16 Things to Do When It Feels like Nothing in Your Life Is Going Right

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Being surrounded by negative people or holding yourself to unrealistic expectations can make it easy to tell yourself that nothing is going right in your life. But the truth is, everyone experiences ups and downs in their lives, and there are many great things in your life to be thankful for. If you’ve been feeling down on yourself recently, keep reading to learn where these negative thoughts might be coming from, what you can do to change them into positive ones, and what actions you can take to confidently move forward with your life.

This article is based on an interview with our professional matchmaker, Michelle Shahbazyan, founder of the LA Life Coach. Check out the full interview here.

1

Write down your negative thoughts.

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    Change negative thoughts into positive ones by taking the time to acknowledge those thoughts. One way to do this is to write them down when they come to you. As you make your list and read over it, you might be able to detect patterns in your thinking and come up with solutions to address these negative perceptions you hold.
    • It might also help to keep a journal where you can write down your honest thoughts and feelings.
    • Explore questions like, “Why am I having these negative thoughts?” “How can I change them?” and “Is there any evidence to support these thoughts?”
    • Practice mindfulness to get in touch with your inner thoughts and emotions. For example, do meditation or some breathing exercises to help clear your mind and focus on the present.
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2

Practice gratitude.

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    Practicing gratitude helps you focus on the positives. Negative thoughts like “Nothing is going right” can sometimes overshadow the many good things happening in your life. Take time out of your day to remind yourself of all the things you have to be grateful for. This might include things like your family, friends, job, house, or even pets. [1]
    • Another idea is to start a gratitude journal . Use this to write down 3-5 things you’re grateful for each day and keep the positivity flowing.
    • Tell others when something good happens. For example, don’t hesitate to share with your friends or family when you do well on a project or assignment. When you share your happiness with others, you might enjoy it even more.
3

Get rid of the negative relationships in your life.

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    If you have people in your life who are overly negative or very critical of you, remove those negative relationships from your life and make room for pursuing more positive ones. If completely cutting out negative people seems difficult, another option is to identify the negative parts of your relationship and open a dialogue with the other person to address these issues.
    • Instead of completely cutting the other person out of your life, it might help to simply take a break from one another. Spending a few days, weeks, or even months apart can give you time to reassess your relationship and acknowledge any issues.
    • If you have people around you who tend to be very pessimistic about their lives, you might unconsciously adopt a similar attitude and start noticing more negatives than positives.
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4

Identify your strengths.

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    Identifying your strengths makes you acknowledge your positive traits. You may be having these negative thoughts because you don’t feel confident in your abilities. Listing out your strengths can help you see just how capable you truly are. Take a few moments to list out the things you’re good at and genuinely recognize the areas you excel in. By doing so, you can help raise your confidence and self-esteem.
    • If you’re having trouble, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends and family and ask them what they think you might be good at.
    • Write down a list and read over it every now and then to remind yourself that there are plenty of things you’re amazing at.
5

Avoid comparing yourself to others.

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    Avoiding comparing yourself to others and focusing only on your personal standards can help in turning your negative thoughts around. Instead of holding yourself to others’ standards, engage in self-comparison. For example, compare your past and present self to see just how much progress you’ve made. [2]
    • It might also help to take a break from social media . People usually tend to only post the highlights from their lives, so constantly seeing their posts can make you think more negatively as time goes on.
    • When you compare yourself to others, it can sometimes feel like everything is working out perfectly for them and that nothing is going right for you.
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6

Speak kindly to yourself.

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    Show yourself compassion and be forgiving of your mistakes. Speaking kindly toward yourself can do wonders in banishing pessimistic thoughts. Change negative thoughts like, “I can’t do this” and “Nothing’s going right” to more encouraging messages like, “I’m a strong person’ and “It may take some time, but things will work out.” [3]
    • Think about how you’d talk to a friend if they were thinking negatively about themselves and tell yourself the same things. [4]
    • Forgive yourself for any mistakes you’ve made and be patient with yourself as you slowly start to change your thinking. You’re only human after all.
7

Surround yourself with positive people.

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    If you’ve had a rough day or week, spend some time with loved ones to help raise your spirits. Surrounding yourself with positive people and healthy relationships can help you feel happier and more positive about the good things in your life. [5]
    • It might also benefit you to join clubs or organizations in your community where you can meet new people and form even more connections.
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8

Practice self-care.

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    Doing self-care can reenergize you. When it feels like nothing is going right in your life, stop for a moment and just take a step back. Instead of telling yourself you need to immediately go out and fix it, allow yourself to take a break and just focus on yourself . Once you’ve rested, you might be more energized to begin moving forward with your life.
    • Make sure to take care of both your physical and mental health.
    • For your physical health, eat healthy, get enough sleep each night, and exercise to fight off stress.
    • Do relaxing activities , spend time doing your favorite hobbies, and hang out with friends to look after your mental health.
9

Let go of the past.

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    It can be really hard to move forward and make changes in your life if you’re too focused on past mistakes. By letting go of the past, you’ll have more energy to focus on the present and future. One thing that can help is allowing yourself to acknowledge your mistakes and reminding yourself that they’re in the past. [6]
    • If there’s any unfinished business from your past that’s making it hard to move on, take the time to address it. For example, apologize to people you feel you may have hurt or pay back any debts you may owe.
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10

Discover what you’re curious about.

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    To get yourself out of a slump of negative thoughts, it can help to find a new passion. Seek out new experiences, talk to new people, and learn new things to find something that truly excites you. Stay curious and maintain an open mind . You never know what you’ll end up liking.
    • When you discover something you’re passionate about, it can help you restore feelings of purpose and motivate you to keep trying new challenges.
    EXPERT TIP

    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist

    Engaging in activities you truly enjoy can help build purpose in your life. Seek out new experiences that broaden your horizons and keep life interesting. By finding activities that spark joy, you'll cultivate a more positive mindset and a sense of fulfillment.

11

Reassess your values and core beliefs.

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    It might feel like nothing is going right in your life because the things you’re pursuing don’t truly align with your values. Take some time to define your personal values by listing out the things that are important to you and identifying things that made you feel truly alive and engaged.
    • Use this as an opportunity to get to know yourself . For example, explore your likes and dislikes, fears, dreams, and core beliefs about humanity.
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12

Develop a growth mindset.

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    When you develop a growth mindset , you maintain the belief that change is possible. To create this mindset, make an effort to view mistakes and failures as learning opportunities and be willing to receive feedback from others.
    • Rather than being hard on yourself when you mess up, ask yourself, “What can I do better next time?” “What did I do well?” and “How can I avoid making this mistake again?”
    • It’s possible that you’re unconsciously engaging in self-sabotaging thoughts. For example, when faced with a new challenge, you might instinctively tell yourself, “I can’t do this.” But when you tell yourself you can’t do something, it can make you anxious and affect your overall performance. [7]
13

Set small, actionable goals.

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    Setting short-term goals can help you gain confidence. When you set these goals, make sure they’re specific and have actionable steps that you know you’ll be able to follow through on. As you continuously achieve these smaller goals, it can be easier to work up to larger, more ambitious goals.
    • An example of a short-term goal would be something like putting 5% of your monthly income into a savings account or eating meat-free dinners one day a week.
    • Keep your goals realistic. A reason you might feel like nothing is working out is that the goals you’re setting are beyond what most people are capable of.
    • For example, telling yourself that you’re going to get every single person you meet to like you. It’s natural for some people to get along and others to not, so this is probably an unrealistic goal.
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14

Look to others to gain inspiration.

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    You can learn a lot by interacting with other people and hearing about their experiences. Through these interactions, you might be able to gain some insight into what you want to pursue in your life and what your own beliefs and values are. Asking others to teach you skills is also a good way to gain new experiences and try new things.
    • Find a role model who has similar beliefs and values, and emulate their positive actions and behaviors.
    • Find a mentor who can teach you new skills and act as a source of support for you as you try new things.
15

Help others.

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    If you feel like nothing is going right in your life, helping others can help raise your confidence and self-esteem. Volunteer in your community, help out around your house, or be there to support a friend when they’re going through a hard time. [8]
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16

Talk to a therapist for more support.

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    Getting yourself out of a slump of negative thoughts can certainly be difficult, but there’s no rule saying you need to do it alone. If you’re having a hard time, getting counseling can provide you with a safe space to work through your thoughts. Your therapist will also likely have exercises you can try to help raise your confidence and self-esteem.
    • It’s possible that you may be dealing with a more serious mental health issue, such as depression. Feelings of hopelessness, failure, and sadness, or the loss of the energy to pursue things you once enjoyed are potential signs. [9]
    • If you believe you have any of these symptoms, reach out to a therapist or medical professional as soon as possible.

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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.mhanational.org/stay-positive
      2. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/self-esteem
      3. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/self-esteem
      4. ↑ https://www.mhanational.org/stay-positive
      5. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
      6. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/self-esteem
      7. ↑ https://www.excelsior.edu/article/the-dangers-of-negative-thinking-and-how-to-master-positive-self-talk/
      8. ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/low-self-esteem/
      9. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007

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