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Form a good relationship with your instructor to set yourself up for success
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Many students and teachers develop deep personal bonds while learning together. In fact, the closer you become with your teacher, the more you’ll be able to speak with them openly, and the more you’ll both learn and grow from your conversations together. Ultimately, friendship with a teacher can be one of the most enriching aspects of your education. That's why we've put together a complete guide on bonding with your teacher, communicating with them effectively, and respecting their role as a mentor.
Things You Should Know
- Participate in classes and volunteer to give answers or help other students to get your teacher to notice and appreciate you.
- Participate in extracurricular activities your teacher leads, like a sport team or club, or visit their office hours to ask them questions.
- Stay positive, polite, and casual but formal. Remember that your teacher is there to instruct you, so respect their boundaries.
Steps
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Participate in class. It’s your teacher’s job to make sure you begin to understand the world around you. Your social and academic education is a long process, and all of your teachers play an important role in providing a basis of knowledge that you’ll continue to expand upon for the rest of your life. In order to learn anything, let alone befriend any of your teachers, you need to participate in their classes! [1] X Expert Source Ashley Pritchard, MA
Academic & School Counselor Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.- Pay attention during class, and always put forth a serious effort to understand what your teacher is sharing with the class.
- At the very least, come to school prepared to learn, with the books and writing utensils you need for each class, and your homework assignments complete. Never skip class! Also try try try not to be late! Teachers often do not like the students who are constantly late because it shows you do not care about taking part in your education.
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Be inquisitive. If what your teacher is saying doesn’t make sense, ask questions about anything that is unclear. Believe it or not, teachers usually like when students ask questions. Your curiosity indicates you’ve been listening, and that you’re ready and willing to learn. Further, your questions will help other students better understand the content as well. [2] X Research source
- Feel free to ask questions that expand upon the content in class. For instance, after a lecture about what stars are made of, ask something like "Why is it that some stars in our sky are brighter than others?"
- Catch your teacher after class to ask for personal insight. Say something like, "Miss Markey, I've really been enjoying the section we've been studying on the night sky. Do you have a favorite place to look at the stars?"
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Offer to help with classroom tasks. If you have a favorite teacher that you want to get the chance to speak with more often, ask how you can be more involved in the classes you have together. Tasks you may be able to help with are dependent on the classes you’re taking. For instance, if your teacher teaches science, offer to come to class a few minutes early to help setup the experiments for that day. [3] X Research source
- This will allow you to get to know your favorite teacher better. You’ll also likely wind up learning more about the subjects they teach, and may find that you share some of your teacher’s interests.
- It’s alright if you don’t have any ideas about how to be more involved in. Ask your teacher how you can contribute by saying something like, "Is there any way I can dive deeper into this material with you? I'd be happy to help set up for our next class!"
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Join extracurricular activities your teacher leads. You may have one or two teachers that you especially admire. If a teacher you favor coaches an athletic team or advises a club at school, consider joining. In the classroom, conversation should focus mostly on the content that is being taught. Extracurricular activities offer a great way to learn from your teacher about things other than academic subjects. [4] X Expert Source Ashley Pritchard, MA
Academic & School Counselor Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.- Outside of the classroom, you and your teacher will get the chance to talk more about other things that are important. These conversations may even prove to be equally important as the discussions held during class.
- For instance, these conversations might touch on facing challenges and finding creative solutions to address them, or working hard to achieve personal goals.
- Ask general questions as well as specific ones. Ask something like "How can I make my drawing look more realistic?" or "Have you ever tried to learn something that was really hard at first? How did you get better?"
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Be positive and polite. An esteemed and much-loved author once said, “Babies, be kind.” Believe it or not, he was talking to adults, but the advice holds for kids of any age. Perhaps the best way to initiate a friendship with someone is simply being polite! [5] X Expert Source Ashley Pritchard, MA
Academic & School Counselor Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.- If you each have a moment when you pass one another in the hallway, stop to chat. Ask something like "What's the next thing you're looking forward to?" You may even learn something new and interesting about your teacher.
- You can keep it simple too. A quick “see you tomorrow” on the way out of class lets your teacher know you’re glad to be in their class – and that alone is significant.
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Ask questions outside of class. In the most literal sense, "getting along" doesn’t mean much more than communicating in a way that both you and your teacher enjoy. Good communication is based on clearly sharing one’s thoughts and needs with one another, and listening enough to understand what the other is saying. [6] X Research source
- Don’t hesitate to ask your teacher questions about life outside of the material you’re learning in the classroom.
- For instance, if you’ve been wondering about how to approach a certain issue with one of your friends, say something like “Can I ask you about something that’s not related to class?” Your teacher will likely be happy to talk to you about whatever.
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Find out what they’re interested in. One of the best ways to enrich your relationship with another human being is by learning more about them. The best way to do this is to ask! For instance, ask your teacher questions like “Why did you decide to become a teacher?” or “What do you like most about teaching?”
- Not only do these sorts of questions lead to quality conversations, you’ll also come to recognize the sorts of things and ideas that your teacher values.
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Thank your teacher. At the conclusion of a course, thank your teacher by saying something like, “Thanks for teaching us this year. I appreciate your willingness to learn and grow with us.” This pertains to both the teachers you became friends with, and those you don’t. Chances are, you will likely think of some of your teachers years after you took their classes. [7] X Expert Source Ashley Pritchard, MA
Academic & School Counselor Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.- It may be easier to convey your gratitude in a letter. Remember that your teacher will likely be happy to hear your appreciation. Include an illustration if you're feeling creative - it may even end up on the wall of your teacher's office.
- In the future, whenever you’re back in town, make a point of visiting old teachers. They will immensely appreciate this gesture, as it indicates that you value the impact they made on your life.
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Imagine yourself becoming a teacher. It’s totally alright if you have no intentions of being a teacher when you grow up. Either way, picture yourself as a teacher. Remind yourself that your teacher chose to make a career of sharing new ideas and information with kids like you. Chances are, watching you learn is deeply rewarding for them.
- Ask yourself: If you were a teacher, what sort of relationship would you want with your students?
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Don’t worry if your teacher corrects you. Remind yourself that your teacher has a job to do. If they take that job seriously, that means they’ll need to correct and even discipline you and other students from time to time. For instance, if you make an error in class and your teacher points it out, don’t let it bother you. It’s not an attack on you personally, they’re simply teaching you by pointing out something that is incorrect.
- Similarly, if you’re caught passing a note or otherwise not paying attention, don’t overreact. Your teacher is not attacking you, they are simply bringing your attention back to the classroom.
- Apologize after class and know that your teacher will forgive you.
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Address any issues. If it feels like you and a teacher don’t get along, stay calm. Sometimes, personalities clash. Simply fulfill your responsibilities as a student and don’t worry too much about a teacher that is unfriendly. If a teacher is aggressively mean or rude to you in any way, tell both your parents and/or a guidance counselor. [8] X Research source
- If you feel the need to do so, request a meeting with the teacher and another adult. This can be helpful to discuss any potential problems and create a more comfortable atmosphere for both you and your teacher.
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Keep it professional. Think of your relationship with your teacher as your first “professional” relationship. For the rest of your life, you’ll need to be able to interact with other people, and you won’t necessarily enjoy everyone you interact with. Understand that you don’t need to be friends with someone to have a healthy relationship with them. Focus on paying attention in class and behaving, and your teacher will likely recognize your efforts. [9] X Research source
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Respect boundaries. You may find yourself getting along particularly well with one of your teachers. Recognize that their position as a teacher, and yours as a student, requires that certain types of relationships are illegal. More specifically, you cannot become romantically involved with your teacher. Ethics and morality aside, a romantic relationship places your teacher's career at risk, and may even result in criminal proceedings. [10] X Research source
- Do not attempt to flirt with your teacher. This places them in an uncomfortable position, and is disrespectful to them and your other classmates.
- If a teacher makes romantic comments towards you, politely point out that you are their student. If you are in any way uncomfortable with what a teacher says to you, tell your parents as well as another school employee.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I impress my teacher?Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.Listen actively in class and complete your work. Try to participate in class discussions and ask questions. Remember, you have an entire school year to impress your teacher! You don't need to go out of your way to do something unique in the first few weeks of school. Just be respectful, friendly, and stay engaged.
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QuestionDo people have to do this to be best friends with a teacher?Community AnswerThe important things to remember about becoming friends with someone, including your teacher, are simple: Be respectful, listen when they're talking to you, and appreciate the time you spend together.
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QuestionWhat should I do if my teacher is a racist?Community AnswerThey might not realize they are being racist. If that is the case, point that out to them. It can be face-to-face or in a letter, but be sure to be polite about it. If you know for certain they are trying to be this way, get another faculty member involved, as well as your parent(s)/guardian(s).
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References
- ↑ Ashley Pritchard, MA. Academic & School Counselor. Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/school-counselors.html?ref=search
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/school-counselors.html?ref=search
- ↑ Ashley Pritchard, MA. Academic & School Counselor. Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.
- ↑ Ashley Pritchard, MA. Academic & School Counselor. Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/school-counselors.html?ref=search
- ↑ Ashley Pritchard, MA. Academic & School Counselor. Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/school-counselors.html?ref=search
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/school-counselors.html?ref=search
About This Article
Article Summary
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It may be difficult to become friends with one of your teachers while you're a student, since teachers need to maintain a professional distance from their students. However, if you want to get to know your teacher better, try offering to help with classroom tasks. This will allow you to spend more time with your teacher as well as learn more about the subject they teach. Outside of the classroom, try joining any extracurricular activities your teacher leads. This will allow you to talk to your teacher about topics other than schoolwork. Keep reading to learn more tips on how to befriend your teacher while also keeping the relationship professional.
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"We got a new band director this year and I feel like he could use a friend at school. I also find him very interesting and fun, so this friendship should go well."
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"Participating in class."
