When I was fifteen, my Dad got remarried with a foreign woman she met during wife tours. She seemed fine so I agreed with the idea. Little did I know, she has been hiding a backbone in her closet the whole time. I have witnessed my Dad striving hard so he can give me, my brother and my stepmom a better life. And here comes my stepmom, spending every dollar she can, without considering my Dad’s hard work. She has become shopaholic. She has been buying useless stuffs. I really thought she’s mom-material, but she’s not. One time, I heard her arguing with my Dad because of money. My Dad stopped giving her money for that reason and she was making a fuss about it. She’s giving my Dad hard time. I really don’t like her. What should I do with her?
You’re in a delicate situation as it’s your dad’s problem. It’s good he cut back on giving her money. Does she earn any money herself for her shopping sprees? Did stepmom enter marriage with any of her own assets? Your dad needs to be firm with her to stay within what he can reasonably spend/afford. Is your dad able to confide in you?
Well for one. If she married him only for his money. That is called gold digging. It is very wrong to do. I recommend reading about how to confront her. Then band the rest of your family together and set up an intervention.
I’m so sorry for your unfortunate situation!
Have you talked to your stepmom about it? Also, have you talked to your dad about it and perhaps formulated a plan?
Those are my suggestions. I know they aren’t very good, but I hope they help!
Best of luck
@MatheusG
We don’t know for sure if she just married him for his money :- It’s likely, but not for sure
My stepmom doesn’t have her own job and she’s just depending on the money Dad gives her.
Thanks for this suggestion.
Thanks for this! Dad and I have already talked about this matter but it seems so hard for us to confront my stepmom. She is a lionness.
If you both have talked over it that means that he has a problem as well. Living in such a bitter situation is not good for self growth and peace of mind. Clearly you all are feeling miserable. Since she is the stronger types, it will be difficult to change her immediately. Such people tend to be sensitive ironically. The eay you address her shows that she means nothing to you. Now, it depends what your father gets from her. He must have ‘married’ her for some reason. Find out if it was a selfish reason. Mostly, not always, if the beginning is done selfishly or meaninglessly, it teaches you a lesson. Would they be willing to separate/ divorce? Was she mean to you? Is she okay with you? If she cares, you need to acknowledge that bit. Be patient with her. Usually at the end of things you must be considerate and allow ‘smiles’ and forgive as much as you can. Does she not value your and your fathers needs? If she doesnt, thats extreme. If she cares somewhat, may be she isfine except has made judgements about her life, husband and step child. Excessive shopping is a mental condition in some cases. Dont keep judging anyone. Try to separate. If not, make peace with flaws. Nudge her into working. Inspire her. Bring out her talents, job opportunities after acting mild a few days. Such people may jump to other partners if they progress in life. Not saying it applies to her. Just my observation. Im sorry if something i wrote felt bad. Hope you all unite for the sake humanity.
This same thread has been crossposted to multiple sites. ( Here
.) We’re getting a lot of threads like this lately, but they all seem to have a pattern of singling out foreigners or people of different cultures. It comes across like a vaguely racist spam ring.
Anna
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This thread was started by a malicious sockpuppet. I’m closing it to avoid confusion or wasted time by good-faith forum participants.