Why Do Women Like Ambitious Guys? (Plus, How to Show Your Ambition)

Show your date that you’ve got the drive

Co-authored by John Keegan and Luke Smith, MFA

Last Updated: February 16, 2024 Fact Checked

There are lots of different things girls look for in a guy—smarts, humor, a nice smile, and, maybe more than those other qualities, ambition. Ambition means a lot of things, from career goals to long-term plans for life, but no matter what form it takes, girls tend to pick the guys who have it. Why is that? And how can you show your own ambition? We’ll give you the top 10 reasons why girls like guys with goals and offer plenty of tips for how you can show her that you’re one of those guys.

Things You Should Know

Girls tend to like guys with ambition because they’re more likely to provide for them. Men with goals are also often interesting, passionate, and reliable.
Show her that you’ve got ambition by talking about your own interests and goals, and what you’re doing right now to achieve them.
Remember that girls also like guys who admire their own ambition. Ask her plenty of questions about her own dreams or goals to help you get closer.

1

Ambitious men are likely to provide.

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Girls gravitate toward successful or wealthy men. It’s not exactly a secret that professional success is attractive. ^{[1]
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Research source} Professional success often comes with financial success, and many value having a partner who can support them financially. Even if a man isn’t successful now, his ambition suggests that he’s aiming to be successful later, which is a bet many women are willing to take.
- How to show it: On that first date, go ahead and mention your long-term goals to let her know that you’ve got plans. Also, tell her how you’re working toward them now, even if they’re small steps. It’s an easy conversation starter, and she’ll be impressed by your forward thinking.

2

Men with ambition are interesting.

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There’s never a dull moment with a guy who has goals. This kind of guy is always thinking about the next step, and he prefers productive, hard-hitting conversations over small talk. But just because he’s got his mind set on his goals doesn’t mean he can’t have fun every now and then, too. ^{[2]
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Research source} In fact, he tends to know that time off is just as important as work, so he takes full advantage of it.
- How to show it: Small talk has its place, but don’t wait too long to steer conversation during a date to more profound questions, like, “What are you working toward right now?” or, “What motivates you?” She’ll know right away that you’re thinking for the long-term.

3

Ambitious guys have plenty of confidence.

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They know what they want and how to get it, which is attractive. Confidence is key, and a guy who’s confident probably isn’t also insecure. A self-assured guy knows who he is, and knows he doesn’t have to compete. On top of that, confident people are more likely to praise others, too, which is hard to resist in a partner. ^{[3]
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Research source}
- How to show it: Show your confidence by smiling often, which shows her that you’re comfortable. Also, maintain eye contact and sit up straight, 2 key signs of someone who’s comfortable and alert.

4

Women like the passion that comes with ambition.

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Ambitious guys tend to be enthusiastic about relationships. Passion is attractive, plain and simple, especially when that passion translates to professional drive. ^{[4]
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Research source} It shows that a guy can commit himself to something, which also means he’ll be able to commit to a relationship. The ability to commit is a huge green flag—it tells a girl that she’s not just wasting her time on someone who’ll bail later.
- How to show it: Go ahead and talk about your passions around her! People love hearing others talk about what gets them out of bed in the morning, and it signals that you’re a person with depth and dimension. Just be sure to ask her about her own passions, too.
EXPERT TIP

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Ambition signals interest in growth and zest for life. An ambitious personality often connects to a broader optimism and hunger for living fully. Partners with drive and grit typically contribute contagious excitement along with supportive energy to grow. Beyond personal achievements, these traits confer a desire to enrich the fabric of relationships and the world through concerted effort.