Q&A for How to Get Your Horse to Trust and Respect You

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  • Question
    How can I get my horse to like me?
    Kate Jutagir
    Equestrian Specialist & Trainer
    Kate Jutagir is an Equestrian Specialist, Hunter/Jumper Trainer, and the Owner of Blackhound Equestrian, a premier training barn located on 65 acres in Castro Valley, California. Originally designed to be a riding school used as a springboard for dedicated students into careers in the sport, Blackhound Equestrian has grown into a hunter/jumper training program for all levels focusing on providing a solid foundation needed for personal advancement in the sport. Kate has over 25 years of equestrian instruction and training experience. Her focus on developing horse and rider partnerships provides a complete equestrian education for both beginners and advanced riders alike.
    Equestrian Specialist & Trainer
    Expert Answer
    Horses vary from where they like to be scratched to how they like to be approached to who they want their neighbors to be. You just have to immerse yourself in their perspective a little bit, and you'll understand as you get going what they enjoy. Just keep showing up for them as much as you can and really take that time out of the saddle to be their friend and their partner.
  • Question
    Why does my horse suddenly refuse to go forward while riding?
    Community Answer
    The horse is probably just being stubborn. Like humans, horses enjoy being lazy. Whenever that happens, just squeeze with your legs and give a tap with the crop. If you notice the horse only does it in a certain area, the horse may be afraid of something in that area, like a puddle or bush. The only way to get your horse over this fear is to either move the object away or walk your horse by it until it realizes there's nothing to be afraid of.
  • Question
    Our horse follows my sister all the time, but not me. How do I get him to obey me?
    Community Answer
    Try spending as much time as your can with your horse -- not just training and riding, but just giving him treats and petting him. Be patient and allow your horse to come to you.
  • Question
    What if my horse is perfectly safe, it's just that he wants to be the boss?
    Community Answer
    Teach him that he can't be boss using the methods of trust and respect outlined in this article. Also, your own attitude needs to change -- accept that you can be the one in charge and act confident and handle the horse properly.
  • Question
    Why does my horse sometimes put her head above me and won't let me touch her forehead?
    Community Answer
    You need to work on trust with your horse. Horses get anxious sometimes about having their heads touched because they cannot see your hands. Try the tips in this article and be patient.
  • Question
    How do I get my horse to come to me and not run when she sees the halter?
    Community Answer
    I've used food to entice my horse to come to me, an apple or even shaking her feed bucket and calling her name. Eventually she associated me with food and was happy to come when I called her.
  • Question
    My horse is 12. Is she too old to learn new things?
    Community Answer
    No, 12 is still a young age.
  • Question
    My mare is 16 years old and very bossy. Is she too old to learn any of these?
    Community Answer
    No, she isn't too old. Generally, no horse is ever too old to learn things like that. It might just take a little bit longer.
  • Question
    How can I get a three year old horse to trust a saddle?
    Community Answer
    Take things slowly. Only put it on for a moment the first time, then gradually leave it on for longer over time.
  • Question
    What do I do when my horse ignores me?
    Community Answer
    Teach it that paying attention to you is the correct thing to do. Go into an area and let the horse loose. When it stops paying attention to you, make it move with a whip or make a loud sharp noise, but stay a safe distance away from the horse in case it gets scared by the noise. When it looks at you, reward it (give it a scratch on the neck, a treat, or simply a compliment in a reassuring voice). When it stops paying attention to you, repeat the process. You'll need to keep doing this for several weeks, so be patient. You need to make not paying attention to you unpleasant and paying attention to you a good thing.
  • Question
    What if the horse is disrespectful and tries to bite me?
    Wolfe
    Community Answer
    It's not abusive to give the horse a light smack on the nose if they try to bite. It's safer for both you and the horse if the horse knows that you don't tolerate that sort of behavior. Act like the herd leader and the horse will respect that.
  • Question
    How do I lift the back legs?
    Community Answer
    Normally you would hold a horse's back leg and have your back to the horse's head. Click your tongue to the roof of your mouth and gently run your hand down the leg. When you get to the fetlock gently lift it up with the horse's leg bending like your elbow.
  • Question
    My horse is so stubborn and sometimes totally refuses to jump. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Make sure your horse is not in any pain, this could be the reason. It could be caused by tack that does not fit properly or by an injury. He could also be scared to jump; make sure you show him it is safe. It may help to practice with poles and work your way up again. If the problem is getting worse, you should talk to your trainer and vet.
  • Question
    Why does my horse throw her head down when I'm riding her?
    Community Answer
    You might be holding onto the reins too tightly, causing her to search for a pressure release. (She might also just have an attitude problem!)
  • Question
    If my horse is mad at me because I mess with her, how long should I leave her alone for?
    Community Answer
    If your horse is mad or pins its ears at you, it is best to leave her alone for about a day. If she's still grumpy the next day, leave her alone another day.
  • Question
    How do I bond with my horse?
    Community Answer
    There are many ways, but joining-up is a good way. Put your horse in a round pen and go through the gaits with him (not on a lunge line). After you have done this for 10-15 minutes, stop and turn your back to him with your head down. He should come up beside you, and when he does, give him lots of pats/praise and a treat. If he doesn't come after a minute or two, keep round-penning him until he does.
  • Question
    my mare won't stay behind me in the lead position, I push her back gently. But she still wants to be in front, she's fine any other way. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Enough is enough, so communicate that to her! Demand that she respect your space by flicking the lead rope behind you so that it hits her. If she doesn't take the cue, stop, turn around and get in her space by driving her back. Flap your arms, pop her on the chest with the lead rope if you have to.
  • Question
    Why does my horse let me touch his face some days, but other days he won't?
    Community Answer
    I wouldn't worry too much as long as your horse is not being oddly aggressive when this happens. Sometimes horses like their faces being touched, and sometimes they decide they suddenly don't. However, you might notice your horse not letting you touch certain parts of his face. For example, my pony is fine with me touching his nose and lower areas of his face, but he gets nervous when I brush out his forelock because he hates his ears being touched. Another thing to keep in mind is that horses have a blind spot directly in front of them, so perhaps your horse just gets startled if you touch his face while standing in front of him. But if he isn't acting out it's probably nothing.
  • Question
    How do I get my horse to stand still when I try to mount?
    Community Answer
    Back the horse up when she does not stand. Get someone on the ground to hold her still and then when she stands, get on her and give her a treat (from the person on the ground).
  • Question
    What does it mean when my horse looks at me while I'm grooming him?
    Kate
    Community Answer
    It means that he is relaxed when you are around and as long as he isn't messing around, he is making sure that it is you and showing you that he realises you are there. But it could also mean that he is watching you because he is scared of what you will do. You can usually tell which it is because if it is the first one he will be calm and chilled whereas if it is the second then he will be hesitant and stiff.
  • Question
    Why is my horse so jumpy and frightened all the time?
    Anada Martinez
    Community Answer
    Some horses are more easily spooked than others. It is the same for humans, you get some that are more scared of things than others. If you're horse is spooky, then chances are it will always be a slight part of their personality, but you can work on it. You can help build up their confidence by doing things such as taking them out for frequent hacks. This helps get them used to things that they wouldn't usually see on the yard or in the arena. You should also mark any good behaviour with a gentle pat whilst riding, if for example they do t spook at something that they would usually have done.
  • Question
    I go to a horse place probably every 4 times a year and I go to the same horse all the time, how do I establish a closer bond?
    Anada Martinez
    Community Answer
    To establish a bond with a horse, there is a lot more to it than just being someone who rides them every time you go to see them. It involves things such as recognition of your voice and also their ability to follow any commands given by you. All of this comes from trust. And to get a good level of trust you can do things as little tle as simply spending some time with the in their stable, or just giving them a carrot. Putting some time aside to groom them also increases your bond.
  • Question
    When I lead my horse on the road, she cut ahead and went to the other side of me. When leading, how can I impose, and stay, the boss?
    Community Answer
    Watch to see if something as spooked your horse before just assuming they have been naughty, then try carrying a longish crop (like a dressage whip) and when the horse tries to barge, bring it up in front of them, not to hit them but to make a barrier. If they ignore this, you can tap them with it lightly not to hurt them but just to annoy them, so they step back. Another thing to try would be as soon as they start to pull away, pull back on their halter with a firm "No". However, it is important to release this pressure as soon as the horse does what you want them to do. And remember, for the safety of you and your horse, get an experienced person to help if needed.
  • Question
    What if my horse constantly tries to stop, goes in the wrong direction, or does not stop when I ask during riding, but is never disrespectful on ground?
    Community Answer
    Try a few things. First, get your horse checked by a vet. They may be having issues that mean they are sore and just unhappy if this comes back clear. It is time to remind your horse who is boss. Never let them get away with walking when you want a trot/jog the best way to enforce this is heels, heels and voice, heels voice crop/spurs. Finally, you may need to go back to the start and start them under the saddle. Again, remember to seek help with this, if you need it.
  • Question
    How do I teach my baby foal not to kick when I am touching its feet, and how can I desensitize it to leg touching?
    Shayla Crockett
    Community Answer
    Start by touching its feet and legs with a flag or a whip, not hitting or whipping, but rub and don't tap them. Just rub, as he would feel in the wild. Slowly get closer as he gets used to it, then slowly advance to your hands. I don't know your horse though, so I don't know if it will work or not but it is worth a shot, it works with my foals.
  • Question
    When turning my new horse out, he squashes me against the fence, turns in front of me, then tries to rear or kick when asked to move over. How do I gain his respect and encourage him to lead safely?
    GreenEventing
    Top Answerer
    Start on a lunge line. Have him move forward strongly at a trot, and don't allow him to turn towards you. Have him do walk-trot transitions. Lunge for about 10-15 minutes. If he is 20 or older, keep it under 10 minutes, the same for horses 5 years old and under. Teach him to back up. Remember: whoever moves the herd's (or singular horse's) feet is the leader. Wear an approved horseback riding helmet, and I recommend using a protective vest, when handling these sort of horses.
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