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When you're too young to drive, getting places can be frustrating. You have to rely on your parents to take you everywhere. By using a few different methods, hopefully you will be able to successfully convince them to drive you where you need to go.
Steps
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Explain there is a good reason you need to go. Sometimes, you need your parents to drive you somewhere for a school or club related reason. Your parents might be more willing to drive to these events since the events will better you in some way.
- If you need your parents to drive you to school for a meeting, concert, or club meeting, explain to them that it is school-related. Tell them that you have a band concert or a drama club meeting. Most parents will be happy you are involved in extra-curricular activities and want to support you. If you need to go to the library to meet with your classmates for a group project, make sure your parents understand the ride is for a graded assignment.
- If you need a ride to sports practice, let them know. Explain to them that you have practice and need a ride to practice and games.
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Emphasize the importance of your going to the activity. If your parents are unwilling to take you despite your explanation, emphasize how important it is that you go. Sometimes, letting your parents know how important something is to you can be very persuasive.
- If you need to go to a friend's house to study, tell your parents you are afraid you will fail the science test if you don't borrow your friend's notes and have them explain the concepts to you.
- If you need to go to practice, explain that missing practice can result in you getting kicked off the team, out of the play, or not being able to perform in the concert.
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Present your parents with a schedule. If you have many after school activities or sports commitments, provide your parents with a schedule. This schedule should list days you have practice or meetings, the times you will need to be dropped off and picked up, and the locations. Giving your parents a schedule allows them to plan ahead for your rides, so you are not springing requests for rides on them all the time.
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Ask politely. Sometimes you might just want your parents to drive you to the store for a new game, or to a friend's house to spend the night. You don't have a pressing need to go, and your school work or place on the team isn't a factor. If this is the situation, ask your parents politely. Being mature, respectful, and polite instead of bratty, whiny, and demanding will yield better results for you.
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Remain calm. If your parents say no, don't lose your temper. Getting emotional, acting upset, and yelling are some of the least persuasive techniques. [1] X Research source This could make your parents angry and make them believe you are a not mature.
- Refrain from accusing your parents of being unfair. If you believe they are being unfair, then calmly talk to them about it. Accusations, anger, or tears will make your goal of getting a ride more difficult.
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Ask your parents when they are in a good mood. When you approach your parents, make sure you do it at the right time. Don't talk to them right after they've walked into the door from work, don't ask them when they're rushed, and avoid asking them when they're stressed or in a bad mood. Choosing these times could result in you getting an answer of no, which may have nothing to do with you. Instead, ask them when they have time and everyone is relaxed.
- One suggestion is to ask you parents if they have time to talk to you. Ask, "Mom, got a minute?" or "Dad, can I ask you a question?"
- Another good option is to ask them over family dinner. Since everyone is sitting at the table for a meal, you have some time to discuss your request, and everyone should be relaxed and in a good mood.
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Show appreciation and gratitude. Demanding your parents do something for you is a recipe for disaster. Instead, express your appreciation for what they do. Don't limit the appreciation just to what they do for you when you ask. Thank them for the things they do without you asking, like cooking dinner every night, driving you to school, and buying your school clothes.
- Make sure you are sincere in your gratitude and appreciation. Don't be sarcastic or fake. Your parents will probably be able to see through that, and that might make them mad.
- Try saying, "I know you already take me to and pick me up from school, which I really appreciate. It's so much better than taking the bus" or "I really appreciate you taking the time after work to drive me to baseball practice. I love playing baseball, and I appreciate you driving me." Letting your parents know they are appreciated can go a long way. It may also help you obtain whatever you ask for afterwards. [2] X Research source
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Give your parents time to think about it. Instead of demanding an answer on the spot, let your parents think about it. Maybe they have to check their schedules, see if they can rearrange some appointments, or something else. Other parents may just want to make a rational decision that they've fully thought about. Rushing your parents may irritate them and cause them to say no.
- Suggest that they not answer right away. Say, "Don't answer right away, but I was wondering..." or "I want you to think about this before you answer."
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Work on one parent. If you have two parents, approach the one that you feel closest too or who you think might be more likely to agree. Present your case to this parent, and see what happens.
- If your parents have said no, go talk to one of your parents. Ask them to explain why they said no. Then, ask if there is something you can do to change their mind to yes. Maybe try to gently explain your case again, focusing on why it's so important to you.
- Just remember, don't try to play your parents against one another. This could end very badly for you.
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Don't assume your parents have unlimited free time. Remember that your parents are very busy people, with jobs, obligations, and many times other children. Maybe the reason they said no isn't because they don't want you to go or because they can't take you, but because they don't have time.
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Don't give up. Continue asking your parents for rides. Each time you ask, remember to be calm and respectful. Just because they can't take you to your friend's house this week doesn't mean they won't be able to next week.
- Don't annoy them. If they have said they won't take you to the store, don't badger them. This can just annoy them and make them never to want to take you anywhere.
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Give them a reason to say yes. Think about whether or not you deserve your parents to drive you. Have you been good? Have you been respectful and minded your parents, or have you acted out and caused undue stress on them? Have you completed your chores, done your homework, and done your best in school? Think about your parents driving you as a reward for being good. Your parents may take that into consideration when making their decision.
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Propose to do a favor in return. Make a deal with your parents. Tell them that if they drive you to the store, you will wash the dishes after dinner. Since they are taking time out of their day to drive you, offer to do something that will give them one less thing to do that day. [3] X Research source
- Offer to do the favors ahead of time. If you want them to drive you to the dance Friday night, offer to do laundry on Thursday so they know your word is good.
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Do something nice before you ask. It might not hurt to butter your parents up a little bit. Clean your room, complete your homework, or vacuum before you ask them for a ride. This might help you get on their good side and show them that you really want to go.
- By completing chores and schoolwork before asking, you put yourself at an advantage. If you ask your parents to drive you somewhere and they ask, "Is your homework done?" or "Have you cleaned your room?", you can say yes.
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Offer to pay for gas. If the gas money is an issue, offer to pay for the gas. Use your allowance or money from your paper route to cover it. This shows you are responsible and willing to share some of the responsibility for the ride.
- Don't offer to pay them for the ride. This might be seen as a bribe or make them feel like a taxi service, which is not what you want.
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Suggest a carpool. If you are trying to get rides to frequent events, like practice, meetings, or rehearsal, suggest setting up a carpool. Have your parents come together with a few other friends' parents. Decide on a carpool schedule that benefits everyone. That way, you get rides to all the things you need, your parents give you a ride, but the responsibility is spread among multiple people.
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Compromise. One of the best bargaining strategies is compromise. Maybe your parents can't take you to the movies this week, but they can next week. It's not exactly what you want, but it's not a no. Your parents are still willing to give you a ride. Accept that gratefully.
- Another compromise might be deciding on which ride to take. If you need to go to practice, the store, your friend's house, and the movies, your parents might not have time to take you to all those places. If your parents offer to take you to practice and one other thing, then compromise with them.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat's the best way to go about asking my parents for permission for something, especially if I'm nervous or hesitant?Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).When you need to get your parents' okay, keeping it simple and truthful is key. Don't let fear or worries about judgment stop you from just asking plainly and honestly. It can feel scary, but that simple, direct approach is really the best policy. If you catch yourself overthinking or making up stories, take a breath. Remind yourself why being real and straightforward works better. Your parents will respect your sincerity, and you're more likely to get a yes if you're upfront. So don't psych yourself out. Just be honest and ask.
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Tips
- Try finding another way to get places, like taking the bus, biking, walking, or have someone else like a friend take you.Thanks
- Accept that sometimes parents say no, regardless of what persuasive technique you use. This is okay. Let it go, move on, and try again at a future date.Thanks
- Don't be selfish. Don't expect your parents to take you everywhere you want to go whenever you want it. Be as respectful of what they have to do and where they have to go as you expect them to be with you.Thanks
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC .
References
About This Article
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 157,188 times.
Reader Success Stories
- "This article was amazing! I only had to follow one step and my parents took me there! I'm so happy! Thank you!"
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