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Feeling emotion is part of being human. Although you have to feel negative emotions sometimes, you don’t have to allow them control of your life. Even negative emotions have their place as a survival mechanism. Learn how to cope with negative emotions in the moment by refocusing your attention and getting out of your head. Train yourself to break negative thinking patterns to improve your mood long-term. Finally, learn a few techniques to help you accept and understand negative emotions when they occur.
Steps
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Do an intense physical activity. Releasing negative emotions can be done just as effectively with your body as with your mind. If you are hung up on bad vibes, take a timeout and get active. Exercise is naturally good for you at any time. Right now, however, it can provide an outlet for negative feelings and promote a more positive mood state through the generation of feel-good chemicals, called endorphins.
- Participate in some type of activity that fully engages your body and allows you to blow off steam, such as running, boxing, swimming, or contact sports. Even a 30-minute walk can offer you a much-needed emotional lift. [1] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
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Take a nap. Being chronically stressed by negative emotions can place your body in “fight or flight” mode, in which you are primed for action around-the-clock. If you have been fighting negative feelings for some time, you may be racking your brain about what to do or thinking nonstop about what is going wrong. Doing this for a prolonged period of time can cause mental fatigue. [2] X Research source Fatigue can worsen negative emotions or hinder your ability to cope with them in a positive way. Taking a nap can reduce stress by allowing your brain and body to rest and reset. [3] X Research source
- Planning a short nap of approximately 20-30 minutes can help you combat any mental fatigue you may feel. When you wake, you may feel more capable of dealing with negative feelings as short naps can improve alertness and performance. [4] X Research source
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Use creativity. Another way to release negative emotions is through artistic pursuits. With art, you can get out of your head temporarily and channel those feelings into a positive activity. Make a sculpture. Develop a fictional story. Grab some paints, crayons, or markers and create a picture. Direct your feelings into the lyrics of a new song. Turn on some music and express your feelings through dance.
- Art allows you to use potentially destructive emotions for a constructive purpose. Such activities can minimize stress and anxiety, and even allow you to find meaning in your emotional pain.
- If you aren’t particularly artistic, pick up an adult coloring book and some colored pencils. Coloring doesn’t require a lot of skill, but it provides many of the same stress-busting benefits as other forms of creativity. [5] X Research source
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Spend time with close family or friends. A great way to get out of your head when you’re bothered by negative emotions is to hang with people who care about you. Friends and family who are understanding and supportive can help you to cope with and resolve painful feelings. Negative emotions are a necessary part of life, and they often allow us to grow and become stronger. [6] X Research source Still, that doesn’t mean you have to carry the burden on your own.
- Turn to someone you trust and explain the emotions you are experiencing. [7] X Research source Ask for distraction, consolation, or guidance as to how you should cope. Whatever you need, let your loved one give it to you.
EXPERT TIPLicensed PsychotherapistLauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.Expressing emotions can feel risky. We may hold back to avoid getting hurt, but understand that real connections require vulnerability. Whenever possible, choose to share your feelings instead of hiding behind fear.
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Avoid dwelling on your problems. Sometimes, when you feel bad, you may think about an upsetting situation over and over again, a concept referred to as rumination. Perhaps you tell yourself that you are trying to understand it better. Nevertheless, all this does is make you feel worse. Try not to blow things out of proportion by constantly dwelling on your negative feelings. If you find yourself ruminating, try one of the following techniques: [8] X Research source
- Schedule a worry period of 20-30 minutes every day. During this time period, you are allowed to think about what’s going wrong. After the time passes, push these concerns away and remind yourself that you have to wait until the next window.
- Try to identify what’s behind the rumination. For example, if you keep thinking about something your boss said to you at work, ask yourself why it is bothering you so much. Are you worried about your work performance?
- Identify the worst-case scenario, and ask yourself if you can handle it. Knowing how you would deal with the worst that can happen can help you feel more confident and let go of what’s bothering you.
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Problem-solve the issue. If you are experiencing a negative emotion, the emotion probably has some underlying cause. If you want to shift the way you are thinking and feeling, you must take action against the problem that is causing the feeling. This type of coping is useful when you have some control over the situation, such as problems at school, work, or in your relationships. [9] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source
- For example, maybe you are highly stressed because you are failing your mathematics course. A good way to resolve your negative feelings is to brainstorm what actions you can take to resolve the situation and/or improve how you feel about it.
- You may be able to get a tutor, ask the instructor for extra assignments or additional study tools, or, if it is simply bad timing, you may be able to drop the course and take it again later. Think of all the possible avenues you can take and then map out a plan.
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Challenge negative and irrational thinking. The way you view certain circumstances can have a huge impact on your emotional state. It’s easy to fall into the trap of irrational or catastrophic thinking. Take a moment to think about how you are reacting to a situation, and try to identify and challenge irrational thoughts or beliefs that may be affecting your mood. [10] X Research source
- For example, say you are upset because you believe your girlfriend is about to break up with you. You don’t have solid facts, just a hunch. You can overcome negative feelings and resolve the situation by asking yourself some questions, such as: [11]
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Research source
- What evidence do I have that this is true? What evidence do I have that this is not true?
- Is there another way to interpret this situation?
- Have I confused a belief or opinion with a fact?
- If it did happen, what could I do to cope or handle the situation?
- What would a friend say about my thought?
- For example, say you are upset because you believe your girlfriend is about to break up with you. You don’t have solid facts, just a hunch. You can overcome negative feelings and resolve the situation by asking yourself some questions, such as: [11]
X
Research source
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Replace negative thoughts with more realistic ones. Frequently, you may feel trapped in negative mood states due to the words you are repeating in your head. Changing your self-talk, therefore, can also change the way you feel. The next time you notice one of those negative self-talk “tapes” playing in your head, make a conscious effort to replace the negative thought with something more realistic and hopeful. [12] X Research source
- For example, you may find yourself thinking, “I’m a terrible dancer. I’ll never be good at this.” Instead, tell yourself, “If I keep practicing, my dancing will improve.”
- When you’re used to thinking negatively, it’s easier for your brain to accept neutral thoughts than excessively positive ones. Instead of telling yourself, “I am the best dancer ever,” try something like “I’m still learning, and that’s okay.”
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Explore your feelings through mindful meditation . Mindful meditation is a technique that allows you to focus on the moment and become more aware of what you are feeling. Take a few minutes to sit in a quiet, comfortable place. Close your eyes and breathe deeply , allowing yourself to feel and acknowledge your emotions and bodily sensations. Don’t judge or analyze what you feel—simply make note of it and let it be. [13] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- For example, you might think to yourself, “I am feeling anxious. My shoulders are a little tense. I feel full from lunch.”
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Do a body scan to identify areas where you are holding tension. The body scan is a form of meditation that relieves physical and emotional tension by helping you become more attuned to your body. [14] X Research source Go into a quiet room or space where you can sit or lie down for several minutes without distractions. Take a few deep, cleansing breaths. Focus on the different parts of your body, paying attention to how your muscles feel and what sensations you are experiencing there. Focus on relaxing each muscle as you go. [15] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good in Action An initiative by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center promoting science-based practices for a meaningful life Go to source
- If your mind starts to wander from this task, return your attention to the given body part as soon as possible.
- Certain sensations you get in your body can clue you in on your emotional state. Right now, you are not trying to change anything, but merely bring awareness to how different parts of your body feel.
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Tune in to your physical feelings and their relation to your emotions. Learning to identify your emotions is central to gaining acceptance of them. When you are experiencing an emotion, physical and mental responses may come along with it. For example, fear may come with heightened sensations in your face and arms, in addition to shortness of breath and clenched muscles. Happiness may come with electric tingles that radiate throughout the body in addition to a feeling of lightness or buoyancy. [16] X Trustworthy Source Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Official peer-reviewed and multidisciplary journal for the National Academy of Sciences. Go to source You can learn how to identify these emotions by tuning in to your body through meditation.
- Breathe deeply and try to relax your body and mind. Once your thoughts begin to slow down, ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now?"
- Try to pinpoint where in your body the emotion is being expressed. What color would you give this emotion? What name? Start by trying to label what you are feeling from the four basic categories: mad, happy, afraid, or sad. [17] X Research source
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Try Somatic Experiencing therapy to deal with trauma-related stress. Somatic Experiencing (SE) therapy is also a good way to get in touch with the way your body reacts to negative emotions. This therapy focuses on helping patients become aware of their physical reactions to negative emotions and discover new coping strategies.
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Perform a letting go ritual. It can be incredibly therapeutic to release negative emotions by engaging in symbolic rituals. Such actions give a tangible, physical presence to intangible, emotional experiences. There are many ways you can release emotion through ritual. [18] X Research source For example:
- Buy some window crayons and write out words or phrases on the shower tiles as you bathe. You might cry or express your emotion during your shower. As you finish, the words will have started to wash away. You may have to rub them a bit, but, in general, once you have finished cleaning your body, you have also cleansed yourself of those painful emotions.
- Write a letter—to yourself or to someone else who hurt you. Write down all your thoughts, feelings, and any actions you have wanted to take. Once you are done, read over the letter. Then, use a match to burn the letter. Spread the ashes in the wind, or flush them down the toilet.
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Tips
- It’s understandable to want to be alone when you are having negative feelings. But don't shut out the people who love you. Your friends and family care about you and would like to help. Lean on them during this painful time in your life. Shared grief is much less painful.Thanks
- Remember that negative mood states are an essential part of life, just like positive ones. The feeling will eventually pass. If you try to resist these negative emotions, they may claim an even bigger hold on your life.Thanks
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Warnings
- Never turn to alcohol, drugs, unsafe sex, or other risk-taking behaviors when you are experiencing negative emotions. These activities may allow you to temporarily take your mind off your feelings, but, oftentimes, they result in negative outcomes that further complicate a bad situation. Call a doctor or therapist if you have been using any of these activities to cope.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/exercise/art-20048389
- ↑ https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/248002.php
- ↑ https://www.medicaldaily.com/health-benefits-napping-resting-can-help-reduce-stress-and-protect-immune-system-321580
- ↑ https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/napping
- ↑ https://www.cnn.com/2016/01/06/health/adult-coloring-books-popularity-mental-health/index.html
- ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/negative-emotions-key-well-being/
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/negative-emotions
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/tips-to-help-stop-ruminating
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/stress-management.html
- ↑ https://www.rebtnetwork.org/library/ideas.html
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/answer-your-irrational-thoughts/
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/melodywilding/2016/08/15/forget-positive-thinking-this-is-how-you-actually-change-negative-thoughts/#225e44a6c462
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858
- ↑ https://www.mindful.org/the-body-scan-practice/
- ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/body_scan_meditation#data-tab-how
- ↑ https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.1321664111
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/02/new-research-says-there-are-only-four-emotions/283560/
- ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/release-negative-feelings-3-ways-to-watch-them-disappear/
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