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Self-confidence can be a really slippery slope, especially if you tend to be hard on yourself. Don’t worry—there are plenty of easy, constructive ways you can build your confidence, and feel really proud of the way you look. We’ll start with tips to help you work through feelings you might be experiencing, then get into ideas for improving your self-image and creating healthy, body-positive habits.

1

Ignore media beauty standards.

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  1. With photo editing and filters, even celebrities don’t look like the photos of themselves most of the time! It can be tough to change your mindset, but remind yourself that most beauty standards aren’t realistic, and you shouldn’t hold yourself to them. [1]
    • If you’re feeling intimidated by media beauty standards, criticize them in return. You might say something like, “What’s so special about being a size 0?” or “Who cares if I look like the celebrities in magazines?”
    • Most celebrity pictures are edited to eliminate flaws and make the person look skinnier. Celebrities themselves recommend not comparing yourself to magazine covers and photoshoots!
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4

Write down compliments that other people give you.

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5

Let negative comments go.

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  1. Remind yourself that you have control over your thoughts and feelings. If someone criticizes you or makes a judgmental comment, redirect your thoughts and energy to challenging their statement. Chances are, your feelings will match up with your attitude. [3]
    • For example, if someone makes a negative comment about your outfit, think to yourself, “I look great in this outfit” or “They have no idea what they’re talking about.”
    • At the end of the day, your thoughts and opinions about your appearance are the only ones that matter.
    Selena Gomez, Founder, Rare Beauty

    Don't let social media affect your well-being. "You are not defined by an Instagram photo, by a like, by a comment. That does not define you."

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6

Foster self-love in a gratitude journal.

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9

Be kind to yourself.

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  1. Oftentimes, we’re much more critical of ourselves than we are of others. If you catch yourself thinking badly about your appearance, ask yourself if you’d talk to a friend that way. Then, adjust your thinking until you’d be comfortable telling a friend the same things you tell yourself. [6]
    • For example, you’d never tell a friend, “You look so ugly today.” Instead, change it into a kindness by thinking, “Even though I’m not wearing makeup, my skin still looks really good.”
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Authenticity and confidence attract people who love you for who you are. Focus on building inner strength, self-love, and a unique personality. Feeling good about yourself creates the allure that will draw someone special in.

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12

Wear comfy clothes that flatter your shape.

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  1. If you’re wearing clothes that don’t fit quite right or make you uncomfortable, you probably aren’t going to feel great about your appearance for the day. Instead, pick an outfit that really suits your body type —this way, you can feel confident, comfortable, and proud throughout the day.
    • For instance, you might wear a pair of jeggings instead of a tight pair of skinny jeans.
    • You might switch out a comfortable T-shirt instead of a cramped polo shirt.
    • It’s okay if you don’t feel confident at first! There’s nothing wrong with having a “fake it until you make it” attitude. [9]
13

Stick to a diet and exercise routine.

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  1. Instead of trying to lose weight or meet a certain beauty standard, just focus on eating healthy, balanced meals and exercising a few times per week. When you feel good, you look good, too! [10]
    • Everyone’s diet is slightly different, and the same meal plan won’t work for everyone. In general, try to eat 3 balanced meals per day with plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains.
    • Aim for getting 30 minutes of exercise per day, 5 days a week. You could try jogging, swimming, jumping rope, weight training, or cycling as a fun way to stay healthy. [11]
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you get pride in your appearance?
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Confidence Coach
    Jennifer Butler is a Love & Transformation Coach and the Owner of JennJoyCoaching, a life coaching business based in Miami, Florida, although Jennifer works with clients all over the world. Jennifer’s work centers around empowering women who are navigating any stage of the divorce or breakup process. She has over four years of life coaching experience. She is also the co-host of the Deep Chats Podcast along with Leah Morris and the host of season 2 “Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle” by Worthy. Her work has been featured in ESME, DivorceForce, and Divorced Girl Smiling. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from New York University. She is also a Certified Health Coach, a Communications & Life Mastery Specialist, and a Certified Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “the One” coach.
    Confidence Coach
    Expert Answer
    Fall in love with your appearance in the mirror. Your cellulite, your stretch marks from your babies, all of it. When you love yourself and everything about your body, it's hard for other people not to feel the same way too.
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      Tips

      • Ultimately, self-acceptance starts with a single choice. If you make an active choice to love and accept yourself, your personal view of yourself will change for the better. [12]
      • It’s perfectly normal to have bad days where you’re a little harder on yourself than usual.
      • Take a step back and count how many times you typically criticize or think negatively in a single day. Try to stop these thoughts in their tracks to change your self-image.
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      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To be proud of your appearance, try learning to love the body you have by wearing clothing that is flattering and makes you feel good. If you're still struggling to feel good, try smiling as much as you can. Smiling can sometimes trick your body into thinking it's happy, which will in turn make you feel happier and better about your appearance. Alternatively, if you're struggling to take pride in your appearance because you're comparing yourself to others, try focusing on yourself and the things that make you unique, whether that be the color of your hair or a scar on your chin. To learn how to redefine your definition of beauty to be proud of your appearance, read more from our Counselor co-author!

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