Basic pointers how to dirty talk?
I (m33) have been with my gf (f34) for 2 years now. We both want to spice things up in the bedroom a little more with some dirty talk, but neither of us has much experience with it and it feels pretty unnatural so far. Is it possible to get better at it? Is it supposed to get fun and feel less awkward/strange at some point? Any tips welcome.
View hidden comment
Expert Comments
Some great responses and I'll echo some of them! Dirty talk is like learning how to ride a bike as an adult, you might feel awkward (and a little silly) as you wobble and keep falling off in front of other people. But over time, you start to feel more natural and comfortable with it.
Trying new things can be a great way to add spice to a sexual relationship, just be mindful though, that some of the things you can try (like dirty talk) won't work for everyone. Or one partner may enjoy it, whilst the other won't.
Also there are different types of dirty talk, and some of it can be quite disrespectful (like what you may see in porn). So you may find it more helpful to start by talking about what you would like to do to them, or what you'd like them to do to you, and to vocalise the pleasure you feel when they touch you, and to give them more vocal/verbal feedback!
View hidden comment
Trying new things can be a great way to add spice to a sexual relationship, just be mindful though, that some of the things you can try (like dirty talk) won't work for everyone. Or one partner may enjoy it, whilst the other won't.
Also there are different types of dirty talk, and some of it can be quite disrespectful (like what you may see in porn). So you may find it more helpful to start by talking about what you would like to do to them, or what you'd like them to do to you, and to vocalise the pleasure you feel when they touch you, and to give them more vocal/verbal feedback!
Let's settle this once and for all! Cast your vote and see what others think.
How confident are you that your partner wants dirty talk?
Reader Comments
When you talk dirty, say things that show how sexy you find your girlfriend and how badly you want her. Make her feel like you care about her and are highly invested in making her feel good. Try things like "I love the way you look/sound when you..." or "You like that?" or "Tell me what you want. Use your words."
View hidden comment
It's totally normal for dirty talk to feel awkward at first. The two of you are figuring out what you like and experimenting to see what works best for your relationship. Speak openly with each other about what kind of dirty talk gets you going, and what kills the mood. The collaboration and vulnerability of it makes it all the more sexy.
View hidden comment
It absolutely gets less awkward as you get more experience with each other! Something that helped with our dirty talk is figuring out names that we liked calling each other. Try out different ones and see if any feel good to you.
View hidden comment
Well, for starters, It will feel strange or awkward to you, but then you kinda get used to it :)
View hidden comment
You'll get better and more comfortable as you go, I promise. :) A good "beginner-friendly" technique is asking her what she wants you to do to her (or, the reverse of that, telling her what you want to do to her). Take it slow. Sexual tension is built on not rushing through things. Describe what you want to do/what you want her to do in explicit detail. (It's really almost a creative exercise!) Add a few moans.
What you and your girlfriend like will be different from what other people like and you'll slowly figure out what works for you both over time. Just try to communicate openly with one another about what you like and what you don't like, and respect each other's boundaries. You/she might prefer things to stay pretty vanilla, or you might want things to get more kinky. Don't be afraid to explore, but of course, practice good consent. Hope this helps :)
View hidden comment
What you and your girlfriend like will be different from what other people like and you'll slowly figure out what works for you both over time. Just try to communicate openly with one another about what you like and what you don't like, and respect each other's boundaries. You/she might prefer things to stay pretty vanilla, or you might want things to get more kinky. Don't be afraid to explore, but of course, practice good consent. Hope this helps :)
Communication is key here! Different people like different things. Talk to your partner about if there are certain names or dynamics that especially turn her on. For example, she might like it if you take on a more dominant role. If that's the case, in your dirty talk you can give her orders and tell her what she can and can't do it. It's also helpful to figure out what she doesn't like so that you can avoid it.
View hidden comment
Yeah, don't worry, you'll probably get used to it soon. Trust me, dirty talk is WAY more easier if you subtly go into it, not straight away. Just relax and be yourself. :)
View hidden comment
Absolutely! Dirty talk can feel awkward at first, but like anything else, practice makes perfect. Start slow—use compliments or sensual descriptions to ease into it. Observe what excites your partner and build from there. Confidence is key, so own your words! Over time, it’ll feel more natural and fun.
View hidden comment
What’s on your mind? Ask anything.
Get advice and feedback from experts and wikiHow readers just like you.