Q&A for How to React After Saying "I Love You"

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  • Question
    How do you respond to "I Love You" when you don't love the person back?
    Jessica January Behr, PsyD
    Relationship Psychologist
    Dr. Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder and Director of Behr Psychology. She specializes in couples and sex therapy. Additionally, Dr. Behr treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression. She holds a BA in Psychology from Hunter College. Dr. Behr also holds a Masters of Science of Education (MsED) in School Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.
    Relationship Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    You should try to figure out a way to show appreciation and acknowledge that you're aware that you're not reciprocating the feeling in that moment if you're unable to do it. Maybe you could say that you care about the person as well to soften the blow.
  • Question
    What is the worst response to "I Love You"?
    Jessica January Behr, PsyD
    Relationship Psychologist
    Dr. Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder and Director of Behr Psychology. She specializes in couples and sex therapy. Additionally, Dr. Behr treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression. She holds a BA in Psychology from Hunter College. Dr. Behr also holds a Masters of Science of Education (MsED) in School Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.
    Relationship Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    There is not really a best or worst response to this. You have to think about how that makes you feel. Do you feel the same way? Check in with your feelings and analyze if you truly care about the person. Obviously, these are hard questions to answer and you are entitled to take time and process your feelings to respond in the best way possible for yourself.
  • Question
    How can I respond when someone says this in a text?
    Community Answer
    If this is the first time this person has said this to you, avoid writing back "I love you too." You should wait until they say it in person. Instead, send some heart emojis. If you do not feel the same way about the person, you could choose to ignore their message, or reject them by saying something along the lines of: "Aww, I'm really flattered!"
  • Question
    What should I say or do after they say "I love you, too"?
    Community Answer
    Remember that actions speak louder than words. You don't have to say anything, but a happy smile, a hug, or a kiss will mean a lot to the other person.
  • Question
    What should I do when a girl replies that she loves me too?
    Community Answer
    Kiss her or give her a hug.
  • Question
    How do I react to a guy texting that he loves me?
    Community Answer
    Any guy should know that's not the best way to tell a girl that he loves her. Even if he lacks the courage, he needs to find that courage to say it to your face so that you can gauge his sincerity. Just ignore it and whatever you do, don't say "I love you" back by text. Instead, wait until he says it to you face to face; in the meantime, at least you know and you can decide how you feel!
  • Question
    I always start the conversation (in text) with the guy I'm dating, and I want him to be the initiator. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Be patient and don't text him for a while. Wait for him to text you, even if it takes a whole day or more. If he really likes you, he will find the courage to start the conversation.
  • Question
    What can I do to subtly show someone that I love them?
    Community Answer
    Give them a hug or say that you appreciate it that you met/are with them. Just say something nice and look them in the eyes while doing so.
  • Question
    I told a girl that l love her, and she told me that she doesn't have those kinds of feelings for me. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    If you two get along well, keep talking to her. Continue building the relationship and treat her well, and she might change how she feels about you.
  • Question
    How should I react if he says that he does not love me?
    Community Answer
    Only you know how you'll react if he doesn't reciprocate. While it won't feel good, at least he is being honest. Try to react and go on in a way that will help you feel better about yourself and your situation. Always let him know that is fine and give him space and time to come around to your perspective.
  • Question
    What should I do if she refuses me?
    Community Answer
    Don't force it. She either doesn't share your feelings, or she hasn't discovered feelings for you like that.
  • Question
    What does it mean if someone tells you they don't have the words to express their feelings?
    Community Answer
    It can mean a variety of things. For one, they could have so many different emotions that they're feeling confused (or they just have so many other things on their plate that identifying feelings is too much to handle). Love is always a tricky topic and for those who do not know how to verbalize their thoughts, it takes a lot more time to be said. They might also not have the same feelings and just don't know how to tell you that.
  • Question
    What should I say when a girl texts "do you love me"?
    Community Answer
    If you do love her, you should definitely reply and state that you do indeed love her. If this is the first time this topic has been brought up between the two of you (as in, you have not told her you love her, she has not told you she loves you), and you do love her, it would be wise to follow up by telling her you love her face-to-face. If you don't love her, but don't wish to flat-out reject her, send a smiley face emoji or text face, or make the time to discuss the matter in person. If you choose to do this, however, be delicate and mindful.
  • Question
    I love someone who but doesn't give me the attention I need. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Give her the attention she needs. React positively to the things she does, cheer her on, make positive comments, be as much part of her life as you can. Eventually, if it's meant to be, she'll reciprocate.
  • Question
    How do I tell someone I don't feel the same way?
    Community Answer
    Try something like: "I'm very flattered, but I just don't feel the same way" or "Thank you, but I just don't feel the same". Understand that the person may be very embarrassed or upset. Just try to be understanding and sensitive.
  • Question
    What should I do if someone tells me this in a letter?
    Community Answer
    Assuming you've already have met this person in the flesh, then you can write a letter back wherein you can state that you want him/her to say it in person if he/she really means it.
  • Question
    What should I do if the other person doesn't answer when I say, "I love you?"
    Extreme Zilla
    Community Answer
    Just wait for them and don't force them to react to what you've said. Maybe they're just shocked
  • Question
    How can I gently let someone know that I am not in love with him/her?
    Community Answer
    All you can do is be honest. Tell him/her you value his/her friendship, but you just don't have romantic feelings for him/her.
  • Question
    If I ask her, "Do you love me" and she says "maybe," what does that mean?
    Community Answer
    It might mean that she isn't sure how she feels about you, or that she's too shy to say it, or it could mean that she doesn't feel the same way. Give it a little time and ask again. If she still says "maybe," ask her specifically what she means by that.
  • Question
    What can I do if the person I'm interested in rejected me?
    Community Answer
    Practice good self care! You can't control how other people feel about you, but you can control how you feel about yourself. Eat well, get plenty of sleep and exercise and pamper yourself a bit. Feeling good about yourself will help you move on.
  • Question
    What do you say to someone who says I love you?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    It really depends on how you feel about them. If you love them back, then tell them so! Say something simple like, "I love you, too." If you're unsure of how you feel or you're not quite ready to say it back, that's fine, too! Try responding with something simple and direct like, "I'm sorry, I just need some time to figure out how I feel." Be honest with both them and yourself about how you feel.
  • Question
    What does it mean when he says I love you too soon?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    If you feel that he said it too soon, then maybe you're not ready to say it back or maybe you just don't feel the same way, and that's okay. He may be saying "I love you" because that's really how he feels. However, if you're unsure, you can take time to think about how you feel. You could tell them something like, "I think it's a little too soon to be saying 'I love you' and I'm not sure if I feel that way."
  • Question
    Is love at first sight possible?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    While it's definitely possible to be instantly attracted to someone when you first see them, real love takes time and commitment. You have to get to know the person to figure out if you really love them for who they are. It's perfectly natural to have really strong feelings for someone when you first meet them but spend some time with them to learn more about them before you tell them that you love them.
  • Question
    What is the best response when my partner says, "I love your eyes"?
    Community Answer
    Say thank you, and if you'd like, compliment a characteristic you love about your partner.
  • Question
    I am 12 years old. The guy I love told me he has feelings for me and I totally freaked out and ran to the bathroom! I want to say the truth, that I love him too, but I am embarrassed! What could I do?
    Community Answer
    Maybe say: “Wow, I’m sorry I ran off like that—I was taken by surprise—but I feel the same way!” Try to be honest.
  • Question
    How do I react to someone who is dating me saying they love me?
    Community Answer
    If you're dating them, then you obviously love them back, so you could say "I love you too". If you think it's too soon, be open and tell them you're not ready to say that yet. You could also hug or kiss them or even smile at them to show you appreciate they've said that.
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