The Best Ways to Flirt with a Guy at Work

PDF download Download Article
The secrets to flirting in the workplace without crossing any lines
PDF download Download Article

Do you have a little crush on one of your coworkers? Flirting in the workplace can be fun, but it can also be risky. The last thing you want is to get in trouble with your boss or HR. Fortunately, you can subtly flirt with him using your body language, showing off your personality, and complimenting him. Just make sure that you're following all of your workplace's rules and respecting his boundaries so you don't tarnish your professional reputation.

Things You Should Know

  • Use body language to subtly show him your interested in him. Try holding eye contact for a little longer, “accidentally” bumping into him, or winking.
  • Draw his attention by dressing well and asking him questions you know he’ll have the answers to.
  • Mention your hobbies and interests to show off your amazing personality. You might mention that you have a dog or went hiking during a lunchroom break.
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Using Body Language

PDF download Download Article
  1. Make eye contact with him when he's around you. [1] Looking directly into someone's eyes creates an instant connection. When you make eye contact, hold it for 1-3 seconds so he feels noticed. Then, smile and look away. This is an easy way to flirt with your workplace crush without it being obvious. [2]
    • Don't stare into his eyes for longer than a few seconds. Otherwise, he might feel uncomfortable.
    • If you feel awkward or he asks if you need something, ask him a generic work question. You might say, “Did you get my email?” “Did you see the new quarterly numbers are out?” or “Do you know if the printer is fixed?”
  2. Smile when you see him. [3] Flashing someone a smile is the simplest, easiest way to flirt with them. Whenever he looks at you, give him a wide grin or a sly half-smile. Additionally, fix a smile on your face anytime he's going to be in the room. [4]
    • A toothy grin makes you seem like you're a fun person, while a sly smile makes you seem mysterious.

    Tip: Practice smiling in the mirror so it'll be easier to give a flirty smile when you see your crush.

    Advertisement
  3. Wink at him playfully when no one else is watching. Giving a sly wink will send him a clear signal that you're feeling flirty. However, you can also explain it away if the situation becomes awkward. Wait until no one's around or you feel confident that no one is looking. Then, wink at him as you pass each other. [5]
    • A slow wink is more flirty than a quick wink.
    • If you're not sure how he'll react to the wink, start with a quick wink so that it's easy to explain away. You could say, “I think I got something in my eye. I'm going to check in the mirror.”
  4. [6] Physical contact definitely takes your flirting to the next level, but touching a coworker can be a minefield. Play it safe by gently brushing past him or bumping into him. That way, you can play it off as an accident if things get weird. [7]
    • For instance, you might “accidentally” bump against him while you're passing him in the hallway. Then, say something like, “We can't keep meeting like this,” or “Sorry about that!”
  5. You should be able to get away with a little arm touching in the workplace. While you're talking to him, lightly touch his forearm or bicep. Make quick, gentle touches that don't last longer than 2-3 seconds. [8]
    • Stop touching him if he pulls away or looks uncomfortable. Instead, create some distance between you and say something like, “Sorry about that. I'm just really focused on this project.”
  6. This is an easy way to cultivate sex appeal in the workplace without being obvious. Men love watching your body move, and slowing down makes it more eye-catching. Move slowly and make your regular movements bigger when he may be watching you. This should get him to stare at you and lets you covertly flirt with him. [9]
    • For example, slowly strut by his desk whenever you walk across the room.
    7. Advertisement
Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Drawing His Attention

PDF download Download Article
  1. Dress well but keep your look professional . When you're trying to get a guy's attention, you want to look your best. However, it's important that you stay in dress code at all times so you don't compromise your job and career path. Choose professional outfits that make you look and feel your best but will also impress your boss.
    • If you're a woman, you might wear a pencil skirt with a silk blouse or a pair of fitted slacks with a structured top.
    • If you're a man, you might wear a tailored blazer or pair a unique tie with your button-up shirt.
  2. Getting help from someone is a classic flirting maneuver that's easy to brush off as innocent. If you're able to collaborate at work, invite him to work on a project with you. As another option, ask for his opinion about something. This allows you to talk to him while still keeping it professional.
    • You might say, "Hey, can you help me with this client pitch?" or "Do you have time to partner with me on this project?"

    Tip: If a conversation starts, try to keep it going. To do this, ask open ended questions like, “What did you do next?” or “How are you dealing with that?” It's possible that he'll see this as an opportunity to flirt with you, as well.

  3. When you're working with him, use it as an opportunity to learn more about him. Look for a wedding ring, check his workplace for photos of a partner, or work in questions about his personal life. Only ask 1-2 questions at a time so that he doesn't realize you're fishing for information.
    • For instance, you might go talk to him right before he gets off work so you can say, “You know what, I can come back tomorrow. I don't want to make you late for dinner with your girlfriend.”
  4. Talking about yourself may not seem like flirting at first glance, but it can get his attention. Rather than telling long stories about your life, briefly mention the most interesting things about yourself when you have the opportunity. Try to relate it to your work so it seems innocent.
    • For instance, let's say you have a demanding workload this week. You might say, “I won 1st place in a marathon last year, so I'm used to going all the way.”
    • If you're allowed to display personal photos in your work area, include pictures that show you enjoying your favorite activities. This might include a photo of you hiking, a picture of you working on a painting, and a snapshot of you reading at the beach.
  5. Try to make him laugh . Using humor is a common flirting tactic that's easy to use in the workplace. Practice your funniest life stories so that you can dazzle your crush with them, or learn a few corny jokes from the Internet. You might even send him memes that are related to the work you do. [10]
    • Try these jokes: “Have you been to that new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu because you get what you deserve.” “Do you know why the robber took a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.” and “What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The spacebar.”
  6. Compliment him to show him that you've noticed him. Start with professional compliments to test the waters. If he seems receptive, try complimenting something about his looks. However, take your time so that you don't come on too strong.
    • Start with compliments like, “That was a great presentation,” or “I'm always happy when I get to work with you because you're so dedicated.” Then, try, “That shirt looks great,” or “Looking stylish today!”
    • If he seems uncomfortable, brush off the compliment and leave him alone. You might say, “I'm trying this new thing where I pay it forward with compliments, but maybe I'll try buying someone a coffee next time.”

    Tip: Try phrasing compliments about their looks as a joke. Say something like, “Wow, even when it's raining your hair still looks perfect.” This allows you to see how he reacts while still being able to act like it wasn't meant as a compliment. [11]

  7. Flirting via messages is usually an easy, convenient way to make your feelings known. However, it can be risky at work because it leaves a record of your flirtations. Additionally, it's easy to misread the tone of a text. However, you can send him slightly flirty texts or messages if you think they'll be well-received. [12]
    • For example, you might text him a winky face or “Looking good!” after you pass him in the hallway.
    • Similarly, let's say that he's sent you an email asking for a meeting later in the day. You might respond with, “Oh, I'd never miss an opportunity to see you.”

    Tip: Before you send something, ask yourself if you'd be okay with another coworker or HR reading what you wrote. Don't risk your job!

    8. Advertisement
Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Protecting Your Professional Reputation

PDF download Download Article
  1. Some workplaces allow employees to date, while others forbid it. It's important to know where your workplace stands so you don't land yourself in trouble. Read your employee handbook to learn about the policies. If you have questions, talk to your HR rep. [13]
    • Don't rely on the office rumor mill for your information. It's possible to get misinformed.
    • If dating is allowed, make sure you know all of the rules. For instance, you might need to disclose your relationship and probably can't date your supervisor.

    Tip: If you're only flirting for fun, you might not worry about the relationship policies. However, you still want to be careful that you don't step over the line.

  2. This is problematic for multiple reasons. First, most companies don't let supervisors date the people under them, so this will put someone's job in jeopardy. Additionally, it may trigger rumors that you're trying to advance your career or could get you accused of sexual harassment. Save yourself a headache and leave your supervisors and direct-reports alone. [14]
    • If you really want to date them, apply for a transfer so that you won't be directly under or above them anymore. Until then, keep things totally professional.
  3. [15] While it's possible that your coworker will enjoy the flirting, he could become uncomfortable. Try not to take this personally because it's possible he just doesn't want an office relationship. At the same time, give him his space and stick to workplace talk when you interact with him in the future. [16]
    • Don't completely avoid him or stop talking to him altogether. This can make the situation uncomfortable and may hurt your working relationship.
  4. While touching is a great way to flirt, it's not always appropriate in the workplace. Don't touch his back, shoulders, legs, or anywhere else while trying to flirt. This can quickly lead to a harassment complaint, so play it safe.
    • If you and your crush start dating, it's okay to touch him more. However, keep workplace public displays of affection (PDA) to a minimum to avoid appearing unprofessional.
  5. While being suggestive is normally a good way to flirt, it's a liability when you're at work. Don't risk your career to get this guy's attention. Keep your flirting strictly PG.
    • Again, it's okay to get a little naughty if you and he start dating. However, don't talk about sex at work.
  6. If there's a record of your flirty behavior, you're at a greater risk for landing in trouble. Don't send any messages at work that you don't want to be read by another coworker. Your career is important, so don't mess it up over a guy. [17]
    • If you're in doubt, don't hit send.
    7. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    How can I subtly flirt with someone at work?
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    If you like them, casually brush up against them when you walk past to show you're interested. Start talking to them more and offering compliments.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 0 Helpful 3
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      Warnings

      • Be really careful when flirting at work. Some people can interpret flirting as sexual harassment, which is serious.
        Thanks
        Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
      • Don't flirt with more than one coworker at a time, as it could lead to an uncomfortable situation.
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
      • If your coworker asks you to stop, do so immediately and respect his boundaries.
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      The Ultimate Collection of Funny, Cheesy, & Romantic Rizz Lines
      21 Questions Game: Spicy & Freaky Questions to Get to Know Your Crush
      100+ Flirty Things to Say to a Girl & Boost Her Self-Esteem
      20+ Signs a Guy is Attracted to You
      140 Flirty Jokes & Pick-Up Lines to Make Her Laugh
      How to
      Seduce a Man
      How to
      Seduce a Woman
      70+ Sweet, Playful & Steamy Good Morning Texts To Send Your Man
      3 Ways to Be Smooth and Rizz Up a Girl
      How to
      Seduce an Older Woman
      What Are the Biggest Turn-Ons for Guys?
      Reading Women’s Body Language: Signs & Signals That She’s Flirting
      How to
      Flirt
      How to
      Talk to a Girl
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201605/3-steps-more-successful-flirting
      3. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201605/3-steps-more-successful-flirting
      5. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/gallery/he-says-she-says-flirting-moves
      6. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201605/3-steps-more-successful-flirting
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201605/3-steps-more-successful-flirting
      9. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/news/2015/02/13/flirting-behaviors-explained/81207.html
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201605/3-steps-more-successful-flirting
      2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/news/2015/02/13/flirting-behaviors-explained/81207.html
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201806/why-do-we-flirt-text
      4. ↑ https://hbr.org/2019/02/how-to-approach-an-office-romance-and-how-not-to
      5. ↑ https://hbr.org/2019/02/how-to-approach-an-office-romance-and-how-not-to
      6. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      7. ↑ https://hbr.org/2019/02/how-to-approach-an-office-romance-and-how-not-to
      8. ↑ https://www.careeraddict.com/flirting-work

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 59,735 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement