My boyfriend is always moody

03/10/25 11:35am

So my bf and I have been dating for more than a year now. He was really sweet and always taking initiative. But few months ago, we quit the same job and we were happy about it because the job was too demanding and we decided to find a new workplace.

So while jobless, we rarely see each other but we do communicate through FaceTime almost everyday. However, 2 months after that, he started feeling really down. It’s like he felt hopeless and worthless for not having a job and while he does apply for many jobs online but the ones who reached out are not the ones he wanted. So he went into quiet mode. I contacted him but he did not answer and I texted him but he did not reply until after an hour. He replied me saying, “Sorry, I’m tired. Let’s talk tomorrow”. And guess what? The next day he went quiet as well. So just to let yall know that this happened months ago but it’s still ongoing.

I’ve even talked to him about it and he said that it’s a personal thing and I have nothing to do with it. I told him that I feel so isolated and neglected when he does that because it felt like he was pushing me away and it’s not fair to leave me alone wondering when he will back to me.

So fast forward to today, he still does that thing sometimes and to be honest, I’m tired of it. I talked to him many times about it and I even offered many solutions such as telling him exactly what to text if he doesn’t have the mood to talk to me and in return, I won’t ask a thing and give him space. But when it happened again, he did not do any of that.

I love him, I really do. And I feel happy with him but every time this happens, I feel like I’m always the one putting the effort to work things out while he’s just enjoying the ride. I even thought of breaking up with him once or twice and I cried thinking of that. I need you guys advice on this. What should I do?

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wikiHow Editorial Team

03/10/25 11:37am

It sounds like your boyfriend is going through a rough time—and so are you. You clearly care about him and about your relationship a great deal, and it's frustrating and heartbreaking to feel as if he's not putting in the same effort. While it'd be understandable if he's struggling with depression or stress due to unemployment, it's also understandable for you to wonder if it's time to end the relationship: your needs matter too.

You mentioned that you've been communicating your frustrations to him, which is great. That means the ball is in his court, and if he is unwilling or unable to work together to find a way to move forward and repair the relationship, then it may be time to end things.

Try talking to him again and letting him know that you're thinking of moving on if things don't change. It's possible this will be a wakeup call for him—but if it isn't, remember that at the end of the day, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself, not him. You deserve a partner who is willing to put effort into the relationship and ensure your needs are met.

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