I have been dealing with this paranoia for quite a long time. Two weeks ago, I saw my father in a new year’s dating service I attended to. Though he didn’t see me at all, I saw him clearly. He was enjoying chatting women with my age. At first, I thought the body figure was just familiar. Little did I know I would see my father there— a married man with a gorgeous wife. I didn’t want to think he’s cheating with my mom but what could have it been? I did not bother ask him why because it might lose my temper. I honestly want to ask him why but I’m afraid my Mom would know about it. I don’t want her to get hurt but she deserves to know. How should I tell her? Help!
She certainly does deserve to know.
My suggestion would be to simply tell her what you have seen. Don’t tell her what you suspect yet, let her draw her own conclusions. Ask her about it. Sit down and have a talk about how you feel etc.
I’m afraid I don’t have any other ideas :- Hope what I said helps in some way!
Good luck! Sounds like you have a sticky situation on your hands.
While telling would be considered the morally right thing to do if there was clearly an affair, it’s not always the best choice of action. Relationships are complicated and telling someone about their partner having an affair, especially with no solid evidence that there actually is an affair going on, can result in straining the relationships of all the parties involved. It could be quite tense between you and your parents for a long time, especially if your mother doesn’t believe you.
If your dad wouldn’t become violent or verbally abusive towards you, @Mycheatingdad
, then it might be in your better interests to ask him directly what was going on. But seeing him talking with other women really isn’t conclusive of anything - unless there was clearly flirting or suspicious activities (like kissing or sexual activities), then it’s entirely possible he may have just been talking with the women and nothing more. It’s hard to draw a conclusion because we don’t know your family and can’t judge why he would have been there.
It’s also possible your parents have agreed on allowing multiple partners; some couples decide to try open relationships for whatever reason. Especially if you don’t live with your parents anymore, they may have mutually decided to loosen their relationship a bit. I don’t know your parents’ relationship, though, so I can’t confirm what they would do.
If I were in your situation, I’d talk to Dad first and try and figure it out, even if you’re upset (though yelling would not be smart since he may just yell back). Reading through How to Detect Lies
might be a good idea if you suspect he wouldn’t be honest about what happened. But there’s no real way of knowing what happened and I’d really be wary of rushing to tell your mother just because there could be unintended backlash.
Good luck. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that it turns out okay, regardless of the situation!
If you feel like you may get hurt for alerting your mom, alert authorities. Adultery (cheating by having sex with another person) is illegal in the US (weird right?) and is a jail punished offense. If you feel unsafe telling your mom, tell her IMMIEDIETLY.
Yes, I have to talk to him. My parents are still living in the same roof and still care for each other. My biggest question is, why did he attend in that dating service which is supposedly for single men only? If he can answer that, my mind can rest a bit. Thanks for the insights.
I’m glad they were helpful! Good luck!
Anna
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This thread was started by a malicious sockpuppet. I’m closing it to avoid confusion or wasted time by good-faith forum participants.
