Q&A for How to Uninvite Someone from a Party

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How do I univite some guests I know won't get along?

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.

Tami Claytor

Etiquette Coach

Expert Answer

I suggest you apologize and briefly explain why you need to uninvite them. You may also want to invite them out another time to show you still care about them. For example, you could say, "I'm so sorry for the cancelation, but I realized I invited too many people to dinner tomorrow. Would you like to get together next week instead?"

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Question

I invited four girls to my birthday party sleepover, but now I'm regretting inviting two of the girls. I want to uninvited them veary nicely. What should I do?

Community Answer

Either tell them that you can't do the sleepover on that date, or you could tell them that you aren't allowed to invite over everyone. If it's too late-notice, you may have to just keep the plans as they are; you can always have other sleepovers without them later!

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Question

Actually I have a friend who thinks that I've invited him at my party (as he heard I'm throwing one) and another friend said, "I'm coming" though I have no interest in inviting them (as they didn't invite me to theirs). So how can I uninvite them? Basically I need a reason which I can give.

Community Answer

Just say, "Sorry for any misunderstanding, but my party is only for a few people and I didn't invite you. You didn't invite me to your party, so it's only fair." Or something like that.

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Question

This girl who lives in our house is coming to a birthday party. What should I do to not make her come?

Community Answer

If you're trying to avoid hurting her feelings, try to distract her or do something to make her busy. You can maybe even say, "I'm sorry, but it's strictly family only." You could also consider just being upfront.

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What should I do if my parents don't like one of the girls I invited to my sleepover?

Community Answer

If your parents really don't want her to come, then you could tell her that your parents limited the number of people you were allowed to invite and offer to hang out with her another time. (Telling her that your parents just don't like her could hurt her feelings.)

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Question

I invited my crazy friend to Hawaii, and now I want a different friend to come. How do I uninvite her?

Community Answer

Your only options are to tell your friend that the trip is canceled and hope she doesn't hear about you inviting someone else, or just telling her (as politely as possible) that you don't want her to come with you.

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Question

A girl is coming to a big party we are throwing, but we don't want her to come because she wouldn't want to play any of our games. How can we kindly get her not to come without hurting her feelings?

Community Answer

It is better off telling your friend the truth. The truth is going to hurt her, but at the end, it is better knowing from you than finding out through someone else saying it to her.

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Question

My cousin is throwing a party and she let me invite a friend so that's what I did, but now I'm regretting it. What should I do?

Hannah Madden

Community Answer

Tell your friend that your cousin changed her mind. You can say that it's actually a small party for close friends and family members and she doesn't have room for one more. Then, make plans to hang out with your friend later on.

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Question

I invited one of my friends to a family trip a few months ago but we aren't really friends anymore. I want to uninvite her but I don't want to ruin what's left of our friendship. What should I do?

Hannah Madden

Community Answer

Reach out and ask to talk about your friendship. If there's drama between you two, it's best to talk it out before the family trip. After you talk, you can either uninvite her (because you're not friends anymore) or you can ask her if she still wants to come (if you rekindle your friendship).

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Question

My mom invited her friend’s daughter to my birthday dinner with my friends. How do I get her not to come?

Hannah Madden

Community Answer

You can ask your mom to tell her friend's daughter that it's actually a small event for close friends only. You could also reach out to the person and tell her that while you can't have her there for your birthday dinner, you two can make plans to hang out later on in the week.

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Question

I invited an extra girl to my birthday party, and now I regret it. I am thinking of making up an excuse such as budget issues, change the time, or say there was an error in paying. Should I do it?

Cutefluffybunny

Community Answer

Here are some things you can do: 1.(if you are not really friends) Say “Hi (insert name) I’m sorry but I decided to have a smaller party (even if you didn’t) so I’m sorry but I’m gonna politely ask you not to attend my party..” 2. (If your are acquaintances) say “Hi I’m sorry but I’ve decided this party is for close friends only” 3. (If your are friends ) say ”Look, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but I don’t really want you at my party I feel really bad you know.” 😜

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