Effective Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills

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Communicate clearly and listen actively in any situation
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Have you ever dealt with a simple misunderstanding that could have been resolved with more communication? Effective communication is about expressing your feelings clearly and concisely while listening to another person's body language and perspectives. Someone with strong communication skills can build positive rapport, strengthen their relationships, and resolve conflicts. This guide can teach you the basics so you can get your point across quickly and calmly.

Things You Should Know

  • To better your communication in a work or academic setting, organize your thoughts beforehand, keep your audience in mind, and listen attentively to differing ideas.
  • Improve your communication in personal relationships by using "I" statements to express your feelings and ask questions to show you're listening.
  • Effective communication is the process of expressing your thoughts, opinions, and ideas while listening to the input of others.
Section 1 of 3:

How to Communicate Effectively in the Workplace

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  1. Before you attempt to communicate ideas, organize your thoughts using key points. A good rule of thumb is to choose three main points to center your conversation around. That way, if you wind up on a tangent, you'll be able to return to one or more of your points without being flustered. [1]
    • If possible, write your talking points down on your phone's Notes app or an index card for reference. This will help you stay on topic and be crystal clear about your intent.
    • If you're giving a presentation, don't be afraid to use visual aids to get your point across. You can also highlight important keywords or ideas on a whiteboard or PowerPoint.
    • Don't be afraid to use acronyms or phrases that will stick in people's minds. Confident, well-known speakers often reuse their key lines over and over for emphasis and reinforcement.
  2. If you're giving a presentation, consider the interests, commonalities, differences, and anticipated levels of knowledge on the topic you're speaking on. For instance, if you’re lecturing a college-level Biology course, students should have a good grasp of evolution and cell theory. It may help to put yourself in the audience's shoes. Ask yourself, "What kind of information would I want to walk away with?" [2]
    • Similarly, if you're lecturing students, you may want to opt for visual aids like videos or memes to capture their attention.
    • Use graphs or charts in professional environments when presenting new ideas to clients or stakeholders.
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  3. When you’re having a serious conversation, the last thing you want is to be interrupted by a phone call. Turn your phone on Do Not Disturb, and if you have a radio or television in your office, turn it off.
    • If you’re in a public space, like a restaurant, wait until your waiter has taken your order to limit any interruptions.
  4. Be clear about your goal so your message comes across in a way that every listener can understand. This requires using simpler words rather than more complex ones.
    • Similarly, be sure to enunciate clearly to avoid any kind of misunderstanding. You want to speak at a volume level that is guaranteed to be heard and doesn't come across as too quiet or disengaged.
    • It may be helpful to remember the 5 C's of communication, which include clarity, conciseness, consistency, connection, and confidence. [3]
  5. Monotone voices may not always be pleasing to the ear, so good communicators use vocal color to enhance their message. Yale University recommends [4] that you:
    • Raise the pitch and volume of your voice when you transition from one topic or point to another.
    • Increase your volume and slow the delivery whenever you raise a special point or are summing up.
    • Speak briskly but pause to emphasize keywords when requesting action.
  6. Eye contact builds rapport, helps convince others you're trustworthy and shows interest. During a conversation or presentation, maintain eye contact for as long as it feels natural. Generally, you'll want to aim for 2 to 4 seconds at a time. [5]
    • Remember to take in all of your audience. If you're addressing a boardroom, look each member in the eye. Neglecting any single person can easily be taken as a sign of offense.
    • If you're addressing an audience, pause and make eye contact with a member of the audience for up to two seconds before breaking away and resuming your talk. This helps individuals feel personally valued.
    • Be aware that eye contact is culturally ordained. In some cultures, it is considered to be unsettling or inappropriate. Ask about this in particular or do research in advance.
  7. Practice active listening skills . Communication is a two-way street. By actively listening, you can gauge how much of your message is getting through your listener(s) and whether or not it's being received correctly or needs to be tweaked.
    • If your audience needs clarification, asking for feedback is often helpful. You can also ask the listener(s) to reflect back on what you said but in their own words. This can help you identify and correct mistaken views.
    • If someone is struggling to understand a topic, be sure to validate people's feelings. This will encourage them to open up and feel better.
  8. Be conscious of what your hands are saying as you speak. Some hand gestures can effectively highlight your points (open gestures), while others can be distracting and may shut down the conversation (closed gestures). Generally, the most effective gestures are natural, slow, and emphatic.
    • Similarly, be aware of if your eyes wander or if you're constantly sniffling, shuffling, or rocking. These small gestures add up and are all guaranteed to dampen the effectiveness of your message.
    • It's also helpful to be aware of these signs in your audience. Common signs someone isn't listening to you include looking bored, yawning, fidgeting, and silence. [6]
  9. Strive to reflect passion and generate listener empathy using soft, gentle, aware facial expressions. Avoid negative facial expressions, such as frowns or raised eyebrows, as this may signal judgment.
    • What is or isn't negative depends on the context, especially the cultural context. Be quick to identify unexpected behaviors, such as a clenched fist, slouched posture, or even silence. [7]
    • If you need to learn the culture, ask questions about the communication challenges you might face before you start to speak with (or to) people in an unfamiliar cultural context.
  10. Whether you’re communicating through text, email, video, or audio calls, there’s plenty of room for miscommunication online. After conducting a meeting, summarize any important details in a follow-up email. Don't forget to respond if you’re receiving an email like this. Even if it’s an informal, “Okay, sounds good!” It lets the other person know you’ve read and received their message.
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Section 2 of 3:

How to Communicate Better in Relationships

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  1. If you can control your environment, it’s important to remember there’s a time and place for everything. For instance, you may not want to end a 6-year relationship in the middle of a restaurant. Opt for private spaces, like your home or bedroom. [8]
    • Similarly, avoid sorting through major issues in the evening, as the other person may be tired after a long day. Opt for the mornings or afternoons when people are more alert and available.
  2. This will make the other person more receptive and empathetic to your concerns or issues. [9] For instance, instead of saying, "You're sloppy and it drives me crazy," try "I feel that different levels of messiness might be a problem for us. Clutter seems to work into my mind and limit what I feel I can do."
  3. These three things often says more than the words you use. [10] For instance, saying "I love you" in a flat voice can be insincere or disinterested compared to a higher-pitched voice that signals excitement and passion. Tone can help you build rapport, connect, influence others, and get what you want in your relationship.
    • Try pausing before speaking to consider how you want to deliver your message.
    • If you're dealing with conflict in your relationship, speak in a calm, leveled voice. Don't yell or make accusations about the other person or their actions.
  4. In any healthy relationship (platonic or romantic), there should be an equal amount of give and take. Compromises allow both individuals to find a new solution so no one feels undervalued or manipulated. [11]
    • Let's say you want to spend your weekend indoors, but your partner wants to go on a trip. To compromise, you agree to spend the weekend at home, but you'll plan a little weekend getaway for the following weekend.
  5. A key component of active listening is allowing the other person to say how they feel. Wait until they're finished talking before beginning to speak yourself.
    • Make a mental note if you have something that can't wait. Or, politely interrupt by saying, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I feel it's important to add…" [12]
  6. Some conversations are hard, and feeling overwhelmed by your emotions is okay. Be prepared to take a break from the discussion so you can calm down and get your thoughts in order. [13] Similarly, if your partner walks out of the room, don't follow them. Allow them to return when they're ready.
    • Don't try to get the last word in, as this can escalate the power struggle. Sometimes, you have to agree to disagree and move on.
  7. If you don't fully understand another person's feelings or opinions, ask questions to understand their perspective better. It helps to ask open clarifying questions, which often take the form of when, why, where, or how questions. On the other hand, closed questions reiterate part of the message for the speaker to confirm or deny. [14]
    • An example of an open question could be, "Why do you feel like me forgetting to take out the trash upset you so much?"
    • A closed question could be, "Are you sure setting a reminder on your phone will work?"
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Section 3 of 3:

What is effective communication?

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  1. No matter your age or background, effective communication is a skill that has a wide range of benefits, from improving workplace productivity to repairing personal relationships. But did you know there are five different types of communication? [15]
    • Verbal Communication: Uses the spoken word to express thoughts or feelings.
    • Nonverbal Communication: Uses a person's tone, facial experiences, body language, hand movements, and eye contact.
    • Written Communication: Uses text messages, emails, notes, letters, or billboards to relay a message.
    • Visual Communication: Uses graphics, diagrams, drawings, and other similar visual aids to share information.
    • Active Listening: The practice of observing verbal and nonverbal cues to show you're retaining new knowledge and information.

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  • Question
    How do I communicate with others to get a positive outcomes?
    Community Answer
    The easiest way to get positive outcomes is to be positive yourself. Be kind and focus on what is good instead of complaining about the negatives.
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    How do I control my voice when talking to someone?
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    If you are controlling your voice in an argument, so as not to make it sound frustrated, try pausing before you speak. Often, in an argument, people tend to rush into the discussion, not giving themselves time to think about how they want to come across. Before speaking, pause for a moment to focus on how your words and tone will sound, to calm yourself, and begin to articulate your response in a way that shows exactly what you want it to show.
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    I love my children dearly, but we more often than not talk at one another instead of speaking with or to one another. Could this be because we have poor listening skills?
    Community Answer
    That is certainly one very good reason if not the main reason. Frustration, eagerness to get your point across, and lack of empathy are other common problems. As a parent, you may assert yourself as the decision maker and feel the child should just fall in line. When a parent gives an answer like, "Because I said so" the child can clearly see that you are being lazy or you are not taking their argument seriously. It becomes frustrating for the child and it carries on with each argument. My suggestion would be to explain your position (fears, concerns) then listen to their response. Be willing to compromise.
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      Tips

      • Be prepared for difficult questions when presenting to a group or audience. Michael Brown recommends using active listening skills and repetition to capitalize on a shared answer. [16]
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      • Make sure you do not have negative or apathetic body language.
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      • Don't ramble. This will lead to your message not being understood or taken seriously.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-organize-thoughts
      2. ↑ https://www.yourthoughtpartner.com/blog/6-steps-for-effectively-connecting-with-your-audiences
      3. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2018/09/10/the-five-cs-of-effective-communication/?sh=308b3b1420c8
      4. ↑ https://poorvucenter.yale.edu/teaching/ideas-teaching/public-speaking-teachers-ii-mechanics-speaking
      5. ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_an_introduction_to_its_role_in_communication
      6. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/signs-someone-not-listening-2018-9
      7. ↑ https://www.waldenu.edu/programs/communication/resource/how-to-be-an-effective-communicator-in-7-easy-steps
      8. ↑ https://www.mindtools.com/a0byhfl/delivering-bad-news
      9. ↑ https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/i-statements-vs-you-statements/
      1. ↑ https://www.tonyrobbins.com/love-relationships/watching-your-tone/
      2. ↑ https://www.thesource.org/post/heres-what-compromise-looks-like-in-a-healthy-relationship
      3. ↑ https://parade.com/living/how-to-politely-interrupt-someone-according-to-therapist
      4. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication#communicating-clearly-in-a-relationship
      5. ↑ https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/clarifying-questions
      6. ↑ https://www.uopeople.edu/blog/types-of-communication-back-to-basics/
      7. ↑ Michael Brown, "Speaking Easy," (undated), Media Associates, NZ, p.114.

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To communicate effectively, start by organizing and clarifying your thoughts before trying to express them out loud. It can help to write down a few key points that you want to make ahead of time to help you stay on topic. Then, strive to articulate those points in a clear, focused way. Enunciate clearly and remember to make eye contact with your listeners, which helps you create a connection with them. It's also important to be aware of your body language, facial expressions, and gestures while you're communicating with others, since these movements can speak just as loudly as words! For tips on facilitating open communication, read on!

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