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Subtle body language and behavior clues that show a man is into you
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This article was written by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden
. Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.
There are 10 references
cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 292,736 times.
Whether he’s your partner, your crush, or just a friend, figuring out if a guy is sexually attracted to you can sometimes feel like a 1,000-piece puzzle. But even if he’s tough to read, there are some surefire behavioral and body language cues you won’t be able to miss. Read through our comprehensive list of signs to figure out if he’s harboring sexual feelings for you, as well as how you can send your own signals back.
This article is based on an interview with our licensed relationship therapist, Alysha Jeney, owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the co-founder of The Modern Love Box. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
- A guy might be sexually attracted to you if he makes flirty eye contact with you and can’t stop smiling around you.
- He might also like you if he touches you often and makes an effort to lean in close to you.
- A man is probably sexually attracted to you if you catch him staring at you or scanning your body up and down.
Steps
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Intense eye contact usually means someone is into you. When you two chat, does he always make a point to look you in the eyes? He’s showing you that he’s super interested in what you’re saying, and that he’s likely attracted to you, too. [1] X Research source
- When you notice a lot of eye contact, maintain eye contact with him, too. This sends the signal that you notice his attention and you’re reciprocating it.
- Reader Poll: We asked 570 wikiHow readers, and 56% of them agreed that the strongest indicator that a guy is interested in you is if he makes frequent eye contact . [Take Poll]
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When he smiles, he wants to put you at ease and show he likes you. If you notice that your guy can’t stop grinning around you, take that as a great sign. Humans naturally smile at those we are attracted to. [2] X Research source
- To show this guy that you’re interested, smile and grin back at him. This will show that you’re having a good time talking to him, and he’ll feel confident in trying to make a move on you.
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People mirror someone’s body language when they like them. Do a little experiment: when you take a sip of your drink, does he take a sip of his? If you put your hands on your hips, does he copy you? If you notice him mimicking your every move, it likely means that he’s attracted to you. [3] X Research source
- Humans do this subconsciously, so it’s unlikely that he knows that he’s doing it.
- If you want to flirt back, try copying his body language, too. You don’t have to be super obvious about it, but if he crosses his legs, try crossing yours, too.
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A light touch shows that he’s interested in getting closer to you. Have you ever noticed that when you like someone, you’ll pat them on the shoulder or reach out and touch their hand? He might do the same thing: if he is sexually attracted to you, you’ll probably notice him brushing up against you as often as he can. [4] X Research source
- Want to encourage his attraction? Close the physical gap between you two. Scooch in close or give his arm a pat every once in a while to show him you’re interested.
Quiz
wikiHow Quiz: Does He Like Me?
Some guys can feel like a total mystery. How can you figure out if he likes you as just a friend—or if he wants something more? Take this quiz to find out!
1 of 15
When you two are in a room filled with other people, how often do you catch him staring at you?
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Leaning in means he wants to get closer to you. Similar to a physical touch, someone leaning in close to you probably likes you. You might notice him bringing his body closer to yours every time you two chat. [5] X Research source
- If you also like this guy, lean in close to him, too. This shows that you want to get closer to him, and you aren’t afraid to show it.
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When a guy likes someone, they often feel a little anxious about it. Maybe you notice that he starts playing with his clothes when you walk in the room, or he just can’t seem to sit still when you glance his way. Take this as a good sign: if you’re making him nervous, he’s probably sexually attracted to you. [6] X Research source
- To flirt heavily with this guy, try lightly teasing him about his nervousness. Say something like, “Just can’t sit still, huh? Am I making you nervous?”
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Humans naturally blush when we see someone attractive. Similarly, you might notice that his face looks a little dewy, or he seems hot and bothered. This is when you know you’re really affecting him—his body is automatically reacting to just how much he likes you. [7] X Research source
- If you notice that he seems flustered around you, try putting him at ease. Gently touch him on the arm and keep making eye contact with him so that he knows you like him, too.
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Showing interest on social media means he’s interested in real life. Is he constantly leaving cute comments or replying to your stories? Does he like your posts the minute that they’re uploaded? Stalking your socials definitely means he’s into you. [8] X Research source
- To reciprocate the attention, try to match his behavior. Like his posts and reply to his stories, too, so that he knows you’re into him.
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Complimenting you physically means he’s checking you out. Maybe he can’t stop talking about how good your new outfit looks, or how much he likes your hair. When he notices your physical features, you can almost always bet that there’s sexual attraction there. [9] X Research source
- Similarly, if he compliments your personality, he might actually have real feelings for you.
- Want to repay the favor? Give him a compliment on his body, too. Tell him how nice his muscles are looking or how well that new shirt matches the color of his eyes.
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Looking you up and down means he likes what he sees. He might try to make it subtle, but you can almost always tell. If you see him scanning your body or lingering on one particular area, you can probably guess what’s going on in his mind. [10] X Research source
- If you catch him checking you out, maintain eye contact and give him a smile. This lets him know that yup, you caught him, and yup, you’re interested.
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Studies show that people will pitch their voice down when talking to someone attractive. It can be subtle, but if you really listen, you’ll hear it—when he’s talking to someone he’s not interested in, his voice will be just slightly higher than when he’s talking to someone he’s attracted to. [11] X Research source Try comparing the tone of his voice the next time you two chat.
- Interestingly enough, researchers found that both men and women do this.
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Our pupils get bigger when we see someone attractive. This is a body language tell that he won’t be able to fake. When you first go up to him, look deep into his eyes and pay attention to his pupils. If he’s into you, they’ll get noticeably wider the first time he sees you. [12] X Research source
- Keep in mind that pupils also dilate in response to light changes. So if you walk into a super dark room, his pupils will also dilate right then.
- Want to be super flirtatious? Call him out! Say, “Did you know your pupils just dilated? I think that means you think I’m cute.”
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If he makes a point to talk to you, he’s probably interested in you. He might approach you in person to chat, or he might send you lots of texts throughout the day. If he seems hesitant to let the conversation die, he probably likes you. [13] X Research source
- To show your interest, start conversations and keep them going, too. He’ll appreciate the effort, and it will let him know that you’re into him.
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Being overly interested in who you’re dating could mean he’s jealous. Does this guy ask about everyone you go on dates with? Does he seem a little put out when you mention a new date? If so, he might be signaling to you (in his own way) that he wants to be the one you’re dating. [14] X Research source
- If you want to be bold, try gently teasing him about it. Say, “Oh, you don’t want to hear about my date last night? What’s wrong—are you jealous?”
- For a more subtle approach, stop telling him about your love life at all. That way, he’ll feel more confident in making a move.
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One-on-one time usually means that someone likes you. Have you noticed that this guy always wants to hang out alone? It’s probably because he wants to spend quality time together, just the two of you. Or, if he’s really into you, he might even want to make a move. [15] X Research source
- If you’re into this guy, accept his invitation to hang out one-on-one with him. Just make sure you feel comfortable and safe.
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He’s sitting or standing nearby because he wants to be close to you. If you see him out in public, he might cross the room to come stand next to you. If you’re sitting at a table, he’ll probably pull up a chair right across from you. This need to be near you is driven by his attraction. [16] X Research source
- Drop a not-so-subtle hint by leaning in close to him every time you’re nearby. This shows that you like the attention and you want him to keep seeking you out.
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Guys often use humor to get people to like them. When you two hang out, is he constantly telling you lame jokes or trying to make you chuckle? Humor is a great way to disarm someone and make them develop feelings, so that could be his end-game. [17] X Research source
- Show off your sense of humor too so he knows just how goofy you can be. Pull out your best jokes and make him laugh so he becomes even more attracted to you.
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He keeps looking at you because he likes what he sees. Maybe you catch him looking at you from across the room, or he gazes at you as you tell him a funny story. Take this as a great sign: if he can’t look away, you’ve got him totally enraptured. [18] X Research source
- When you catch his eye, give him a smile and even a little wink to show that you like the attention.
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Drawing attention to his lips means he’s sending you a signal. Humans do this subconsciously, so he’s probably not aware of what he’s doing. But if he can’t stop touching or licking his lips, he’s probably imagining what it might feel like to kiss you. [19] X Research source
- Try drawing attention to your lips to tease him even more. Lick or even bite your lower lip to send him a subtle message.
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He’s making himself look better so you’ll notice him. You might find that he touches his hair or fixes his shirt collar when you walk into the room. He’s probably not even aware that he’s doing it, but he is doing it to impress you. He wants to look his best when he sees you! [20] X Research source
- Show that you noticed (and appreciate) his efforts by giving him a compliment on his looks.
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Guys sit with their legs wide open to draw your attention down there. Yes, it’s true—if you notice that he’s sitting back with his legs spread, he’s subconsciously trying to give you a peek at his, ah… package. Fortunately, most guys aren’t aware they’re doing this, so you can take this as a positive sign rather than a creepy red flag. [21] X Research source
- He might also stand with his legs wide and his hands on his hips for the same reason.
- With this body language cue, it’s best not to stare down there too much. Keep your eyes on his and use other flirting techniques to show you’re interested.
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References
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-20764-001
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-20764-001
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-20764-001
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a36457/things-his-body-language-signs-hes-into-you/
- ↑ https://www.cnn.com/2016/02/12/health/your-body-on-love/index.html
- ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/z3x4pj/what-it-means-when-someone-likes-your-instagram-posts
- ↑ https://rendezvousmag.com/how-to-know-if-a-guy-likes-you-through-texting/
- ↑ https://www.today.com/health/18-body-language-clues-say-he-s-interested-definitely-t72476
- ↑ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10919-010-0087-9
- ↑ https://www.cnn.com/2016/02/12/health/your-body-on-love/index.html
- ↑ https://rendezvousmag.com/how-to-know-if-a-guy-likes-you-through-texting/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201504/jealousy-hurts-love-or-does-it
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a36457/things-his-body-language-signs-hes-into-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
- ↑ https://news.ku.edu/2015/08/27/first-comes-laughter-then-love-study-finds-out-why-humor-important-romantic-attraction
- ↑ https://www.today.com/health/18-body-language-clues-say-he-s-interested-definitely-t72476
- ↑ https://www.today.com/health/18-body-language-clues-say-he-s-interested-definitely-t72476
- ↑ https://www.today.com/health/18-body-language-clues-say-he-s-interested-definitely-t72476
- ↑ https://www.today.com/health/18-body-language-clues-say-he-s-interested-definitely-t72476
About This Article
This article was written by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden
. Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post. This article has been viewed 292,736 times.
70 votes - 80%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: May 17, 2024
Views: 292,736
Categories: Flirting
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 292,736 times.
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