Flirty or Friendly? 12 Signs Your Coworker Might Actually Be Flirting with You

Co-authored by John Keegan and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: March 21, 2024

Since you’re around your coworkers so much, you often build up a fun rapport with most of them. But differentiating between them being nice and them being flirty can be tough, especially in the workplace. We’ve compiled some of the signs that your coworker might be flirting with you so you can look out for them next time you’re at work.

1

They always take a lunch break with you.

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They might even do it when it’s inconvenient for themselves. If you notice that your coworker always makes it a priority to take breaks with you, they probably like you a little more than as a friend . This is especially true if they offer to take you out or buy you lunch a lot, too. ^{[1]
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Research source}
- There’s a reason your coworker likes talking to you when you’re not working! It’s easier to chat and make conversation when you both aren’t busy.

2

They always stop by for a chat.

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Maybe they go out of their way to stop and say hi. If your coworker walks over to where you are a lot to strike up a conversation, there’s a good chance they’re flirting with you. ^{[2]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} However, if they just like to chat with everyone, you might see them talking to your other coworkers just as much. ^{[3]
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Research source}
- For instance, maybe you work on the third floor and your coworker works on the fourth floor. If they’re constantly coming downstairs, they probably just want to see you.

3

They compliment you, but no one else.

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Your coworker might compliment you on your outfit or your work ethic. If you notice that they tend to reserve compliments for you and you alone, they probably have a little crush on you . ^{[4]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} Keep in mind, though, that if they compliment everyone, they might just be a nice person.
- Pay attention to how your coworker acts around other people. If you see a difference between your interactions and everyone else’s, that’s a big sign that they like you.

4

They catch your eye often.

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They might glance at you during meetings or slow times at work. When you make eye contact with them, they’ll probably smile or even give you a little wave. ^{[5]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} This is a huge indication that they’re flirting with you, not just being friendly. ^{[6]
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Research source}
- Someone who didn’t mean to catch your eye will probably glance away quickly or look down at the floor.

5

They lean in toward you when you chat.

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Leaning in while talking is a huge indicator of attraction . If you find that your coworker often stands closer to you than they do to other people, they’re probably trying to flirt with you. If you want to flirt back , you can lean in close to match their body language. ^{[7]
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- Keep in mind that different people from different cultures have different ideas about personal space. If you aren’t sure, watch how close your coworker stands to other people when they chat.

6

They text you outside of work hours.

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If they don’t have your number, they might email you instead. They might even message you on Slack or Teams. This is an excuse to talk to you outside of work, and it usually means that they like you. ^{[8]
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- The conversation might start out work-related, but it will probably evolve into a normal conversation eventually.

7

They seem jealous of your romantic endeavors.

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They might act moody or upset if you say you have a date. If you’re telling people at your workplace about your love life, your coworker might seem extra invested. This is probably because they have feelings for you, but they just don’t know how to say it. ^{[9]
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- On the flip side, they might actually encourage you to go out on dates with other people. This probably means that they’re nervous or they have mixed feelings about their crush on you.

8

They always give you attention in group settings.

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They probably face their body toward yours, too. ^{[10]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} If you’re standing with a group of coworkers, the one who’s trying to flirt with you will probably ask you questions or laugh a little too hard at your jokes. If you aren’t sure whether or not it’s happening, ask your other coworkers—they’ve probably picked up on it. ^{[11]
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Research source}
- They might also try to pull you aside to have a private conversation instead of participating in the group.

9

They touch you on the arm or shoulder.

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This is a classic flirting technique. Breaking the touch barrier by patting someone on the arm or the back is a great way to tell that someone is interested in you. This is especially true if your coworker isn’t touchy-feely with anyone else at your workplace. ^{[12]
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- Some people do tend to be more touchy-feely. If your coworker gives people hugs or touches them a lot, they might not be into you.

10

They keep the conversation going.

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This means that they really enjoy being around you. If the conversation comes to a natural stopping point, your coworker will probably throw out a new topic really quickly. They might not want the conversation to end, so you could find yourself chatting with them for much longer than you were expecting to. ^{[13]
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- Your coworker also might just be a chatty person, in which case they probably do that to everyone. However, if it’s only you, then they’re probably flirting.

11

They ask if you’re going to work functions.

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They might even say they won’t go if you don’t. When they ask, it means they probably want to see you outside of normal work hours. If you say that you are going, they might get super excited and say they can’t wait to spend more time with you. ^{[14]
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- For example, your coworker might check in to see if you’re going to the work holiday party or not. If you can’t make it, they’ll probably act sad or disappointed.

12

They’ve created an inside joke with you.

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This is especially true if they don’t usually joke around. If something funny happened at work and your coworker is constantly talking about it, they’re probably trying to form a connection with you. ^{[15]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} They might bring it up pretty often, even when it doesn’t really seem relevant. ^{[16]
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Research source}
- If your coworker is a silly or goofy person, this might not mean that they’re into you.

Examples of What to Say if a Coworker is Flirting with You and You'd Like Them to Stop

Sample Examples of What to Say if a Coworker is Flirting with You

Join the Discussion...

How do you tell if someone's being flirty or friendly?

39

WikiCaveWatcher554

Hey everyone! I would really love some help figuring out how to tell if someone is flirting with me, especially when it comes to reading body lan... Read More

4

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Examples of flirting would be lots of eye contact and smiling, being curious about your relationship status, and specifically asking to do someth... Read More

3

WikiGladeLeaper631

Totally agree with all of that. Also, ask yourself these two questions: are they going out of their way to be flirty/friendly/interact with you?... Read More

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If you don’t like your coworker’s flirting, you can ignore it for now. If it keeps happening, talk to your boss or supervisor about it.

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Flirty or Friendly? 12 Signs Your Coworker Might Actually Be Flirting with You

Steps

They always take a lunch break with you.

They always stop by for a chat.

They compliment you, but no one else.

They catch your eye often.

They lean in toward you when you chat.

They text you outside of work hours.

They seem jealous of your romantic endeavors.

They always give you attention in group settings.

They touch you on the arm or shoulder.

They keep the conversation going.

They ask if you’re going to work functions.

They’ve created an inside joke with you.

Examples of What to Say if a Coworker is Flirting with You and You'd Like Them to Stop

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