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Hilarious jokes about lions, tigers, and bears—oh my!
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So, you’re trying to make a kid (or a kid at heart) laugh. Well, you’ve come to the right place! We’ve got all the best kid-friendly jokes about animals. From dogs and cats to pigs and sheep and dinosaurs and unicorns—there’s an animal joke here for everyone!

The Best Kid Jokes About Animals

  1. Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
  2. What’s a dog’s favorite type of pizza? Pup-eroni.
  3. How much money does a skunk have? One scent!
  4. What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.
  5. What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? Doyouthinkysaraus!
  6. Why shouldn’t you play board games with a cat? They tend to be cheetahs.
  7. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
Section 1 of 6:

Funny Animal Jokes

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  1. These jokes are witty and silly, making them perfect for kids (and kids at heart)! Try using one of these hilarious animal jokes the next time you want to make someone laugh:
    • What was the first animal in space?
      The cow who jumped over the moon. [1]
    • Why couldn’t the two elephants go swimming?
      They only had one pair of trunks between them.
    • Why did the turkey cross the road?
      To prove he wasn’t chicken!
    • Why shouldn’t you play board games with a cat?
      They tend to be cheetahs.
    • What’s more amazing than a talking dog?
      A spelling bee.
    • What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over him?
      Bugs Bunny.
    • What kind of bird works at a construction site?
      A crane.
    • What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
      You can’t tuna fish! [2]
    • What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
      A drizzly bear.
    • Why are elephants never rich?
      They work for peanuts!
    • What did the bored goat say?
      Mehhh!
    • Why do cats have minty breath?
      They use mousewash.
    • Where do kittens go on vacation?
      The mewseum.
    • What’s a dog’s favorite type of pizza?
      Pup-eroni.
    • What type of magazines do cows read?
      Cattlelogs.
    • What bird is always out of breath?
      A puffin.
    • When does a duck get up?
      At the quack of dawn.
    • Why don’t fish play tennis?
      They’re scared of the net.
    • What’s a frog’s favorite candy?
      A lollihop!
    • How do horses say hello?
      “Hay!”
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Section 2 of 6:

Knock-Knock Jokes About Animals

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  1. Opt for a silly knock-knock joke to get kids engaged. Knock-knock jokes are a super clever way to get kids involved with a joke. Plus, they’re goofy, fun, and clever! Here are some of our favorites:
    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      The interrupting cow.
      The interrupting cow—
      Moooo! [3]

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Owls.
      Owls who?
      Yes, they do.

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Cows go.
      Cows go who?
      No, silly. Cows go, “Mooo!”

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Lion.
      Lion who?
      Lion on your doorstep. Open up!

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Whale.
      Whale who?
      Whale, whale, whale. What do we have here?

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Kanga.
      Kanga who?
      No, it’s kangaroo!

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Moose.
      Moose who?
      Moose you be so nosy? [4]

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Goat.
      Goat who?
      Goat to the door and find out.

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Poodle.
      Poodle who?
      Poodle little mustard on my hot dog.

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Bison.
      Bison who?
      Bison Girl Scout cookies! [5]

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Candy.
      Candy who?
      Candy cow jump over the moon?

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Chicken.
      Chicken who?
      Chicken my pocket, but I can’t find my keys.

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Geese.
      Geese who?
      Geese what I got in the mail today!

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      A herd.
      A herd who?
      A herd you were home, so I came over!

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Ostrich.
      Ostrich who?
      Ostrich as far as I can, but I still can’t reach the doorbell! [6]

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Alpaca.
      Alpaca who?
      Alpaca suitcase and move in shortly.

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Beetle.
      Beetle who?
      I beetle the other people here. Go me!

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Rat.
      Rat who?
      Rat-a-tat-tate…is anyone home?

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Chicken.
      Chicken who?
      Just chicken this is the right house!

    • Knock, knock.
      Who’s there?
      Axolotl.
      Axolotl who?
      Axolotl surprised if anyone else tells you this joke.

Section 3 of 6:

Short Jokes About Animals

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  1. These animal jokes are short and sweet, which makes them perfect for kids with lower attention spans. Not only are they short, they’re absolutely hilarious! [7]
    • How fast can a duck go?
      At a quacking pace.
    • What happened when the lion ate the clown?
      It felt funny.
    • What is a reptile’s favorite film?
      The Lizard of Oz.
    • What do rabbits eat for breakfast?
      IHOP.
    • Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?
      She got too jumpy.
    • How much money does a skunk have?
      One scent!
    • What does the cat say after making a joke?
      “Just kitten!”
    • Why did the whale cross the street?
      To get to the other tide.
    • Where are fish in orbit?
      In trout-er space.
    • What fish only swims at night?
      A starfish.
    • Why do fish live in salt water?
      Pepper makes them sneeze.
    • How long do chickens work?
      Around the cluck!
    • What’s a frog’s favorite soda?
      Croak-a-Cola.
    • What do you call an alligator in a vest?
      An investigator.
    • What do you call a dog magician?
      A Labracadabrador.
    • What’s a dog’s favorite city?
      New Yorkie.
    • What do you call a penguin in the desert?
      Lost.
    • What bird is always sad?
      The blue jay.
    • What do you give a sick bird?
      Tweetment.
    • Why do giraffes have long necks?
      Because their feet sink. [8]
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Section 4 of 6:

Farm Animal Jokes

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  1. Tell a joke about pigs or chickens to get a laugh. What kid doesn’t love farm animals? Check out these jokes you can tell a chicken-, cow-, pig-, or sheep-loving kid:
    • What do you say to a cow that crosses in front of your car?
      Mooo-ve over. [9]
    • Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken?
      It was chicken.
    • What do ducks watch on TV?
      Duckumentaries.
    • What do you get when you cross a cow with a duck?
      Milk and quakers.
    • Where do cows go on a Friday night?
      The moo-vies.
    • Why did the chicken cross the playground?
      To get to the other slide.
    • What did the duck detective say to his partner?
      "Let’s quack this case!"
    • What did the mother cow say to the baby cow at night?
      It’s pasture bedtime, dairy. [10]
    • What is a horse’s favorite game to play?
      Stable tennis.
    • What is a dog in a cornfield called?
      A corn dog.
    • What do you call a cow sleeping at the farm?
      A bull-dozer. [11]
    • Why is it hard to talk to goats?
      Because they’re always kidding.
    • What’ does a cow watch in the morning?
      The Daily Moos.
    • What’s a sheep’s favorite game?
      Baa-dminton!
    • What happens when the cow laughs hard?
      It made a milkshake.
    • What do you call cows that have a sense of humor?
      Laughing stock.
    • What do you call a cow with no legs?
      Ground beef.
    • Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
      Because they lactose!
    • What part of a chicken is the most musical?
      The drumstick.
    • What sickness do horses get?
      Hay fever.
    • What do you get from a pampered cow?
      Spoiled milk! [12]
    • Where do sheep go on vacation?
      The Baaaahamas.
Section 5 of 6:

Dinosaur Jokes

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  1. Make anyone roar with laughter with these prehistoric jokes. These giant ancient animals are the perfect subject for a good joke! Here are some of our favorite jokes about dinosaurs: [13]
    • What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
      Doyouthinkysaraus!
    • What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
      A dino-snore!
    • What do dinosaurs put on their steak?
      Dinosauce.
    • What came after the dinosaur?
      It’s tail!
    • Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
      To eat the chickens on the other side!
    • What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all day?
      Lazy bones.
    • What did the dinosaur use to build a house?
      A dino-saw.
    • What makes more noise than a dinosaur?
      Two dinosaurs.
    • What do you call a dinosaur that doesn’t take a bath?
      Stink-o-saurus.
    • What’s the best way to talk to a dinosaur?
      Long distance.
    • What kind of dinosaurs make good police officers?
      Tricera-cops.
    • What’s as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
      A dinosaur’s shadow.
    • What did the caveman say as he slid down the dinosaur’s neck?
      “So long!”
    • What comes after extinction?
      Y-stinction.
    • How do you invite a dinosaur to a cafe?
      Tea, Rex?
    • Where do dinosaurs spend their money?
      The dino-store.
    • What do you call a baby dinosaur?
      A wee-rex!
    • What did dinosaurs use to drive their cars?
      Fossil fuel.
    • What kind of explosions do dinosaurs like?
      Dinomite!
    • What does a triceratops sit on?
      Its tricera-bottom.
    • Why should you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
      Their tales are too long.
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Section 6 of 6:

Magical Creature Jokes

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  1. Mystical and magical creatures are just as real to kids as dogs and cats are to adults! So, why not include them in the punchline of a kid-friendly joke?
    • Did you hear about the unicorn with a negative attitude?
      She always said neigh. [14]
    • What do unicorns call their dad?
      Pop corn.
    • Which state do unicorns like most?
      Maine.
    • Which mythical creature never cleans its room?
      The Loch Mess Monster.
    • What do you call a mythical creature that always wants to be in the spotlight?
      The centaur of attention.
    • What mythical creature always gets lost?
      A where-wolf.
    • Why do dragons sleep during the day?
      So they can fight knights! [15]
    • How can you tell how much a dragon weighs?
      They come with scales.
    • What does a dragon eat for a snack?
      Firecrackers.
    • What does a dragon like to eat at a restaurant?
      Hot wings.
    • What do sea monsters eat?
      Fish and ships!

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