How to Tell if Your Crush Likes Someone Else (Plus, How to Move On)

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Telltale signs that they’re not into you
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It’s never easy to find out that the person you’re crushing on likes somebody else. However, if you suspect the person you like has eyes for another, it’s better to figure it out sooner rather than later so you don’t end up with a broken heart. In this article, we'll teach you how to find out if your crush likes someone else, how to move on, and how to tell if someone likes you.

How do you know if your crush likes someone else?

Pay attention to how they interact with you. If they stop hanging out with you or texting you as often, or if they constantly cancel plans, they may like someone else. They may talk about this person a lot or go out of their way to be near them. If you want to know for sure, ask them if they’re interested in someone.

Section 1 of 5:

Noticing Changes in Your Interactions

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  1. If you and your crush talk often or hang out in or outside of school , pay attention to changes in their attitude. If they used to be friendly and playful but suddenly start acting distant and moody, it’s possible that they are having conflicting feelings. [1]
    • If this is happening, try not to get super clingy. Give your crush a little bit of space so they can figure out how they feel. It could be a good time to evaluate your feelings, too.
  2. If you see your crush regularly, you may notice that they start to greet you differently. They may no longer say “hi” to you in the hallway or wait to walk to class with you. If these were previously normal interactions with your crush and they start to change or diminish, your crush may have feelings for someone else. [2]
    • Being ignored outright is often a sign that your crush doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore, especially if they’ve started to treat someone else more affectionately.
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  3. If you and your crush are friends and hang out regularly, pick up on times when they bail on plans or ditch you. This is a pretty good sign that there might be something or someone else they are hoping to spend time with. [3]
    • Similarly, if your crush suddenly becomes hard to pin down or avoids making plans with you, it could be a sign of a similar situation.
  4. When a person likes someone, they’ll typically respond to texts and other messages quickly. [4] If you’re used to quick responses and frequent messages with your crush and these messages suddenly slow down or stop, they may like someone else. It’s possible that something else is going on, but if this change is consistent for several weeks, it might be because they are busy messaging someone else.
    • Try asking them directly if everything is okay. Maybe they’re having a hard time or are overwhelmed with school or work. If this is the case, they may not be texting someone else.
  5. If your crush is continually talking about a new person, they may be attracted to or interested in them. If the same name keeps creeping up every time you interact, pay attention—this could be the sign you’re looking for. [5]
    • Your crush may not even realize they’re doing this. Think about how many times you’ve mentioned your crush to your friends in passing before you realized you were talking about them so much.
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Section 2 of 5:

Investigating & Asking Questions About Your Crush

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  1. While you shouldn’t stalk their page repeatedly, taking a glance at your crush’s social media can tell you a lot about who they’re talking to and where they’re going. You might be able to see who they’ve become friends with recently or if they’re liking a lot of posts from a particular person. [6]
    • To avoid torturing yourself, put a limit on how often you’ll look at their social media, like once a day instead of once every hour.
  2. Rumors aren’t always true or good sources of information, so take them with a grain of salt. However, if the source is a trustworthy person, you may be able to find out who your crush likes. Just be sure you don’t help spread any false information.
    • For example, if you hear from three different people that your crush was holding hands with someone at the movies, it’s probably true and a sign that they are into someone else.
  3. Your friends may be able to see your situation with your crush more clearly than you can. Ask them for their opinion on whether they think your crush likes you or someone else, and see if they’ll keep an eye on your crush so they can clue you in to what’s going on.
    • If you do this, there’s always a chance you might get news you don’t want. It’s okay to be upset, but don’t get mad at your friend.
  4. This works best if you know your crush’s friends and can have a conversation with them without it seeming too weird. Keep in mind that this person may tell your crush that you were asking about them, but it could also give you some important insider information. [7]
    • For example, you might say something like, “Hey, Ryan, I noticed that Jade has been spending a lot of time with Ben. Is there something going on there?”
  5. This can be a little risky, but if you feel like your crush has their eye on someone else, you may want to know for sure so you can move on with your own life. Try to phrase the question in a non-confrontational way and make it seem like you’re just generally curious about it. [8]
    • For example, you could say something like, “Hey, Max, I was wondering if you were interested in Kylie. I noticed you guys have been spending a lot of time together.” If they ask why you want to know, say, “Oh, I was just curious.”

    Warning: If you don’t know or talk to your crush often, it’s probably best to avoid asking them this question. Prying into their personal life when you don’t have a friendship could make them uncomfortable.

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Section 3 of 5:

Watching for Changes in Your Crush’s Behavior

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  1. One of the key ways to find out who your crush is, well, crushing on is to figure out who they’re paying attention to. If you’re in class, at an event, or out with friends, take a peek to see who your crush is watching. If they’re consistently gazing at a specific individual, that could be a sign that they’re developing a crush of their own. [9]
  2. When you have a crush, you’re often drawn to them and end up in the same space so you can be close to them. Watch your crush—are they moving desks to sit by someone else during class or switching tables at lunchtime? Do they go out of their way to talk to a specific person? If so, there’s a good chance they like them. [10]
  3. When you see your crush interacting with the same person often, pay attention to how they act. Are they nervous? Do they get a little hyper? Do they blush or fumble their words? These are all signs that your crush may be experiencing some romantic feelings of their own. [11]
    • Think about how you feel or act when you see or talk to your crush or how you know someone has a crush on you. You can often apply those same principles to your crush to figure out how they’re feeling.
  4. Of course, there are lots of reasons why someone might be spending a lot of time on their phone. However, if your crush is texting all the time and is constantly checking their phone for notifications, they’re probably talking to someone they like. [12]
    • Pay attention to how your crush reacts when their friends ask them what they’re doing or who they’re talking to. If they get defensive or start acting embarrassed, chances are they’re talking to someone they’re developing feelings for.
  5. When someone likes someone else, it’s common for them to start dressing or acting in a way they think that person will like. For example, if you notice that your crush has suddenly started wearing band T-shirts and dyeing their hair, perhaps they’ve started to spend time with an avid concert-goer. They may also simply start putting more effort into their appearance in general to impress the person they like. [13]
    • Keep in mind that people experiment with their look all the time, so this might not be a sure-fire sign that they have a crush on someone else. But, if it pairs up with some other signals, it could be true.
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Section 4 of 5:

Moving On from Your Crush

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  1. If you find out your crush likes someone else, don’t beat yourself up! Steer clear of negative self-talk and instead focus on the things you love about yourself. Just because this person doesn’t like you romantically doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of being liked—it just isn’t working out in this particular situation. [14]
    • Think of it this way: odds are, you don’t like everyone who likes you, either. This doesn’t mean you think those people are unworthy of love. You just don’t personally connect with them, and that’s okay.

    Try This Out: If you can’t stop criticizing yourself, try making a list of 5 things you like about yourself. From your sense of humor to your personal style or a generous spirit, there are lots of great things about you to take note of.

  2. To keep yourself from being bitter, avoid villainizing the person your crush chose to be with. Instead, work on accepting the fact that your crush doesn’t like you . They’re their own person who can make their own choices. It might hurt at first, but remember that it’ll be okay in the end. [15]
    • Remember, you shouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, too.
    • Dating coach John Keegan says, “When someone doesn’t like you back, [decide] to stop being attracted to them. Make [your mind] up quickly instead of longing after them [or] chasing them.” [16]
  3. In order to truly get over someone, it’s important to first allow yourself to feel your emotions. When you first find out your crush likes someone else, it’s okay to cry. Listen to sad music, write in your journal, and do whatever you need to feel better. Give yourself a set amount of time to feel sad, then start working on getting over your crush. [17]
  4. Odds are, your feelings won’t go away overnight. Even if you’re friends with this person, it might be healthy to put a little space between you. Seeing them regularly may remind you of your feelings and prevent you from getting over your crush and moving forward with your life. Consider hanging out with other people, sitting somewhere else at lunch, or blocking them on social media—at least temporarily. [18]
    • Take some time to readjust your expectations for this person. If you were friends before, think about their role in your life. Maybe you can still be friends, just not as close as you used to be.
    • When someone you like likes someone else, matchmaker Courtney Quinlan says, “It’s probably best to accept it and move on…. Let them go date that other person and see how it goes rather than being clingy and stalkerish and holding onto a dream.” [19]
  5. Try your best to get out of your head and focus on living your life while you try to get over your crush. It can be really hard, and you may feel like hibernating for a few weeks while you nurse your heartache, but take this time to invest in your friendships, practice some self-care , and enjoy your hobbies . [20]
    • It’s totally okay to be sad and let yourself feel your emotions. Just try not to dwell in that sadness for too long.
  6. Sometimes, simply verbalizing what you’ve been feeling can help you heal and make those feelings less intense. Ask a trusted friend if you can talk to them about something, and then just let it all out. Even if they already knew about your crush, letting your feelings out might help you feel better. [21]
    • Try to talk about other things, too, so your friend doesn’t feel stressed trying to help you out. Remember to ask how they’re doing, as well.
  7. Instead of pining over your crush for weeks or months, give yourself permission to be attracted to other people. This way, you may find someone who likes you and gives you the attention you deserve! Or, if you want a break from romance, it’s okay to focus on yourself and steer clear of crushes for a while. [22]
    • Remember that there are other things in your life, like your friends, family, and hobbies, that can help make you feel fulfilled. If you want to focus on other things right now, that is perfectly fine!
    • When attempting to get over someone, Keegan suggests telling yourself something like, “There’s seven billion people. I’m sure I can be attracted to someone else [and] find a new crush.” [23]
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Section 5 of 5:

How to Tell if Someone Likes You

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  1. When someone likes you, you may notice that they’re constantly near you. They may go out of their way to sit next to you or walk with you, or they may seem to pop up out of nowhere. They’ll also find excuses to talk to you, like asking about the homework for a class you share. [24]
  2. Pay attention to how often someone looks at you. Making a lot of eye contact is often a sign that someone has a crush on you because it’s intimate and shows that they’re paying attention to you. Similarly, you may catch them staring at you a lot, even if they look away once you see them. [25]
  3. If someone likes you, they’ll subconsciously start mirroring your behaviors. They may mimic your posture or movements during a face-to-face conversation, or they might pick up on your use of emojis when you’re texting . Mirroring is a subconscious way to show interest and build connection with someone. [26]
    • Dating coach Cher Gopman says, “Body language is key here. If someone is interested in you, they’re going to lean in and be engaged [in the conversation].” [27]
  4. When someone has a crush on you , they’ll be very interested in your life. They’ll ask about your hobbies and friends and remember the details in future conversations. This shows that they’re truly interested in getting to know you. [28]
  5. Pay attention to how often the person touches you when you’re together. They may touch your arm during a conversation, brush your back or shoulder when walking past you, or go in for a hug more frequently. Initiating physical contact is a common sign someone likes someone. [29]
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can you win over a girl's heart?
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    I believe that simply acting traditionally chivalrous is how modern men stand out! A lot of women do want a guy who does these chivalrous things like calls instead of texts, opening doors for them, etc.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 6 Helpful 15
  • Question
    How can you tell if you're a rebound?
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    If you believe your crush still likes their ex or likes someone else, and that you're a rebound, know that there are some signs you can look for. For example, if they mention their ex a lot, comparing the way you treat them or the way you both interact, that's a red flag for sure.
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  • Question
    My crush looks at me most of the time, but he said he doesn't like me; he likes this other girl. But I've never seen him stare at her - what does this all mean?
    Community Answer
    Eye contact alone isn't a reliable indicator of a crush. Looking at someone is considered normal for most people; most people look at whoever they're interacting with, and some people will automatically gravitate toward looking at people they're familiar with, particularly if they're shy. There are many other behaviors that come with crushes that don't involve eye contact, such as blushing, flirting, shyness, trying to get their attention, "preening" around them, constantly talking about them, or seeking them out a lot, among other behaviors. If possible, try looking at his behavior around the girl he says he likes; if he does have a crush on her, then you'll likely notice that he's acting differently around her than he does with you.
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      • Avoid getting angry at your crush or saying mean things about them if they like someone else. You’ll probably regret those words once you’ve moved on from them.
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      • Remember, if you’re already friends, your crush probably still wants to hang out with you even if they don’t like you that way. You may need some space to get over them, but if you still want to be friends, don’t avoid them forever!
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      • If you keep being friends with your crush, your friendship may lead to a connection that turns into a relationship. Just take things slow. This worked out for me!
      • If your crush likes someone else, don't be discouraged. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Your heart will choose who you will be with in the future.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://29secrets.com/relationships/signs-your-crush-likes-someone-else/
      2. ↑ https://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/signs-he-does-not-like-you/3/
      3. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a31452/reasons-he-canceled-on-you/
      4. ↑ https://parade.com/1058769/marynliles/how-to-tell-if-guy-like-you/
      5. ↑ https://29secrets.com/relationships/signs-your-crush-likes-someone-else/
      6. ↑ https://ignitedating.co.uk/how-do-you-tell-if-somebody-is-single/
      7. ↑ https://ignitedating.co.uk/how-do-you-tell-if-somebody-is-single/
      8. ↑ https://ignitedating.co.uk/how-do-you-tell-if-somebody-is-single/
      9. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/physiological-signs-of-a-crush/
      1. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/does-my-crush-think-of-me-as-just-a-friend-2018-10#your-crush-never-makes-an-effort-to-be-physically-close-to-you-1
      2. ↑ https://thewell.northwell.edu/relationships-sexual-health/love-crush-health
      3. ↑ https://parade.com/1058769/marynliles/how-to-tell-if-guy-like-you/
      4. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/does-my-crush-think-of-me-as-just-a-friend-2018-10#they-never-dress-up-around-you-2
      5. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/what-to-do-when-your-crush-doesnt-like-you-back/
      6. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/having-a-crush-on-someone-who-is-in-a-relationship/
      7. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      8. ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/how-to-get-rid-of-a-crush-and-stop-obsessing/
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201811/how-to-deal-when-the-one-you-love-is-taken
      10. ↑ Courtney Quinlan. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.
      11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201811/how-to-deal-when-the-one-you-love-is-taken
      12. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/what-to-do-when-your-crush-doesnt-like-you-back/
      13. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/having-a-crush-on-someone-who-is-in-a-relationship/
      14. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      15. ↑ https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/relationships/does-someone-have-crush-me
      16. ↑ https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/relationships/does-someone-have-crush-me
      17. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202312/the-chameleon-effect-why-we-mirror-friends-and-lovers
      18. ↑ Cher Gopman. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
      19. ↑ https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/relationships/does-someone-have-crush-me
      20. ↑ https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/relationships/does-someone-have-crush-me

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To find out if your crush likes someone else, see if they always stare at someone in particular or often sit next to the same person to talk. Also, pay attention to how much time your crush spends on their phone, since people who are distracted by someone may check their phone more. If your crush likes someone else, they'll probably just want to hang out with them, so they may act moody when you spend time together. However, if you want to know for sure that your crush likes someone else, ask them directly. You could say something like, "I noticed that you've been spending a lot of time with Kylie. Do you like her?" If they ask why you want to know, say, "Oh, I was just curious." For more advice, including how to move on from your crush who likes someone else, read on.

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