad. If she is, go for it.
  • Question
    I'm only 13, but I know I'm a lesbian and want a girlfriend. What should I do?
    InfoNinja
    Community Answer
    Ask around your school if there are any lesbian or bi girls. Gossip is likely to be the most sure fire way to find other girls that might date you.
  • Question
    Am I too young to be gay if I am 11 years old?
    Community Answer
    No, you are not too young to know if you are gay or not.
  • Question
    I am a lesbian with no partner. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Go to online dating websites, or go to a lesbian bar! It's not that hard to find lesbians on your area. Once you find one, ask her out!
  • Question
    I am a lesbian and I am HIV positive. Where can I meet a fellow lesbian like myself?
    Community Answer
    Look online for support and connections.
  • Question
    I watch porn videos and I like seeing girls naked. When I go out, I notice when girls are attractive, the same as with guys. Am I a lesbian?
    Community Answer
    If you also find boys attractive, you're probably bisexual, but you should feel free to identify however makes you most comfortable.
  • Question
    I just turned 13, and I'm in love with a girl. I'm sure is straight, but she's never had a boyfriend. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    There's a chance she's still figuring out her sexuality. You should tell her how you feel. Most likely the worst that can happen is she tells you she's not interested.
  • Question
    I'm 13, and I know I'm bi. I'm starting high school next year, and I want a girlfriend. How will I know if there are any lesbians at the school?
    Community Answer
    Honestly, LGBTQ people have a way of finding each other. If you're out at school, other LGBTQ kids will most likely befriend you, and your straight friends will introduce you to people they know who are gay/bi. If the school has a Gay Straight Alliance club, you should join it.
  • Question
    How do I know that my partner wants to have sex?
    Community Answer
    They will probably kiss you passionately and/or touch you intimately. They might begin taking their and/or your clothes off. Before going further, make sure you ask if they want to have sex. If the answer is a definite yes, then you can proceed.
  • Question
    I am bisexual and I have a girlfriend and a boyfriend. I don't know how to spend time with both of them at the same time. My girlfriend already has a boyfriend, while my boyfriend do not know I'm bisexual.
    Community Answer
    Honestly, I think it would be best to break it off with one of them. I understand you might love them both, but it can be unhealthy to be in two relationships at once, and it can be very difficult to avoid jealousy and hurt feelings.
  • Question
    I'm 12 and a lesbian. It's so hard to find other girls who like girls; not to date them, but to connect with them. I just want some lesbian friends. Any advice?
    Angelica F
    Community Answer
    Try finding some online! You might find some on places like Tumblr and LGBTQ forums. Also, make it clear to your IRL friends that you support the LGBTQ community, even if you're not out to them yet. Maybe one of them will have the courage to come out to you.
  • Question
    I'm gay, and I want to tell my best friend, but I need to know if she's okay with it first. How do I bring up the subject without being too weird or obvious?
    Community Answer
    Mention something regarding the LGBT community that you have seen (for example, "Hey, did you hear that Halsey is bisexual?"), then ask for her opinion!
  • Question
    I like this girl, she knows but I'm too afraid to tell her. Now we're both pretending as if nothing happened. What should I do? I don't want to lose her.
    Community Answer
    You have two options. Either sit down and tell her directly how you feel, or keep pretending like nothing happened and wait for your friendship to go back to normal (it will). If you're positive that she knows, and she's given you absolutely no signal that she feels the same way, it's pretty likely that she's not bringing it up because she's not interested and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. However, the only way to know for sure is to talk to her.
  • Question
    What should I do if I'm a young teen and I'm not sure if I'm bisexual or not?
    Community Answer
    Don't worry about it too much. It's perfectly normal to question your sexuality or be a little bit confused at your age. Most likely it will become more clear to you in time as you experience more crushes and begin dating people. You don't have to decide right now how you identify.
  • Question
    I am 18 years old and I've been dating this girl for 8 months. We had sex and I enjoyed it. Does that mean I'm a lesbian?
    Community Answer
    Not necessarily, you may be bisexual, or pansexual, or any other sexuality. You are ultimately the judge of how you define your own sexuality.
  • Question
    I'm 13 and bi. My best friend is a lesbian, and I want to ask her out. How do I do this?
    Community Answer
    Don't be nervous. Act confident even if you're not. As the saying goes, "Fake it 'til you make it." If you act confident enough, you'll feel confident. If she says no, don't make a big deal of it, just keep moving along. A good way to start the conversation is to pay her a compliment or two and see how she reacts. If she blushes and/or compliments you back, there's a good chance she likes you.
  • Question
    I'm bi, and I like this girl, but I don't know if she is into girls too. How can I find out?
    CrackerLab
    Community Answer
    If you're brave, just ask her. The worst she can do is say no. You could also try asking some of her friends about her sexuality or whether or not she is seeing anyone.
  • Question
    I want to have a girlfriend, but most of the people I know are straight or I'm not interested. I want to meet someone, but I'm not good at talking to new people. Any advice?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Luckily, you don't need a 100 partners - one will do. Imagine you're the last person on earth, safe at home, but there are lions in the streets. When you run out of food in the house, you'll have to risk it and find a way to the nearest supermarket - lions or not. Love is the same: at some point, your desire for love will be stronger than your fear to talk or fear of rejection. Then you'll get rejected, as we all do, and start again. But at some point you will find love, as we all do. In the meantime, make small-talk, keep your conversations short, enjoy life a little. Conversation with strangers becomes a lot easier the more you practice.
  • Question
    I'm a lesbian, but I like a pansexual girl, will that cause any problems?
    Community Answer
    It shouldn't. As long as she's open to dating girls, you should be fine. Her pansexuality shouldn't cause any issues (unless you don't approve of that for some reason).
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