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A complete guide to becoming a true rizz goddess
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You’ve heard about guys having rizz, or that effortless ability to attract or flirt with someone. The real question is: can you have rizz as a girl? Well, of course you can! Rizz is short for charisma, and it isn’t limited to any gender. If you’re a girl who’s ready to dial up your charm, boost your confidence, and max out your rizz, you’ve come to the right place. We spoke with Relationship Coach Candice Mostisser to help us put together a list of 15 of the best tips for being smooth and having rizz as a girl.
Have Rizz as a Girl: A Quick Guide
Getting rizz as a girl is all about being confident and showing interest in another person to charm them. Smile, make eye contact, and get anyone’s attention with approachable body language. Don’t be afraid to approach them, say hello, and ask questions to show you’re interested.
Steps
Section 1 of 3:
Having Rizz & Flirting as A Girl
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Catch their eye, then hit them with a sly smile to show interest. This is the perfect first move to show your unspoken rizz . Making direct eye contact from across a room says, “Hey, I notice you.” Then, a genuine smile says, “I like what I see.” This combination is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal for flirting with a guy —or with anyone! Deploy it when you see someone you like to send your rizz quotient through the roof. [1] X Research source
- Flirting with your eyes makes you and your potential partner feel more connected. It can also help you understand them better. [2] X Research source
- Don’t make your smile too big, or they may just think you’re generally friendly.
- Try making your expression a little coy and mysterious by turning your head slightly down and to one side and then looking up at them. This move says, “I’m vulnerable but open to you.” [3] X Research source
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Show them that you like what you see with a quick eyebrow flash. An eyebrow flash —or quickly raising and lowering your eyebrows—is a subtle but effective way to show interest. This unconscious expression usually signals pleasure at seeing another person, but you can use it on purpose to show more of your rizz. [4] X Research source
- However, people also use the eyebrow flash to greet friends or get someone’s attention from across a room in a non-flirty way.
- Pair an eyebrow flash with a smile and direct eye contact for a rizzier vibe.
- An eyebrow flash is usually just one quick up and down of your eyebrows. Avoid waggling your eyebrows unless you’re using the facial expression to be funny.
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Use open body language to show you’re approachable. Stand or sit up straight, facing toward them without crossing your arms to signal that you’re interested and approachable. This lets them know you’re friendly and open to talking with them. Open body language while you’re in a conversation also lets them know you’re paying attention to them. [5] X Research source
- Avoid tapping your toes or examining your fingernails, which might make them feel like you’re bored. Instead, casually show the underside of your wrist or flip back your hair to expose the side of your neck to signal attraction. [6] X Research source
- If all else fails, arch your back slightly to lift your chest and stick out your butt. This accentuates your figure and shows you’re willing to be courted. [7] X Research source
- Once you start chatting, show you’re listening by tilting your head or leaning toward them.
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Say hello to them to show you’re interested. When you want to rizz up a guy, girl, or person of any gender, don’t be afraid to approach them to say “hi.” Sometimes, making the first move is the hardest part of flirting. However, confidence is a big part of getting more rizz . Plus, it’s an extremely attractive trait in another person. So, walk right up to them and say “hi.” Remember, everyone appreciates a friendly greeting, and it makes you stand out from the crowd. [8] X Research source
- When you say hello, it doesn’t even have to be the start of a big conversation. Sometimes, just saying “hi” as you walk past them on your way to the restroom is all you need. Or, ask them if they know where the restroom is or some other innocent question.
- Saying hello is a low-risk approach that allows you to gauge their interest. If you say “hi” and they ignore you or give a quick “hi” before going back to their conversation, they’re not interested at the moment and you can move on. If they turn toward you with a smile, it might mean that they recognize your rizz.
- When in doubt, just introduce yourself. Smile and say something like, “Hey, I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m [your name].”
- Or, you can try out an ultra-smooth—or cheesy— rizz line on him.
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Ask their opinion on something to start a conversation. People (especially guys!) generally love it when you ask them what they think about something. Plus, asking someone’s opinion is a great natural conversation starter. Having rizz and flirting is about making the other person feel good in your presence. When you ask your crush for their opinion on something, you’re subtly telling them that you think their opinion is valuable. That’s a subtle way to compliment them and give you something to talk about. [9] X Research source It also gives you the opportunity to casually suggest a date!
- For example, ask your crush what they think of the new restaurant that opened nearby. If they say that they like it or haven’t been yet, say something like, “We should go sometime!”
- Keep it casual. You’re just putting the idea of going out with you in their head.
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Ask questions to learn more about your crush. The way you really show your rizz is by asking thoughtful questions. Asking questions opens the conversation and lets your crush know that you genuinely care about getting to know them. Ask about their interests to find out what they’re passionate about—everyone loves to talk about their passions! Once you get them talking, ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation going. [10] X Research source
- For example: “I heard you’re really into hiking. What’s the coolest trail you’ve hiked?” or “I heard you like going to live shows. What’s the best concert you’ve ever seen?”
- If you don’t know what your crush is passionate about and don’t want to ask them directly, try an interesting hypothetical question like, “If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?” or “What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?”
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Mirror their body language to build a connection. Take a drink, shift your weight, or lean in when your crush does. Mirroring body language helps create a subconscious sense of similarity and comfort with another person. In many cases, it’s something you do without thinking about as you grow comfortable with another person. Also known as the chameleon effect, it helps make the other person like you more. [11] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Use mirroring to build a sense of connection by subtly mimicking your crush’s movements. If they cross their legs, wait a moment then subtly do the same. If they take a sip of their drink, do the same shortly after.
- However, it’s also possible to do a little too much mirroring, which is more creepy or cringe than rizz-tastic. [12] X Research source
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Use their name to get—and keep—their attention. Using a person’s name is a quick way to get their attention and show your rizz as a girl. It can also make your conversation more personal. It causes your crush’s brain to perk up no matter what they're thinking about. [13] X Research source It also helps to show you’re interested in them personally and makes the conversation more engaging. Just make sure you don’t use it with every sentence, or it gets awkward really fast.
- For example, say: “That’s so funny, Alex! I never would have guessed.” or “You know what, Will, I think you’re onto something.”
- However, if you get the name wrong or mispronounce it, it can be a big turn-off.
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Add a little spice with a friendly competition. Raise your rizz immediately by challenging your crush to a fun activity like a game, trivia contest, or something else you're both good at. It makes your interactions exciting and keeps things interesting. The “prize” doesn’t have to be money—say something like, “The loser has to post an embarrassing selfie” or “Winner get eternal bragging rights.” Make things more interesting—and flirty—by placing a little wager. [14] X Research source
- For example: “I bet I could beat you at trivia—I’m basically a walking encyclopedia of random facts. Want to test me?”
- If you’re really confident in your abilities, say something like, “Loser has to buy me dinner.”
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Laugh at their jokes to create a positive vibe. Laughing at your crush’s jokes tells them that you enjoy their company and appreciate their efforts to make you laugh. Plus, it shows you have a sense of humor, creates a positive vibe, and makes hanging around with you more fun. Also, studies show guys love it when a girl laughs at their jokes. If your crush is a guy, laughing at his sense of humor may make him see you as more fun and attractive. [15] X Research source
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Pay them a compliment to make them feel good. An excellent rizz move is to give your crush a sincere compliment that they don't hear often. Instead of focusing on looks, compliment something unique about them—like their sense of humor, their passion for their hobbies, or how they treat their friends. Compliments about someone’s appearance are nice, but they can also make people feel awkward. A genuine compliment about their character stands out and still makes them feel special. [16] X Research source
- For example, say something like, “I really admire how you always stay so positive, even when things get tough. It’s really inspiring.” or “You’re so funny! I could hang out with you all day.”
- Don’t get too physical or sexual right away. Dishing out spicy compliments when you first meet a guy may seem like you’re coming on too strong.
- Don’t go overboard with compliments. Mostisser explains that “a lot of people think that flirting and complimenting go hand-in-hand, but it can also seem disingenuous. I once met somebody for a date, and they came up to me and immediately said, ‘Oh, I love your earrings. They look so great.’ And I wasn't wearing any earrings.”
EXPERT TIPDating CoachCandice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world.A compliment doesn’t have to be super specific. It can be something as simple as, “You have a great laugh.” or “I'm so glad you're here!” It doesn't have to be as specific as “I love that cardigan with the leopard spots.”
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Break the touch barrier to build attraction. Keep things simple with a quick touch on the arm or shoulder as you talk. Breaking the touch barrier is a rizz cheat code. When you touch someone in a casual and appropriate way, they tend to become more attracted to you. Light, casual touches also signal your interest and help create a closer connection. For example, when your crush says something funny, lightly touch their arm and say, “You’re too much!” If you’re emphasizing a point, gently place your hand on their shoulder and say, “No, seriously, you have to listen to this.” [17] X Research source
- When you first meet, keep your touches on their arms, hands, or shoulders. If you’re sitting side-by-side, let your shoulders and thighs brush against theirs. The next time you see them, greet them with a hug.
- However, Mostisser recommends asking for your crush’s permission before touching them. As she explains, you should “ask permission if you really want to be conscientious about getting consent. It's a really great way to make sure that they're okay with it and allows you to really elevate the date from just sitting across from each other and talking.”
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Suggest getting together again as you say goodbye. Mostisser says, “I encourage making theoretical plans together if you find you have mutual interests. If you both love cooking, come up with a theoretical plan like ‘Oh, it would be so fun to go together to the farmer's market, get some fresh veggies, and cook something together one day.’”
- For example, if you both like Mexican food, you could say something like, "We should check out that new Mexican place sometime." That way, you've already planted the idea that you'll see them again.
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Say goodbye before your crush does. The second you start to feel the conversation start to drag, make your exit. If the conversation goes on too long, it could tank a great flirting session . The object of your desires might get bored or distracted if you run out of things to talk about. Then, that’s the impression you leave them with. There’s nothing that shows off your rizz more than saying your goodbyes and walking away while they're still interested. That way, they look forward to seeing you again.
- Remember, the best way to avoid an awkward pause is to head home before it happens.
- This is also a good opportunity to leave the door open and get together later.
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Send a unique or intriguing text. Try sending an interesting link, voice note, or photo…anything that might get their attention. Never send a simple “hey” or “hi” text. It might seem like a good way to start a conversation, but it’s a little too obvious if you want to have rizz and flirt over text . Instead, open with something that captures their attention and makes them want to answer right away. For example, send them a link with the text, “This made me think of you.” They won’t be able to resist checking it out. [18] X Research source
- Another option is sending them a voice note instead of a normal text to say good morning.
- Or, send him a selfie of you out doing something fun with the text, “Wish you were here!”
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References
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a36329/how-to-flirt/
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/attraction/using-eye-contact-attraction-to-build-a-relationship/
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- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a7604/best-flirting-tips/
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/07/11/1014019821/flirting-how-to-dating-romance-advice
- ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/151-questions-to-ask-a-guy-theyll-actually-like-answering
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10402679/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-words/201209/mimicry-and-mirroring-can-be-good-or-bad
- ↑ https://academic.oup.com/cercor/article/26/10/3889/2389066?login=false
- ↑ https://practicalpie.com/flirty-bet-ideas/
- ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-humor-gap-2012-10-23/
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/learn-how-to-flirt.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201202/how-to-flirt-and-seduce-with-touch-part-1
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43795523/how-to-flirt-text/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/celebrity/music/a43482218/rizz-meaning-tiktok/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/communication/nonverbal-communication
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