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Learn to seduce someone effortlessly and confidently
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Being seductive requires the right body language and personality. Strive to make eye contact and add subtle touch to situations. Listen to what the other person says and make them feel special. In terms of your outfit, opt for clothing that flatters your body and attracts some attention. We talked to dating coaches and fashion experts to show you how to use seductive body language, spice up your personality, and look good while you do it.
How to Seduce Someone
Relationship expert Joshua Pompey suggests flirting playfully to be seductive. Give them compliments, make a physical connection with small touches, and dress for the date in clothes that flatter your body and make you feel good about yourself. Be a bit mysterious to leave them wanting more.
Steps
Section 1 of 3:
Using Seductive Body Language
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Make and hold eye contact to show your interest. Dating coach David Kornel Z tells us to “express interest…through eye contact.” Eye contact is one of the easiest ways to show someone that they have your attention. Lock eyes with the person you're trying to attract, give it a moment to linger, then blink slowly while looking away and smiling to really rev their engine.
- If the person walks over to begin a conversation, maintain eye contact as you talk. People are attracted to those who pay attention to them. Holding someone's gaze can help them feel special, making you come off as seductive.
- Hold eye contact for a few seconds at a time. Too much eye contact can be intense, or awkward. Also, try not to stare at people you aren’t actively talking to.
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Keep your facial expressions relaxed and pleasant. Certain facial expressions are read as more seductive than others. When trying to attract someone, subtlety is key in your facial expression. Instead of beaming at the other person, give them a small, sly smile. [1] X Research source
- Unclench your jaw, make sure your brows are relaxed, and that you’re not scowling—it’s an easy habit to fall into.
- If things are getting flirty, feel free to lick or bite your lip, which is a classic move. Remember, though, keep it subtle!
- Another flirty expression is to tilt your chin down and look up at the person, which is sly and a little sexy.
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Use proper, upright posture, but keep it casual. Proper posture can convey interest, and tells people you care about your appearance, while bad posture might make it seem like you’re closed off or uncaring. Work on maintaining an open posture to show the person you're interested in them. Face them when they speak, keep your shoulders relaxed and slightly back, and your back straight. [2] X Research source
- Also, lean slightly toward the person. This shows that you’re interested and attentive.
- Avoid doing things like crossing your arms or leaning away, which are defensive. Avoid putting anything, like a purse or bag, on your lap.
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Use small, respectful touches to make a physical connection. If the person seems open to your flirtation , introduce light touch. Dating coach Candice Mostisser says that “touching a hand over another hand, putting a hand on a leg temporarily, coming around a table if you're sitting across from somebody to come sit next to them,” are powerful ways to flirt. Keep it subtle, small, and respectful, and back away if they flinch or pull away.
- It’s always a good idea to ask permission, too. Say, “Can I sit closer?” or, “Is this too close?” Asking permission is a huge green flag itself!
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Keep your voice smooth, soft, and pleasant. Pay attention to the tone you're using when talking. Dating coach Eddy Baller says a voice that’s too soft can come across as insecure. Instead, speak in a soft and friendly voice that the other person can easily hear. Pace your words, and enunciate . Avoid raising your voice or talking too loud. This can come as angry, and can dampen someone's interest in you.
- Sometimes, though, lowering your voice just a bit, so that the other person has to lean in a little to hear, can be super seductive. Remember, though, it’s better to be heard than have them miss what you’re saying.
- Another hot tip: Say their name now and then when speaking to them. Sprinkling it in 1-2 times per conversation has an attractive effect, and makes them feel seen and special.
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Smile and laugh to show you’re enjoying yourself. You don’t have to be a total, closed-off mystery, or overly stiff. A natural smile and laugh, on occasion, can make you come off as fun and lighthearted, which is sexy! If they tell a joke or say something funny, offer a big smile and a giggle. People feel flattered by someone who laughs at their jokes.
- Coming off as overly serious can make you seem pretentious, or like a wet blanket. People want someone they can have fun with.
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Imitate their body language to match their vibe. Mirroring someone’s body language shows that you’re on the same wavelength and brings you closer together. [3] X Research source Don’t just imitate their every move, though. Instead, match their energy to make them comfortable and help them put down their guard.
- For example, if they seem to be keeping their distance, respect that while still making eye contact.
- On the other hand, if they’re leaning close to you, lean in yourself to help bridge the gap.
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Section 2 of 3:
Cultivating a Seductive Personality
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Offer a polite compliment to show you care. Compliments are great, but don’t overdo it. “Complimenting can be used minimally,” Mostisser says, “in the sense that you want to reassure the person sitting across from you that you're glad that they in particular are there.” It makes them feel special and shows that you appreciate them. But stick to just 1 or 2—too much and it can get weird.
- Give compliments that make people feel special. For example, say something like, "It sounds like you work really hard. I bet you put in more effort than most into teaching."
- Avoid commenting on their body or appearance, unless it’s something they chose themselves, like their necklace or dyed hair color.
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Listen attentively to their stories, and share your own. Baller tells us to “try to make a connection with them and learn about them” instead of trying to impress or entertain them. People are attracted to people willing to forge a connection with them. Pay attention when they speak and share things about themselves, and offer your own personal stories, too. Simply exchanging information with someone can make you more attractive to them. [4] X Research source
- When someone else is talking, give non-verbal cues to show you are listening. Nod, smile, and laugh when appropriate. Ask them questions about what they said. Occasionally, reiterate what the other person has said to make sure you understood it.
- Answer questions the other person may have about you. Be willing to talk about your own job, friends, life, and family. Don’t dominate the conversation, but create a sense of intimacy by openly sharing.
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Be your true, authentic self. “You really don't want to start off playing games” says Mostisser. When you pretend to be someone you’re not, the other person will find out sooner rather than later. You don’t have to appeal to everyone! But when you’re true to yourself , the right person will find that automatically seductive, and you won’t even have to try.
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Suggest plans together to see them again. Mostisser reveals that “making theoretical plans together” is a powerful form of flirting. It shows that you’re invested, and want to see them again. But don’t just make a date and time for a restaurant—find something that you both enjoy and connect with and suggest you do it together.
- For example, if they mention they like movies, say, “Oh? I’ve been meaning to see this new film. We should see it together!”
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Leave the person wanting more. A little bit of mystery is seductive, but too much mystery is a turn-off. [5] X Research source When first meeting someone, be open about yourself, and don’t hide anything, but also be the one to put an end to phone conversations, dates, and other get-togethers. If you say goodbye first, the person will be left wanting a little more.
- That said, avoid playing games. Only leave if it makes sense to do so. For example, if it's getting late on a date, it's okay to duck out. If you’re both having fun, feel free to stay!
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Section 3 of 3:
Looking Seductive
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Wash up before you go out. Good hygiene makes you way more attractive, and that’s a fact. [6] X Research source Before you go out, hop into the shower and lather up with soap. Brush your teeth, lotion your hands, and throw on some deodorant. You’ve got much better chances with a special someone if they can tell that you take care of yourself.
- It’s also a good idea to carry mints and deodorant in your bag, so you have them handy in a pinch.
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Wear clothes that make you feel confident. There is no one outfit that is universally seductive, but the better you feel, the sexier you’ll be. It will take some experimentation for you to find a seductive look that works for you. Try on a variety of clothing until you find something that flatters your body. Different cuts of shirts, suits, dresses, and jeans will work for different people. Celeb stylist Kalee Hewitt recommends finding “basics,” like shirts, pants, and other staples that work for you, then accessorizing on top.
- Wear something that shows off your best qualities. For example, if you have very muscular arms, go for a short sleeve t-shirt or button-down.
- Showing a little skin goes a long way. No matter your gender, showing off your collarbone, for example, is super hot.
EXPERT TIPRelationship ExpertJoshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.Try to prepare for the date in a way that's seductive. You want the other person to sit up and take notice when they see you. For instance, you might wear your sharpest-looking outfit. Take the time to style your hair properly, and put a little effort into your makeup if you wear it.
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Wear red to catch their eye. It’s a scientific fact that people see the color red as seductive. [7] X Research source So why not add some red to your outfit? Wear a red dress or a suit with a red undershirt. Try a flattering red blouse, t-shirt, or button down shirt.
- Or, work it into your accessories. A red hair clip, tie, bracelet, or even socks can add an irresistible pop of color.
- Hewlett tells us that a “red lip is a great statement,” so don't be afraid of choosing a bold lipstick.
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Wear a signature fragrance to leave your mark. Seductive scents can really up your game. It helps build associations—when you smell nice , the other person feels more positively. Pick out some pleasant scents of perfume or cologne. Before going out, dab them on your wrists or behind your ears. A nice, fresh scent can be very seductive. [8] X Research source
- In general, avoid anything overpowering. Stick to subtle scents , like vanilla, over dramatic floral or musky scents. Some people may be bothered by strong smells.
- On the other hand, you should wear whatever scent makes you happiest and feel your best. If that’s a powerful fragrance, then go for it!
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Keep your hair clean and shiny. How you wear your hair matters less than how clean and healthy it is. [9] X Trustworthy Source Science Direct Online archive of peer-reviewed research on scientific, technical and medical topics Go to source However you style it, keep it washed and shiny . Wash your hair before going out and use a small amount of product, like mousse or gel, to give it an extra gleam.
- Sweet-smelling shampoos can also help give you a seductive scent.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat is seductive behavior?Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.Try touching the person on the arm when you're talking, or grab their hand for a second, then let it go.
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QuestionHow can I be seductive with words?Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.Keep things light and playful. If you want to be more seductive, avoid being too serious. Don't treat the other person like they're one of the guys, but don't treat them like they're on an interview, either.
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QuestionCan I do this if I want to seduce another woman?Community AnswerThese techniques should generally work on both men and women.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201602/6-seductive-body-language-channels
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201602/6-seductive-body-language-channels
- ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/mirroring-body-language-attraction/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dreaming-freud/201408/what-makes-someone-seductive
- ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/mysterious-on-dates-issue
- ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2542893/
- ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10089354/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201602/6-seductive-body-language-channels
- ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022202X15526559
About This Article
Article Summary
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To be seductive, use subtle facial expressions, like a small, sly smile or a longing gaze coupled with a closed-mouth smile. In addition to your expressions, pay attention to your body language, which should be open and inviting. For example, try leaning slightly toward the person while talking to them to show a genuine interest in them. If the person seems open to your flirtation, add some small, gentle touches, like brushing the person’s knee or arm during a chat. You’ll also want to choose a seductive style by wearing clothes that show off your best qualities, like a short sleeve shirt to emphasize toned arms. To learn how to wear a seductive scent, keep reading!
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