What Does it Mean When a Guy Puts His Hand on Your Thigh?

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Plus, how to react and tell if he's into you
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You’re driving around with a guy when he reaches over and touches your leg. Is it an accident? Is he making a move? Is he just being friendly? Chances are he's flirting with you, but there are other reasons a guy might put his hand on your thigh, too. We’ll fill you in on all the possibilities, as well as show you how to respond based on what you want from the situation. Then, we’ll clue you in to other signs he’s interested so that you can read his signals loud and clear.

Things You Should Know

  • Guys often place their hands on your thigh to show you that they’re attracted to you, or to test your reaction before making a move.
  • Men might also touch your thigh as a show of sympathy or support, or to communicate that they feel protective of you.
  • Sometimes, guys might touch your leg just as a friendly gesture, especially if you’ve known them for a long time and haven’t shown romantic interest.
Section 1 of 3:

Touching Your Thigh Meanings

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  1. Reaching to put his hand on your thigh is a classic move in the flirting handbook, especially when the two of you are already having a good time. It’s often a way of saying, “I really enjoy myself around you, and now I want to make it clear that I’m into you.” That physical contact is usually the first step to breaking the barrier of touch. He’s likely hoping that you feel the same way and might reciprocate his touch.
    • Reaching over to touch your thigh is especially romantic when you’re riding in a car together. If he’s driving, his movement is already limited, so touching your leg is one of the go-to moves.
  2. If a guy likes you, he probably feels protective of you, or like he needs to come to your defense—it’s one way to show he cares. [1] By touching your thigh, he might be trying to show you he’s taken it upon himself to be your protector, which might point to his romantic feelings. After all, we want to protect the ones we love.
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  3. Men often flirt by showing dominant body language. [2] This could include things like wrapping an arm around your shoulder, opening the car door for you, and yes, placing their hands on your thigh. He might be telling you that he feels like you’re his, and he wants you to know it. He’s proud to be sitting next to you, and wants the rest of the world to know it, too. Out of all the people around, you chose to sit next to him.
    • Of course, dominance is only sweet up to a certain point. If he’s aggressive or overly possessive , it may be time to reconsider his status as boyfriend material.
  4. Sometimes a guy is into you , but wants to pick up on other signals before he leans in for a kiss or professes his love. Placing a hand on your thigh could be one of the ways that he gauges your attraction to him, especially if he’s shy. If you respond positively by smiling , making eye contact , or reciprocating, then he knows he has the green flag. If you pull away or act nervous, then a respectable guy will get the message and take his hand back.
  5. Sometimes, you and a guy already know that you’re into each other, but you haven’t bridged the physical gap yet. If he initiates contact with his hand on your thigh, he might be asking a sort of question, like, “Is it okay if I touch you?” and that’s your opportunity to respond. If you’re both down, then congrats! You’ve just moved your relationship status from “talking” to “touching,” and things will probably get more serious from there.
  6. Sometimes a guy touches your thigh to signal that he wants to make things a bit more intimate between the two of you, and not just in the hand-holding kind of way. This is especially true if he’s driving you home, or if you’ve really felt the sparks while chatting at a bar or a restaurant. He’s just touching your thigh for now, but he may be hoping that things get a little more passionate behind closed doors.
  7. It takes a lot for some men to show any sort of emotion, and romantic advances require a certain amount of vulnerability. [3] Touching your thigh could be his way of showing you that he’s comfortable enough around you to be tender. He’s communicating that he trusts you and is willing to let his guard down around you to take that big leap toward physical intimacy.
    • In this situation, taking his hand can be a welcome and powerful way to acknowledge his feelings.
  8. Research shows that physical contact with another person can help relieve stress or anxiety. [4] We often touch people who are close to us to show them that we’re here for them, even if we don’t think of them romantically. By touching your thigh, he might be telling you that he’s on your team or that he has your back, especially if you’ve been having a tough conversation or confiding in him.
  9. Of course, and we hate to say it, there’s always the chance that the touch was accidental, and that everyone’s sending and receiving the wrong signals. [5] He might have been reaching for something, or misplaced his hand when he meant to place it at his side. The good news is, if he’s into you, he’ll probably give your more signals, so look for other signs that he’s flirting , like leaning in close or offering other small touches.
  10. Romantic partners aren’t the only people who offer each other tender touches. Family members and even good friends do things like touch each others’ shoulders or even hold hands. [6] If you’ve known each other for a while, it may just be that he feels comfortable showing some platonic intimacy , especially if he touches you in other non-romantic ways, like patting your shoulder or offering hugs when you see each other.
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Section 2 of 3:

Responding to His Hand on Your Thigh

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  1. First thing’s first: Ask yourself if you’re really into this guy in a romantic way. If you’re totally attracted to him, then it’s time to rev the engines. But it could be that you need a little more time to think, in which case the two of you might lay off the gas. And if you’re absolutely not into him that way? Slam on the breaks and let him know you don’t like him like that before things go any further.
    • Also ask yourself: Do you want a romantic relationship with him? Do you want to be physically intimate with him? Do you trust him, and was the touch respectful? If you say “No” to any of these, it’s time to slow things down.
  2. Asking yourself how the thigh touch happened is just as important as asking why. First, was it an accident? If he kept his hand there, probably not. If that's the case, consider if the context was romantic. Are the two of you on a date? Are you talking about romance or relationships? Do you interpret his body language as flirting? If the context is romantic and you’re into him, then feel free to make your move.
    • On the other hand, if the context was more platonic (like if he’s offering sympathy or just showing his affection as a friend), then a friendly smile is all the response you need to give.
  3. The easiest way to reciprocate is just by placing your hand on his thigh, too, to show him that you’re comfortable and that you feel the same way he does. Or, you might touch his arm or even hold his hand to mix things up while still sending a positive message.
  4. Now that you’re both on the same page, it’s time to pump the gas. If you’re able, lean or snuggle against him to show him that you’re comfortable with physical intimacy and want more of it. Then, if the moment feels right, go in for the kiss! It doesn’t have to be intense; a peck on the cheek or even kissing the back of his hand sends a good message.
    • Or, get him to kiss you by batting your eyelashes or leaning in close to his face. You might also just ask for a kiss!
  5. If you’re not totally confident that you want any sort of relationship with this guy, or if he’s being something of a creep, don’t hesitate to let him know. Turn him down gently by saying, “Sorry, I’m not really comfortable or ready for that kind of touch.” If he’s being persistent or needs a stronger message, say, “I don’t like it when you touch me. Please move your hand.”
    • If you feel unsafe for any reason, remove yourself from the situation, call a friend, or even fake a call from a friend to get out of there quickly and safely.
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Section 3 of 3:

Other Romantic Signs to Look For

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  1. Eye contact doesn’t always mean he’s into you, but if he is, then it will most likely be there. Someone who wants to catch your attention will most likely do so with their eyes. Holding your gaze tells you that he’s present and focused on you. But there’s a balance! A guy who can’t seem to stop staring at you, even when you appear nervous, is more creepy than romantic.
    • On the other hand, if he seems sweet but has trouble making eye contact, he might just be shy, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  2. Compliments are a classic way to flirt with just about anybody. If he showers you with flattering comments, then chances are he’s very much into you. There’s a right and respectful way to pay a compliment, though. If he only ever compliments your looks, take that as a red flag . But if he drops comments on things like your opinions, perspectives, or pretty much anything other than your appearance, then he’s probably as genuine as he is charming.
  3. Body language in general can be a good indicator that a guy likes you, particularly if he leans in close and smiles a lot. [7] He might also run his fingers through his hair, adjust his clothes so that they look just right to impress you, and sit up straight and position his body so that it’s turned toward you. [8]
  4. Touches other than holding your thigh can clue you in to his intentions. He might rest his hand on yours, or on your arm. [9] Or, he might play with your hair, touch the small of your back, or gently touch your face. As long as they’re respectful and done with consent, these are all green flags for romance.
  5. Last but certainly not least, a guy who’s worth your time will want to know everything about you. He might ask what you do for work, what you’re studying, or what you do in your free time. He might also ask for your opinions or perspectives on more profound or weighty questions. It’s a sign that he values your brain as well as your body, and that he could be a real catch.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/life-refracted/201706/52-ways-show-i-love-you-protecting
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/flirting
      3. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-34832-002
      4. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11489026/
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/fulfillment-any-age/202202/4-ways-more-touch-can-strengthen-relationship
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-baby-scientist/202202/why-people-hold-hands
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201408/how-spot-flirt
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202204/how-men-and-women-flirt-body-language
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202204/how-men-and-women-flirt-body-language

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