Fun, Deep & Flirty Topics to Keep a Phone Convo Going with Your Girlfriend

Even if you’re really into your girlfriend, it can be hard to come up with different topics for you both to talk about over the phone. And if you’re in a long-distance relationship, there’s extra pressure to know what to say in order to keep the relationship from becoming stagnant or boring. Good news: we’ve rounded up the best conversation topics and questions so you always have something to talk about on the phone with your girlfriend, plus expert tips from dating coaches.

Great Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend

A recent movie or show you’re obsessed with
Your fantasy vacation destinations
Your favorite foods
Something interesting you learned recently
A funny story from your past
The craziest thing you’ve ever done
Plans for your next weekend together

Section 1 of 6:

Fun Things to Talk About Over the Phone

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Try to cover a range of interesting and unique subjects. If you’re trying to keep things interesting on the phone with your girlfriend, try to cover as many topics as possible, gauging her interest in certain subjects while getting to know her on an even deeper level. Here is a list of fun ideas to discuss with your special lady on the other side of the phone line:
- Your favorite films and television shows
- Your ideal vacation destinations
- Romantic fantasy date ideas
- Your dream jobs
- Your personal and professional goals
- Music you can’t get out of your head
- Top 3 favorite foods
- The best book you’ve read recently
- The strangest dreams you’ve ever had
- A funny story from your childhood
- A story about something wild/unhinged you and your friends did once

Section 2 of 6:

Deep Things to Talk About Over the Phone

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Try to get to know her vulnerable side. Although discussing lighthearted topics on the phone with your girlfriend is definitely a good way to build on your connection, delving a bit deeper into her psyche and learning the ins and outs of her could help take your relationship to the next level. Here are some questions to ask and topics to consider bringing up:
- What’s the most difficult day you’ve ever lived?
- Is spirituality important to you?
- When was the last time you examined what their inner voice was telling them?
- When was the last time you really had to work hard at something?
- What do you do when you need to clear your mind?
- What do you think sets you apart from other people?
- Do you consider yourself to be needy or independent?
- When opportunity arises, do you jump on it or are you cautious?
- If you could write a book, what would it be about?
- What song really speaks to you and why?
- If you could go into any store and get everything you wanted for free, what store would it be and what would you grab first?
- Have you ever taken part in a protest?
- What do you feel is the most inconsiderate thing people get away with?
- What’s the most spectacular thing you've ever seen?
- What do you do when faced with injustice?
- What is your signature dish or drink?
- How do you feel social media has changed relationships?
- Who is the strangest person you’ve ever met?
- Have you ever been on television?
- What makes you feel disrespected?
- Have you ever been in a physical fight?
- What is a habit you wish you could break?
- If you were elected President, what changes would you make?
- When did you last cry and why?

Section 3 of 6:

Topics to Get to Know Your Girlfriend Better

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Ask her about her preferences, ideas, and ambitions. Getting to truly know another person can be a lifelong journey, cobbled together by conversation, listening, shared interests, and mutual respect. However, if you’d like to kickstart that with your girlfriend, here are a variety of questions you can ask that are sure to keep her talking on the phone with you:
- What's the most adventurous thing you've ever done?
- What's your biggest pet peeve?
- What's something you're passionate about?
- What's the best gift you've ever received?
- What's the best advice you've ever received?
- What's something you're really good at?
- What's something interesting you've learned recently?
- What's your favorite way to spend a weekend?
- What's your favorite childhood memory?
- What's something you've always wanted to try but haven't had the chance to?
- What's your favorite thing about your job or school?
- What's your favorite thing about yourself?
- What's your biggest pet peeve?
- What's your favorite way to relax?
- What's your favorite hobby?

Section 4 of 6:

Romantic Things to Talk About Over the Phone

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Discuss intimate aspects of your relationship. When you’re in love, it’s natural for the conversation to slip into romantic territory. Compliments, plans about your shared future, date ideas— all of these are essential to keeping the romance alive. Here are some other questions to ask your significant other to let them know the extent of your affections and that you’re considering them as a long-term partner: ^{[1]
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- What do you value most about our relationship?
- Is there anything you consider a dealbreaker in a relationship?
- Do you want to have children someday?
- What do you think makes a long-term relationship successful?
- Do you believe in love at first sight or the existence of soulmates?
- Why do you think your past relationships didn't work out?
- How do you define a healthy relationship
- When did you first realize that you loved me?
- What's your favorite love song?
- Describe your dream date night with me.
- What's the first thing you noticed about me?
- Why do you think we're a good match?
- What's your main love language?
- What famous or fictional couple do you think we are most like?
- How do I add value and happiness to your daily life?
- Would you rather spend a night under the stars together or in a fancy hotel room?
- If we could go on a double date with one celebrity couple, who would you choose?
- What's one thing you hope we'll always do together?
- Who was the first person you told about me?
- What does romance mean to you?
- If we could relive one day together, what would you pick?
- What do you admire the most about me?

Section 5 of 6:

Flirty Things to Talk About Over the Phone

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Share funny or naughty past dating stories. One of the most popular pieces of advice given to newlyweds is to never stop flirting. Although you and your girlfriend may not be at that stage yet, continuing to flirt once you’ve started your relationship is still highly recommended! Here are some fun and cute ways to exchange banter, stories, and keep the butterflies fluttering inside each other’s stomachs:
- Share crazy dating stories
- Is there anything that surprises people about you in a dating context?
- What compliment do you most often receive from dates/partners?
- Which celebrity did you want to marry as a teenager?
- What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve heard?
- What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever done?
- What drew you to your first crush, and how old were you at the time?
- What’s the worst thing you’ve seen on a dating app?
- What’s the wildest outfit you’ve ever worn?
- Which celebrity do you think you look like? How about me?
- If you were invisible, what would you do?
- What’s something crazy you want to do in your lifetime?

Section 6 of 6:

Tips for Keeping a Conversation Going

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1
Ask open-ended questions. Phrase your questions so they can't be answered with a simple “yes” or “no." If you simply ask, “Did you have a good day?” she’ll probably respond with, “Yeah.” Instead, ask, “What was an interesting thing that happened today?” Remember, the idea is to ask her things that lead naturally into conversation, not to pepper her with interview questions.
- Introduce a subject you can both relate to or talk about mutual interests and acquaintances. For example:
  - “What did you think of the White Lotus finale?”
  - “Did you read that new Timothée Chalamet interview?”
  - “Have you talked to Megan recently? What’s she been up to?”
2
Pay genuine attention. Dating coach Patti Novak Williams encourages you not to listen while thinking of what to say next: “When we listen to understand, we respond accordingly. If you're constantly worrying about what you're going to say next, then you're not really listening to that person.” Let her say what she needs to and focus on listening without interrupting. Don’t panic and trust that you’ll be able to come up with comments or questions related to what she’s saying once she’s done. ^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
- Avoid multitasking during your phone conversations; if you’re distracted, she might pick up on that and feel hurt.
3
Make an effort to understand her. Practice active listening by giving brief affirmations, avoiding judgment, and asking clarifying questions. Active listening may be the most important conversational skill you can cultivate, because it helps other people feel heard and understood. This technique will not only make conversation flow more easily, it will also increase your girlfriend's trust in you. ^{[3]
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Research source}
- Being a good listener is crucial for your relationship. Dating coach John Keegan says, “[Your girlfriend] wants to be heard, listened to, and understood on every level, from the littlest things to the deepest things.” ^{[4]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
4
Focus on her and allow her to vent. In a healthy relationship, there’s equal conversational space for both partners. That said, sometimes one of you will need more attention or support than the other. Be a good listener by allowing her to dominate the conversation when she needs to, without inserting your own ego. ^{[5]
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- You can encourage her by saying things like:
  - “Go ahead, I’m all ears!”
  - “Let it all out. No one’s here to judge you.”
  - “Don’t hold back— this is what I’m here for.”
Often this can be as simple as telling her, “That sounds really hard. I know how important your dog was to you.” This lets her know that you are listening and that you feel for her, while giving her plenty of space to continue sharing. ^{[6]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
6
Reflect her feelings back to her. If she just told you a story about a fight she had with her friends, avoid saying something like, “It sounds like your friends are real jerks. They don’t appreciate how great you are.” This may seem like a supportive way to respond, but the truth is that she loves her friends, and your harsh words will ultimately come back to haunt you.. ^{[7]
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- You can also try a gentler response like, “It sounds like you felt really disrespected by the way they spoke to you.”
  - This validates the way she’s feeling, without pointing a finger of blame.
7
Ask follow-up questions. Inviting her to tell you more about something she just said lets her know you’re interested. It will also extend the mileage you get out of that particular subject, saving you from immediately having to come up with a new topic. Try asking, “What was that like for you?” or “How did she react when you said that?” ^{[8]
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Research source}
- Other good follow-up questions include:
  - “What happened after that?”
  - “What made you want to do that?”
  - “Would you change anything about that situation?”
Use phrases like, “Tell me more about it,” “I’d like to hear more about that,” “How did that feel?” or “What did you do then?” Even small comments like, “Go on,” or “Uh-huh,” are enough to encourage her to keep sharing. ^{[9]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
9
Seek advice or support. You probably offer your girlfriend a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on, but your bond will be stronger if that goes both ways. If you’re struggling with something, it’s okay to be vulnerable and turn to her for advice or validation. She’ll probably appreciate you sharing this side of yourself with her.
- For example, you can ask:
  - “I had this weird exchange with my boss today— was I wrong to say [x]?”
  - “I got into an argument with my brother. Should I apologize?”
  - “What would you do if you were in my shoes?”
10
Inquire about her childhood. Some people are lucky enough to have known their significant others since childhood. However, most people are not. If this is your case, try to get to know your girlfriend even better by bringing up her childhood. What did she like? Dislike? What were her favorite cartoons to watch on Saturday mornings? Additionally, asking questions about her childhood can really help you learn what makes her tick. For example: ^{[10]
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Research source}
- “When you were 7 years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
  - “What was your favorite sweet treat or candy as a kid?”
  - “What Disney movie could you watch on repeat?
This will show her that you really pay attention to the things she shares with you, and that you care about the things that are important to her. Try asking things like, “So was your boss less of a jerk today?” or “Is your mom feeling better?” or “Did you finish that book you’ve been so into?” ^{[11]
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Research source}
12
Avoid offering solutions unless she asks for them. Many men tell people about their problems because it’s a practical route toward solving those problems. On the other hand, many women want empathy rather than practical suggestions. When your girlfriend tells you about something she’s struggling with, your first instinct may be to offer solutions. Avoid this; if she wants advice, she will probably ask for it. Until then, a good working assumption is that she really just wants to feel understood. ^{[12]
X
Research source} ^{[13]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- Keegan advises against this, too, adding, “What [your girlfriend] wants is to feel listened to, heard, and understood— not having something explained to her or have you solve all her problems, which is what a lot of guys try to do. They hear her say something about the day, and then he immediately goes into solving mode.” ^{[14]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
Sometimes sharing a story about a time you experienced something similar can help validate her and make her feel less alone. It provides reassurance that the way she feels is normal and understandable. ^{[15]
X
Research source} This isn’t appropriate in all situations (like, if her grandma passed away, don’t tell a story about your hamster dying). Keep it brief to avoid overshadowing her.
14
Share an anecdote from your day. If something interesting or funny happened, tell her about it. It can be easy to rely too heavily on gripes about frustrating situations when you do this, so try to make sure you are not just rattling off complaints. ^{[16]
X
Research source} Keep the conversation going by asking what made her laugh today.
- Tell her about something you saw or heard that reminded you of her.
- If you’re in a long-distance relationship and want to feel like you’re more involved in each other’s lives, jot down 5 things that happened to you that day, and then share them with her.
- Dating coach Joshua Pompey encourages you to get down to the nitty gritty as means of deepening your connection: “You just want to avoid the small talk and everyday questions, and just get into what's going on in your life, or start out with a funny story.” For example, you can start the conversation with something like: ^{[17]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Joshua Pompey
  Relationship Expert
  
  Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
  - “Wow, you won’t believe what my coworker just did…”
  - “I saw the funniest thing on the train today…”
  - “For lunch, I had…”
15
Make or discuss plans. Brainstorm fun ideas of things the two of you could do this week. If you already have plans, talk about how excited you are to go to that concert, or mention a review you read of the play you’re going to see. This will get her excited, too, and make her feel like a valued part of your life.
- Keegan says that planning dates is a way of keeping things fresh, stating, “A lot of men get lazy after they're already in a relationship. They have that first month of “Wow!” and then they slip into let's-lay-around-and-watch-TV-mode all the time.” ^{[18]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- He advises that you be romantic and specific: “Tell her you want to take her out for live music and a glass of wine this week.” ^{[19]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
Tell her about some of your hopes and dreams. You don't want to monopolize the conversation, but she’ll be interested to know that she’s dating a person with ambitions. ^{[20]
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Research source}
A little bit of gossip is okay as long as you avoid anything too brutal or personal. This should constitute a small portion of your conversation, but it can be an easy fallback if you’re at a loss. There aren't a lot of people who can resist indulging in gossip from time to time! ^{[21]
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Research source}

Join the Discussion...

What do you talk about with your girlfriend?

wikiHow Editorial Team

Looking for fun, interesting, or deep things to talk about with your girlfriend? Try asking these questions get a good conversation going:

What's your favorite love song of all time?
What would the perfect date night look like to you?
What was your first impression of me when we met? Has it changed?
What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?
What do you think your love language is?
If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would you pick?
What’s the best piece of advice you ever received?
Who was your celebrity crush when you were growing up?
If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do with the money?
What songs do you have on repeat right now?

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What questions should I ask when I'm with my girl?

Maureen Wilson

Community Answer

Open-ended questions lead to great conversation. Try these: "What's something you've accomplished that you're proud of?" "What's your quirkiest habit?" "Have you ever been helped by a kind stranger?" "If you had a time machine, which year would you travel to?"

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What if she talks to another person on the phone while you are talking to her?

Maureen Wilson

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How do you feel about your girlfriend talking to somebody else on the phone at the same time? If you feel that her behavior is rude, let her know that you need to go and that you can catch up later when she isn't so busy. The next time you talk, tell her how that made you feel.

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Can I tell her if I want to kiss her?

Maureen Wilson

Community Answer

Being honest about what you want and then asking what she wants is a great idea. Talking about this on the phone is a good way to see whether you're on the same page.

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Tips

Expect her to care about your feelings, too. It isn’t your sole responsibility to keep the convo going or to always be the one offering support.

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Use “I” statements that focus on how you feel: “Sometimes I feel like there’s a lot of pressure on me to keep our conversations going. Do you ever feel that way?”

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If talking on the phone makes you too anxious, suggest other means of communication like video chatting, texting, or IMing.

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[1]

[2]

Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach

[3]

[4]

John Keegan
Dating Coach

[5]

[6]

Go to source

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13]

[14]

[15]

[16]

[17]

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert

[18]

[19]

[20]

[21]

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Fun, Deep & Flirty Topics to Keep a Phone Convo Going with Your Girlfriend

Great Things to Talk About With Your Girlfriend

Steps

Fun Things to Talk About Over the Phone

Deep Things to Talk About Over the Phone

Topics to Get to Know Your Girlfriend Better

Romantic Things to Talk About Over the Phone

Flirty Things to Talk About Over the Phone

Tips for Keeping a Conversation Going

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