Why Do Women Like Ambitious Guys? (Plus, How to Show Your Ambition)

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Show your date that you’ve got the drive
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There are lots of different things girls look for in a guy—smarts, humor, a nice smile, and, maybe more than those other qualities, ambition. Ambition means a lot of things, from career goals to long-term plans for life, but no matter what form it takes, girls tend to pick the guys who have it. Why is that? And how can you show your own ambition? We’ll give you the top 10 reasons why girls like guys with goals and offer plenty of tips for how you can show her that you’re one of those guys.

Things You Should Know

  • Girls tend to like guys with ambition because they’re more likely to provide for them. Men with goals are also often interesting, passionate, and reliable.
  • Show her that you’ve got ambition by talking about your own interests and goals, and what you’re doing right now to achieve them.
  • Remember that girls also like guys who admire their own ambition. Ask her plenty of questions about her own dreams or goals to help you get closer.
1

Ambitious men are likely to provide.

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  1. It’s not exactly a secret that professional success is attractive. [1] Professional success often comes with financial success, and many value having a partner who can support them financially. Even if a man isn’t successful now, his ambition suggests that he’s aiming to be successful later, which is a bet many women are willing to take.
    • How to show it: On that first date, go ahead and mention your long-term goals to let her know that you’ve got plans. Also, tell her how you’re working toward them now, even if they’re small steps. It’s an easy conversation starter, and she’ll be impressed by your forward thinking.
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2

Men with ambition are interesting.

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  1. This kind of guy is always thinking about the next step, and he prefers productive, hard-hitting conversations over small talk. But just because he’s got his mind set on his goals doesn’t mean he can’t have fun every now and then, too. [2] In fact, he tends to know that time off is just as important as work, so he takes full advantage of it.
    • How to show it: Small talk has its place, but don’t wait too long to steer conversation during a date to more profound questions, like, “What are you working toward right now?” or, “What motivates you?” She’ll know right away that you’re thinking for the long-term.
3

Ambitious guys have plenty of confidence.

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  1. Confidence is key, and a guy who’s confident probably isn’t also insecure. A self-assured guy knows who he is, and knows he doesn’t have to compete. On top of that, confident people are more likely to praise others, too, which is hard to resist in a partner. [3]
    • How to show it: Show your confidence by smiling often, which shows her that you’re comfortable. Also, maintain eye contact and sit up straight, 2 key signs of someone who’s comfortable and alert.
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4

Women like the passion that comes with ambition.

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  1. Passion is attractive, plain and simple, especially when that passion translates to professional drive. [4] It shows that a guy can commit himself to something, which also means he’ll be able to commit to a relationship. The ability to commit is a huge green flag—it tells a girl that she’s not just wasting her time on someone who’ll bail later.
    • How to show it: Go ahead and talk about your passions around her! People love hearing others talk about what gets them out of bed in the morning, and it signals that you’re a person with depth and dimension. Just be sure to ask her about her own passions, too.
    EXPERT TIP

    Chloe Carmichael, PhD

    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
    Chloe Carmichael, PhD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist

    Ambition signals interest in growth and zest for life. An ambitious personality often connects to a broader optimism and hunger for living fully. Partners with drive and grit typically contribute contagious excitement along with supportive energy to grow. Beyond personal achievements, these traits confer a desire to enrich the fabric of relationships and the world through concerted effort.

5

Ambitious guys are low maintenance.

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  1. They’ve got aspirations, and a lifetime of chasing those aspirations has taught them to be independent and resourceful, but also how to take it slow when they need to. [5] Clinginess and codependence aren’t the best look, but independence in a relationship is a huge plus, and it tells the girl that she won’t have to come running to help her guy at the first sign of trouble.
    • How to show it: To show her you’re low maintenance, make yourself available—respond to texts and messages—but try not to hit her up too often. Enthusiasm is great, but too much enthusiasm might be interpreted as desperation.
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6

Men with goals take initiative.

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  1. After all, they know that making the first move is the key to reaching their goals. And girls love that initiative! When a guy makes a point to plan the date , ask the girl where she wants to go or what she wants to do, and just generally what she likes, she knows that he’s an active and attentive partner, and that he could be the one. [6]
    • How to show it: Don’t be afraid to start a conversation with the girl you like. Whether it’s on a dating app or in real life, making that first move broadcasts your confidence. Even something as simple as, “How’s your day going?” shows interest and initiative.
7

Ambitious guys get a thumbs up from her social circle.

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  1. A relationship is more than 2 people. For better or worse, her friends and family are going to tell her what she thinks of her romantic partners, and she’ll be listening. [7] If a guy shows that he’s driven and resourceful, her social network is more likely to give her the go-ahead, which is a huge advantage.
    • How to show it: Her friends might be looking at your social media, if you have it, so make sure your profile looks good. Include plenty of images of you doing what you love or posts discussing your interests and goals.
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8

Ambitious guys are good problem solvers.

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  1. Accomplishments don’t come for free, and an ambitious man has had his fair share of setbacks. But he knows how to adjust and push forward to achieve his aims. [8] Girls know that problem solving translates to a relationship, where the guy will be able to negotiate romantic problems with a level head, which makes for an even stronger connection.
    • How to show it: If you’re comfortable, try asking her for advice about some small problem you’re having. It shows her that you’re not only vulnerable, but that you’re willing to communicate effectively in order to solve your problems, which is a major green flag.
9

Men with aspirations are always growing.

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  1. When an ambitious guy realizes his goal, he doesn’t stop there—his ambition tells him to keep going, so he takes on even tougher challenges. [9] This means he’s constantly growing and evolving as a person, which makes for engaging and exciting relationship material.
    • How to show it: Keep her updated on your interests and pursuits every now and then. Showing her that you’ve always got a new aim makes you a more compelling potential partner.
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10

Ambitious men are good matches for ambitious women.

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  1. Women have ambition too, of course. But when an ambitious woman is paired with a man who doesn’t also aspire for bigger and better things, or tends to rest on his laurels, he can become more of an anchor than a source of inspiration. Many women want someone who’ll push and motivate them to grow. [10]
    • How to show it: Let her know that you’re up to the task by giving her some compliments on her personality, which shows that you’re comfortable with her own ambitions, and that you want to help her realize them.

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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/202010/how-to-make-yourself-more-attractive
      2. ↑ https://www.indiatimes.com/lifestyle/self/13-things-you-ll-love-and-hate-about-dating-an-ambitious-person-255178.html
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201310/does-everyone-find-confidence-attractive
      4. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmajohnson/2015/06/26/can-a-brilliant-ambitious-man-with-a-modest-income-be-attractive-to-successful-women/?sh=6e8e1b1d1c93
      5. ↑ https://www.indiatimes.com/lifestyle/self/13-things-you-ll-love-and-hate-about-dating-an-ambitious-person-255178.html
      6. ↑ https://www.essence.com/love/relationships/15-women-give-their-best-dating-advice-men-change/#101102
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-you-us/201503/why-your-friends-approval-is-so-crucial-relationship
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199209/ambition
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199209/ambition
      1. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/melodywilding/2018/06/13/should-you-date-a-less-ambitious-person-a-relationship-expert-weighs-in/?sh=7381e5d455ce

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