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We all have to get through things we don't like in life, be it small or big. Perhaps having to go through a tough set of exams, a driving test or a holiday with someone you really don't like. In many cases, there's little we can do to change outside factors, but we can certainly get through it all in a less stressful way.
Steps
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Be aware of the task. Often, what we think is daunting turns out not to be such a big deal. You might think that there's too much to study for your public exams when actually you can still find time to enjoy yourself. Write down what it is you have to do, ask people who've gone through it before and evaluate how bad it truly is. [1] X Trustworthy Source University of Georgia Cooperative Extension Division of the University of Georgia focused on research and community education Go to source
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Identify what it is that you don't like. There are some things that are near-universally unpleasant, but in certain cases, we simply don't want to do something based on a minor factor. I knew a person who hated going on school trips because of homesickness, but had no problem doing sleepovers with friends. It rested simply in the fact that he associated one with "school", while the other with "friends". When he realised that school trips are no worse than going on a slightly more rigorous sleepover, his fear went away and he ended up enjoying them. [2] X Research sourceAdvertisement
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Prepare yourself in advance. Once you've identified what it is you have to do, plan ahead and get ready. If it's public exams, write yourself a timetable; if it's for going on a dreaded trip, find things which can make it more enjoyable. Make sure you are organised and emotionally ready for what you have to do - you'll get there feeling far less stressed or unhappy. [3] X Research source
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Try to enjoy it! This sounds trite, but even the dullest of things can be minimally enjoyable if we have a positive attitude and open mind. Try to find the good in every situation - for instance, see exam study as an opportunity to spend time with friends if you revise together; be aware that what you're learning will make you a more cultured person, and find a way to make a boring subject interesting through witty mnemonics or background stories. [4] X Research source
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See the goal/end. We all have to go through hard times in life, but often our greatest joys come as a consequence of our worst pain. Visualise the achievement you will feel once you've finished the task, think about what you're going to do afterwards, and use this as an incentive to keep on going. If in certain cases there isn't any overall achievement, try to imagine the good things you can regain once it's over. [5] X Research source
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Don't be too harsh on yourself. Don't be overly hard on the way you're coping with the task. If you're trying your best, get over any lapse - we're only human after all. Of course, try to see where you can improve, but excessively high standards are just counterproductive. You should feel worse about perfectionist expectations than anything that goes wrong. [6] X Research source
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Reward yourself. Give yourself treats where you can - buy the odd sweet you have once in a while, watch a funny film, do something you enjoy. Perhaps you can avoid doing certain things you love in your everyday life and save them for such moments - making them even more special. [7] X Research source
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Surround yourself with family and/or friends. There's nothing better than having a supportive family or group of friends to help you. If you are in the position of having them nearby, take the opportunity to talk and share your experience. If you're far away, the glories of the internet and mobile phones allow us to keep in contact, so make use of these precious tools! And, if even that doesn't work, try the good old-fashioned method of letter-writing. [8] X Research source
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Let it out! Don't bottle up your emotions. If one day you feel like crying, have a good sob. If you want to shout, go somewhere private and blurt it out. It may not make the problem go away, but at least it will relieve you of some of the stress building up inside. In certain studies crying has been proven to help reduce anxiety levels. [9] X Research source
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See the bigger picture. Going through a set of public exams lasts a few months, a dreaded trip probably won't be more than a few weeks, a bad job may take up a few years of your life. Remember first of all that you should have a long life and whatever you have to do won't last forever, but also try to remind yourself that things could (nearly) always be worse. While you may hate to sit through a huge set of papers, think of people who are going through the same thing but might also be suffering from cancer or having family problems. Note the good things in your life, and always, always remember that you're never alone.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I motivate myself when doing something I don't want?Anna Svetchinkov, LMFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Mental Health Advocate, and Author based in Florida. With over 15 years of experience, she helps individuals, couples, and families nationwide and worldwide overcome challenges and achieve their goals through speaking engagements and presentations. Anna is a dynamic presenter who's appeared on major media networks, including PBS, FOX, ABC, and NBC, sharing her expertise in family therapy and mental wellness. She's a published author with over 30 books for children, adolescents, teens, and adults, covering topics related to mental health and wellness. Passionate about destigmatizing mental health, she founded the non-profit "I Care We All Care." Anna has received several awards for her contributions to the mental health field and was selected as one of Florida's ‘40 under 40.’ She received a BS in Psychology and a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from UMass Boston and is pursuing her Ph.D in Clinical Sexology from MSTI.Acknowledge and celebrate small accomplishments. It's crucial to take a moment to recognize and celebrate small victories, as we often tend to overlook our achievements and keep pushing forward without pausing to appreciate our progress. Typically, we only stop to reflect when things aren't going well. Therefore, it's important to integrate more positivity into our lives and incorporate small practices that contribute to a sense of accomplishment and self-appreciation.
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Tips
- If the task is spread over a long period of time, listening to music you enjoy or feeling artistically inspired can often make even the worst things seem trivial.Thanks
- If the task requires a certain level of control (i.e. preparing for an interview/exams), make sure to treat your body well. Fix regular sleeping patterns and try to eat healthily most of the time.Thanks
- Certain foods/drinks are known to reduce anxiety - try avocado, asparagus, berries and milk. Camomile tea also remains a timeless soother.Thanks
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Warnings
- However, don't jump to conclusions or give up at first sight - wait a while, evaluate everything, and then see if the situation goes out of hand.Thanks
- If you feel this task is consuming your life to the extent that it's giving you severe stress, anxiety, depression, or worse, affecting your physical/mental health, talk to a professional - you never know, it might help.Thanks
- Following the above, if you feel the unhappiness caused is not worth the outcome, evaluate with someone else whether you should go or keep on going through with it in the first place.Thanks
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about human behavior, check out our in-depth interview with Anna Svetchnikov .
References
- ↑ https://extension.uga.edu/publications/detail.html?number=C1042&title=time-management-10-strategies-for-better-time-management
- ↑ https://sites.rhodes.edu/academicsupport/overcoming-procrastination
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/life-worth-living-setting-life-goals/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-matters-most/201705/how-deal-boring-or-mundane-tasks
- ↑ https://www.uopeople.edu/blog/dreams-vs-goals-the-differences-that-matter/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201810/7-signs-youre-too-hard-yourself
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-rewarding-yourself-with-treats#1
- ↑ https://scholarworks.boisestate.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1122&context=ipt_facpubs
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-good-reasons-to-cry-your-eyes-out/
About This Article
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