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It can be heartbreaking to know you’ll never see your crush again. Whether a vacation is ending, camp is over, or they’re moving away, it’s hard to accept that the goodbye is permanent. However, it is possible to recover and be yourself again. By taking care of yourself, handling your sadness in smart ways, and learning to move on, it’s very possible to cope when you’ll never see your crush again.
Steps
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Say goodbye, if possible. If you are able to see your crush one last time before leaving, it can be very helpful. It will give you closure and a final memory. If you are comfortable, you can even tell them how you feel. It can be a huge relief to get it off your chest. Unexpressed feelings can cause stress and sadness, so it might help you in the long run to tell them exactly how you feel about them.
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Let yourself cry. When you’re going through something hard, a lot of people will tell you to, “Stay strong.” While their intentions are good, it’s OK to express your emotions. Sometimes a good cry can get out some of those awful emotions that words can’t. [1] X Research source Don’t bottle up your feelings, because they could come out when you least expect it.
- Sadness isn’t pathetic or a sign of weakness. Tears just mean you really cared about someone and you’re sad to say goodbye. Don’t be ashamed.
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Be easy on yourself. When you’re young, often times your crushes aren’t taken seriously by others, nor are your heartbreaks. People may not understand your sadness, but that doesn’t mean you should sweep it under the rug. Be gentle with yourself, and treat yourself to the things you enjoy doing. Draw up a bubble bath, take a yoga class, or play a third round of video games. Give yourself little treats to help you in your sad time.
- It’s helpful to be honest with your parents and friends about how you’re feeling, so they understand what is going on.
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Give yourself a “wallowing” time limit. It’s good to let your feelings out, but it’s not good to throw yourself a never-ending pity party. Give yourself a limit of how long you’ll let yourself wallow. [2] X Research source Maybe it’s a weekend, maybe it’s a full week. Spend that time spoiling yourself, or doing the cliché things that people do to get over a break-up. Eat sweets, watch movies, sleep in, cry, listen to sad music, and do anything else that you feel like doing. When you’ve reached the time limit you set for yourself, stop. Turn off the sad music, tidy up, call some friends, and get ready to start moving on.
- Wallowing will never make you feel better. It’s OK to do it for a little bit and get out those awful feelings, but it’s not a long-term solution.
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Say yes to invitations. When you’re down in the dumps, it can be tempting to isolate yourself and hide in your bedroom. Challenge yourself to say “yes” to every invitation that comes your way. Whether it’s shooting hoops with your dad, going to the movies with a friend, or running errands with your mom, just say yes! Leaving the house and surrounding yourself with people who love you can be incredibly helpful. [3] X Research source
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Start a project. Now is a great time to dive into that big project you’ve been considering starting. Rather than sitting around and thinking about your crush, do something productive and fun! Redecorate your room, start a blog, train for a race, learn how to cook a new recipe, whatever! The more energy you channel into a fun project, the less energy you’ll have to be upset over your crush. [4] X Research source
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Enjoy hobbies. You may feel lethargic and down when you know you won’t see your crush again, but it’s important to keep doing the things that bring you joy. Don’t skip your extracurriculars or cancel plans that you typically love just because you’re sad. You may dread going somewhere or following through on your plans, but end up having a fantastic time. Give yourself the chance to forget about your crush and remember the hobbies you love doing. [5] X Research source
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Close the chapter. If you are never going to see your crush again, it’s important to close that chapter to move onto the next. You will probably not be able to move on if you sleep with their picture next to your bed, or stalk their Facebook every single day. [6] X Research source You don’t need to burn their photograph or unfriend them, but you should tuck the photo away somewhere and try not to look at their page. The less you’re bombarded with memories of them, the sooner you can heal and move on.
- Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and other social media platforms can be great ways to stay in contact with your crush if they live far away. However, these can also extend the amount of time that you're upset and stuck on them. Try to minimize your interactions through social media. For example, reduce your daily Snapchat messages from ten to five and then to none. It might seem unnecessary, or even harsh, but it's much easier to get over someone and close the chapter if you aren't communicating with them 24/7.
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Remember your options. Your crush was probably awesome, but they're not the only awesome person you’ll ever meet. It can be hard to know that you’ll never see them again, but you will definitely have new crushes. You may let them pass by if you’re too busy mourning your last crush. Get excited about your future, because there will be plenty of amazing people coming in and out of your life. [7] X Research source
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Embrace the learning experience. Once you’ve successfully coped with saying a permanent goodbye to a crush, you’re a stronger and wiser person. You’ve learned how to make it through a really tough situation, and you’ll be able to handle hard things in the future. Painful experiences are never pointless– you’re officially a tougher and smarter person after it all. [8] X Research source
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Get Over Your Crush with this Expert Series
Crushing over someone you can't have is both draining and distracting. Learn how to move past these feelings and take back control of your life with this expert series.
Community Q&A
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QuestionI have tried everything to get over my crush who has moved. What can I do to stop thinking about him and having dreams about him?Community AnswerRemove the things that remind you of him, like any photographs, songs, letters, etc. Stop looking at his social media, if you are. You'll always think and dream about him if you are surrounded by memories. Keep yourself busy, talk to friends, enjoy your hobbies- just do anything to get your mind off of him.
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QuestionI can't get over my crush. He is moving away soon and I can't take it. How can I get over him?Community AnswerStay busy, spend time with friends and family, do things that you enjoy, and remember that you'll have another crush again. It can be very sad when a crush moves away, but he certainly won't be your last crush. Stay optimistic, because you'll meet another great guy. In the mean time, take care of yourself.
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References
- ↑ http://www.medicaldaily.com/cry-it-out-6-surprising-health-benefits-shedding-few-tears-333952
- ↑ http://www.thoughtsonlifeandlove.com/self-pity-and-wallowing/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201501/7-mistakes-you-need-avoid-after-breakup
- ↑ http://darlingmagazine.org/10-steps-to-moving-on-after-a-breakup/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201501/7-mistakes-you-need-avoid-after-breakup
- ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/archive/ca/entry/getting-rid-of-the-exs-stuff-a-breakup-guide-to-spring-cleanin_n_1370881
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201501/7-mistakes-you-need-avoid-after-breakup
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/natasha-koifman/how-to-survive-a-breakup_b_9721738.html
About This Article
Article Summary
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It can be heartbreaking when you know you’ll never see your crush again, but you can cope by managing your sadness and distracting yourself with new hobbies. If you have the opportunity, say goodbye to your crush in person, since this will give you closure and a nice final memory. Once they’re gone, let yourself cry to get your feelings out in the open. You can even plan some soothing activities, like taking a bubble bath or watching a romantic comedy, to help you through the pain. After giving yourself some time to feel sad, try to get yourself out of the house. For example, go to the movies with a friend or do errands with your mom to help take your mind off your crush. You might even start a new hobby, like cooking or painting, to distract yourself. To learn how to move forward after having a crush, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "My crush has been going to my school for about 7 years, and when I was in 4th grade I started having a crush on him. Now he is moving to away. But like this article said, I'm not gonna 'mourn' over him leaving, I'm gonna say my final goodbyes when he leaves, and I'm gonna give him a hug and tell him how I felt. If I don't do that, I would be thinking about him all the time." ..." more
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"My crush has been going to my school for about 7 years, and when I was in 4th grade I started having a crush on him. Now he is moving to away. But like this article said, I'm not gonna 'mourn' over him leaving, I'm gonna say my final goodbyes when he leaves, and I'm gonna give him a hug and tell him how I felt. If I don't do that, I would be thinking about him all the time."
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"This was great help, but I've not seen my crush in 3 years. I can't stop thinking that he might get a girlfriend or quit the club that we both go to."
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"I am really nervous to tell my crush I am moving, but this article helped me understand some ways to tell him and get over moving away. Thank you!"
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"My crush is moving to a different state because his family wants a farm. I'll remember all of this if he does."
"I got over my crush and I know I will miss him, but I need to move on. This advice helped me."
