Am I Toxic?

Take this quiz to find out!

“Toxic” people are a hot topic. Typically, this term is used to describe a negative person who regularly devalues others. Everyone’s selfish sometimes, and, on occasion, we all tell white lies. So how do you know if you’re in the normal range…or a total hazard?

We’ve got the answers right here. Ready to learn if you’re toxic? Click “Start Quiz.”

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Questions Overview

1. Your partner's acting suspicious. You:
  1. Gently ask them if something is going on.
  2. Watch them closer and act passive-aggressive. They’ll get the hint.
  3. Accuse them of cheating. Even if they’re not, this will help you get an answer.
  4. Search their phone for embarrassing texts. If they break up with you, now you have leverage.
2. Is it ever okay to lie?
  1. Nope! We all deserve the truth.
  2. Yes, if it spares someone’s feelings.
  3. Yes. If you never get caught, then what’s the harm?
  4. Of course! Everybody lies. I just happen to be an expert.
3. You just heard someone's secret. You're thinking:
  1. I'd hate if my secrets were out. My lips are sealed.
  2. It’s too juicy to keep under wraps…I’ll tell my BFF, but make sure they don't share.
  3. They should’ve been more careful! I’m telling everyone.
  4. I won't tell…but only because now, I can hold this over their head.
4. You met the new girl everyone's gushing about. What'd you notice?
  1. Her kindness. She seems so genuine!
  2. You think she’s cool, but you notice her shoes and shirt don't match—that’s embarrassing!
  3. She’s fine, but you don’t like her laugh. You’re not impressed!
  4. Everyone loves her, so you dislike her automatically. Sorry not sorry!
5. When you’re in an argument, what’s your goal?
  1. To protect the other person’s feelings.
  2. To discover the truth.
  3. To win, obviously.
  4. To make sure the other person never messes with you again.
6. Your BFF is getting close to someone new. What're you thinking?
  1. “Aw, I’m glad. I should bond with them so we can all hang out.”
  2. “I’m a little jealous, but overall I’m happy for her.”
  3. “This new friend better be nice if they want my approval.”
  4. “Unacceptable. I don’t care how nice they are, they're public enemy #1.”
7. What’s your life motto?
  1. Spread joy and kindness.
  2. Be good to others, but put yourself first.
  3. The ends usually justify the means.
  4. Always do whatever it takes to win.
8. Your friend wants to handle a bully by themself. What do you do?
  1. Respect their choice, but say you’re here to talk.
  2. Tell them that they’re handling it wrong, but whatever.
  3. Say you’ll hold back, but throw shade at the bully anyway.
  4. Go on full offense. Dig up dirt on the bully and hold it over them.
9. Someone says you hurt their feelings. What’s your next move?
  1. Reflect and apologize. That’s the only way to move forward.
  2. Be defensive at first, but apologize eventually.
  3. Ignore them in retaliation. But after a few days, give in and apologize.
  4. Convince them that actually they’re in the wrong. Checkmate.
10. Would you say that you control your emotions well?
  1. Yes.
  2. For the most part. Like everyone, I do get angry sometimes.
  3. No.
  4. Who needs emotional control? Rage is a powerful tool.
11. To you, drama is:
  1. To be avoided at all costs.
  2. Not ideal, but sometimes necessary.
  3. Just a part of life. I don’t mind it.
  4. Fun.
12. Do you care about personal growth?
  1. Definitely. I’m always working to become a better person.
  2. I’d like to be a good person, but it’s not my main focus.
  3. Nope. I am who I am.
  4. I want to become smarter, more successful, and better at controlling people. That’s the meaning of personal growth to me.

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You\u2019re all about taking the high road, and we think that\u2019s amazing. But just remember, not everyone is as pure-hearted as you. You know how, on airplanes, they say you should put on your mask before assisting others? Life is a bit like that, too. Make sure you take care of yourself, set boundaries when you need to, and don\u2019t accept disrespect. That way, you can make yourself as happy as you make everyone else!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Establish-Boundaries"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Practice-Self-Care"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Establish Boundaries","id":555639,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Establish-Boundaries","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5e\/Establish-Boundaries-Step-27.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Establish-Boundaries-Step-27.jpg","alt":"How to Establish Boundaries"},{"title":"How to Practice Self Care","id":1699895,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Practice-Self-Care","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5f\/Use-Your-Time-Wisely-Step-4-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Use-Your-Time-Wisely-Step-4-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Practice Self Care"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You\u2019re a little toxic.","meaning":"You\u2019re a little toxic, but isn\u2019t everyone? You might tell white lies on occasion, and maybe you cheat to win at Monopoly. The truth is, nobody is perfect.On the whole, you seem like you care about how you treat other people\u2014we think that\u2019s awesome. And the formula to becoming a better person is simpler than you\u2019d think. Learn to recognize your wrongdoings, apologize when you need to, and try to make kinder decisions going forward. And remember, one mistake doesn\u2019t erase the love and support you give others every day. So, when you mess up, forgive yourself!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-a-Genuine-Apology"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Forgive-Yourself"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Make a Genuine Apology","id":1270734,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-a-Genuine-Apology","image":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/48\/Make-a-Genuine-Apology-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Make-a-Genuine-Apology-Step-11-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Make a Genuine Apology"},{"title":"How to Forgive Yourself","id":832059,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Forgive-Yourself","image":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/ef\/Forgive-Yourself-Step-21.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Forgive-Yourself-Step-21.jpg","alt":"How to Forgive Yourself"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You're toxic.","meaning":"Uh oh. Looking at your rap sheet, it seems like there\u2019s a clear consensus. You\u2019re toxic!The truth is, though, a lot of people are. What really matters isn\u2019t who you are today, it\u2019s who you can become tomorrow. So if you\u2019re looking to turn down the toxicity, we think that\u2019s amazing. Plus, recognizing an issue is always the first step to resolving it. So now that you\u2019ve taken this quiz, you can absolutely learn to treat others better. At wikiHow, we\u2019ve covered everything you need to know. 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Signs That You’re Toxic

“Toxic” is a general term used to describe challenging people, but what does it mean exactly? Toxic people are typically less concerned with others’ well-being than they are with their own agenda. In some cases, they might also lack self-control. So, even if they do want to show others respect, they might fail to do so. This forces friends and partners to grapple with the emotional toll of a toxic relationship. [1] Here are a few other signs that someone is a toxic person: [2]

Blaming. A toxic person might not care to consider others’ experiences. Because of this, they may start to believe that everything is someone else’s fault—and nothing is ever their own fault.

Gossiping. [3] A toxic person might feel content hurting other people by sharing secrets or rumors about them. Gossiping and bullying might make them feel powerful, so they’re happy to exploit others for their own personal benefit.

Complaining. A toxic person doesn’t think critically about how their negative energy might bring others down. Because of this, they might feel comfortable constantly complaining.

Inconsistent relationships. Toxic people might get away with their antics for a while, but over time, poor behavior will lose them friendships and close relationships.

Lying. [4] Toxic people are concerned with their own status, not doing right by other people. Many are happy to stretch the truth when it benefits them.

Manipulating . Toxic people might feel that the ends always justify the means. So if they want a certain result, they’ll attempt to control other people or situations to make it happen.

Demanding. Toxic people think about their own needs, not yours. So a lot of the time, these people will use force to get what they want from you.

How can a toxic person improve their relationships?

Learn to respect others’ boundaries. [5] When it comes to maintaining respectful relationships, this practice is key. Ask your friends what they can and can’t accept from you. Then do your best to meet their standards. Even if this behavior is new to you, boundaries can help you learn to appreciate the needs of other people.

Love yourself so you can love others too. Radical self-acceptance will make your journey easier, too. When you understand where your impulses and desires come from, it can help you shed unnecessary shame and guilt. For most people, these feelings stand in the way of self-improvement, they don’t inspire positive change. So for many “toxic” people, the best way to heal is through therapy, self-reflection, and, ultimately, a bit of hard work. Once you’ve learned to understand and accept your patterns, you’re empowered to alter them. That way, you can start treating other people better, too! [6]

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References

  1. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_handle_a_toxic_relationship
  2. ↑ https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/warning-signs-of-toxic-relationships/
  3. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6549470/
  4. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=1&contentid=528
  5. ↑ https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/boundaries-expectations/
  6. ↑ https://youthfirstinc.org/learning-to-love-yourself/

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    Oct 19

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