How to Make Your Cat Love You

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Make your cat love you by playing with them consistently, brushing them regularly, and giving them a special post to scratch on. It also helps to learn your cat's body language so you can know what type of mood they're in. Our veterinarian expert Brian Bourquin suggests learning a little bit about cat behavior first so that you can understand why cats do certain things. By understanding and regularly caring for your cat, your owner-feline relationship is bound to improve.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Understanding Your Cat

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  1. Even though cats really need your care, they have a strong need for independence and personal space. While cats enjoy being stroked, they are not always interested in interaction with people.
    • One of the biggest mistakes pet owners make is to treat cats like dogs. Remember that they are very different animals!
    • Dogs are pack animals originally bred to work alongside people. In contrast, cats are relatively solitary animals that historically served humans by killing vermin on their own. [1]
    • Don’t smother cats or be offended if they hide from you sometimes. This is part of their nature.
  2. When cats are punished by yelling or other aggressive actions, they simply tend run away. For the most part, cats do not learn through discipline. Your cat will not love you if you're a mean owner.
    • Never strike a cat as this will only make matters worse.
    • While spraying a cat with water to punish bad behaviours is a common tactic, water-spraying may make your cat fear and distrust of you [2]
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  3. Like humans, there are some foods that cats prefer over all others. Find out what these foods are, and instead of discipline use treats to reinforce your cat’s positive behaviour. Tastes among cats vary, but small tuna flakes and cooked chicken pieces often prove irresistible. Ration these treats to make your cat love you. [3]
    • Avoid feeding cats milk; contrary to popular belief, dairy is unhealthy for them.
    • Also avoid feeding cats chocolate, candy, raw eggs, raw meat or fish. [4]
    • Remember that treats are not a substitute for full meals of cat food.
  4. Although there are certain behaviours common to all cats, considerable variation exists. Spend time getting to know what your cat likes and dislikes. Knowing and respecting your cat's unique personality is important to getting it to love you.
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Part 2
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Communicating with Your Cat

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  1. Much like humans, cats use body language as a form of communication to express everything from trust to fear. Their postures convey important messages. For example:
    • An arched back, upright hair along the spine, and unsheathed claws means that your cat feels threatened. Leave it alone for time being! [5]
    • If your cat nudges you, it may want to play.
    • If your cat curls its tail around you, it’s probably expressing contentment.
    • When a cat approaches you with it tail pointing up and then curling round slightly at the top it is wanting to see you and be petted and play with you, let a cat check you out first by putting your hand out and letting them sniff it before you stole them.
    • If its tail is tucked below or between its legs, your cat is likely feeling anxious or insecure. [6]
  2. Purring is a sign of love and contentment. Growling and hissing means stay away. Meowing is an attention-getting vocalization that expresses everything from hunger to a desire for affection.
    • Cats do not meow at each other; they meow to communicate with people.
    • Constant meowing may indicate illness and require a trip to the veterinarian. [7]
  3. While polite in conversations between people, many cats find extended eye contact threatening. [8] When cats blink in your presence it is a sign of trust.
    • The next time your cat starts blinking at you, try mimicking the behaviour. [9]
    • By blinking slowly, you are communicating trust and openness, and fostering a loving relationship.
  4. Slowly bend down before lifting your cat into the air. If a cat can see you before you pick it up, it is less likely to be frightened.
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Part 3
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Caring for Your Cat

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  1. If your cat is safe and protected, it will love you more. Ensure your cat has a safe place to sleep, feels secure while toileting, has unobstructed access to food, and is not threatened by other human or animal members of the household.
    • Ensure that your cat cannot access poisonous substances.
    • Keep your pantry and cupboard doors closed, as cats are curious animals and they may get into trouble.
    • Outfit your cat with a collar with a quick release buckle (in case he gets stuck) that includes contact information in case it runs away.
  2. Cats are creatures of habit. Don't change their feeding times drastically or very often. When cats do something good try to reward them with a treat, but don't let this interfere with their main meal. To get your cat to love you more, avoid frequently changing the type or brand of food they eat.
    • Cats can be perfectly healthy eating dry food, canned food, or a combination of both. [10]
    • Most experts recommend feeding your cat no more than two meals a day. In industrialized countries, one in five cats is obese, which can cause serious health problems. [11]
  3. When leaving home, make sure your cat has enough food and access to fresh water. If you're away from home for an extended period, ensure that someone keeps an eye on your cat's well-being, cleans its litter, and provides some stimulation. A neglected cat will not love you.
    • While cats are fairly independent creatures, they also need human attention and regular grooming.
    • If going on vacation, consider a cattery or pet sitter.
  4. Cats love cleanliness; if their litter box is dirty they may find somewhere else to go. Add fresh litter daily. Wash out the box with soap and water routinely. [12]
    • Don't suddenly change a cat's type or brand of litter.
    • When switching to a new brand of litter, gradually introduce it by mixing the new and the old.
  5. They love it! Regular brushing will keep their coats and skin healthy, prevent matting, and reduce shedding and hairballs. Grooming is a great chance to discover lumps, fleas, or injuries. Also use brushing as an opportunity to bond with your cat. [13]
    • Avoid brushing your cat against the grain of its fur; this may cause discomfort and stress.
    • Remember to brush gently in long strokes rather than in short, rough strokes.
  6. It will love simple and inexpensive toys -- try using a toy attached to string to simulate prey animals. Make toys scurry like a rodent, or flutter like a bird. Your cat will playfully pounce on toys you move in front of them. Cats love owners that stimulate them through play.
    • Encourage your cat to pounce on toys, not your hand!
  7. Cats are naturally inclined to scratch surfaces in your home, such as furniture. But they can be trained to scratch specific objects, particularly posts fitted with rough surfaces such as dense carpet or sisal. Your cat will love you better if it has access to appropriate scratching areas in your home.
  8. Consider purchasing or building a “cat tree” or “kitty condo,” which doubles as a scratching-post and a play structure. They will love climbing and playing on this kind of structure.
  9. Many cats prefer the person who feeds them to others in the home. If there is more than one person in your house, try to be the person who feeds the cat. The cat will get used to this and come to you straight away if hungry or it's time for dinner.
    • One of the best ways to get a cat to love you is through its stomach!
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I get my cat to sleep with me and stay inside?
    Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
    Veterinarian
    Dr. Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS is a veterinarian with over 30 years of experience in veterinary surgery and companion animal practice. She graduated from the University of Glasgow in 1987 with a degree in veterinary medicine and surgery. She has worked at the same animal clinic in her hometown for over 20 years.
    Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
    Veterinarian
    Expert Answer
    You can't force a cat to do anything so you need to convince him that inside is a great place to be. Do this by hiding cat food around the home so that he stalks around to find it (instead of putting a bowl of food down). Provide a calm environment with plenty of hiding places (cardboard boxes will do) and places he can perch up high to feel safe ( a cat tree) . When the cat approaches you, stroke and pet him, perhaps offering a treat so that he links you to pleasant things and then wants to spend more time with you.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    How can I make my cat less shy?
    Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
    Veterinarian
    Dr. Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS is a veterinarian with over 30 years of experience in veterinary surgery and companion animal practice. She graduated from the University of Glasgow in 1987 with a degree in veterinary medicine and surgery. She has worked at the same animal clinic in her hometown for over 20 years.
    Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
    Veterinarian
    Expert Answer
    You can slowly build up her confidence and trust by always being calm and gentle around her. Try lying on the floor with some treats scattered around you. Also, avoid making direct eye contact with your cat because this may make her feel threatened. Let her approach you. Do not try to force her to be more social.
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  • Question
    How can I stop an angry cat from being aggressive to me?
    Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
    Veterinarian
    Dr. Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS is a veterinarian with over 30 years of experience in veterinary surgery and companion animal practice. She graduated from the University of Glasgow in 1987 with a degree in veterinary medicine and surgery. She has worked at the same animal clinic in her hometown for over 20 years.
    Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
    Veterinarian
    Expert Answer
    It takes time and patience in order to build the cat's trust in you. Most angry cats are actually fearful and they attack because they feel unsafe. With this in mind make sure the cat always has an escape route out of the room, and you don't stand between him and the door. Also, avoid staring at the cat as this is a challenge to a fight in cat language. Instead, don't look at him directly and speak to him softly when in the same place. Talk to him when you put his food down, step back, and croon to him while he eats. Also, carry tasty cat treats in your pocket and drop them around you when he's about, to help him associate you with good things.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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    Not Helpful 27 Helpful 124
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Cats are sensitive when you pet their stomaches and they may bite or scratch if you get too close. Once a cat gets to know and trust you, then it may let you pet its tummy a little.
      • When a cat growls or hisses at you, the best thing to do is step away and give them some alone time. Trying to get closer to them will only make them get more aggressive.
      • Spaying or neutering your cat might make them more affectionate and laid-back.
      • Some cats love to be scratched where their spine meets their tail.
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      Warnings

      • If a cat hisses or swipes at you don't try to continue giving affection. It will just make them angrier. Instead leave them alone for a while and try again later.
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      • Do not hit your cat if it makes a mistake. Be patient.
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      • An injured or very sick cat may sometimes purr to try and calm itself down. This is not an expression of contentment, but rather the opposite. If your cat shows distinctly unhappy or defensive behavior, but still purrs, it may be a good idea to check for injuries or to visit the vet.
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      • Do not pick up your cat frequently. This will make your cat annoyed.
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      • Do not wake up your cat when it is in a deep sleep. This would make your cat annoyed. Wake up your cat only if it is really necessary.
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      • Never grab or pull your cat's tail; it can hurt them, and they definitely won't appreciate it. [15]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/cat-care/cat-history
      2. ↑ https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/training-your-cat
      3. ↑ https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/training-your-cat
      4. ↑ http://pets.webmd.com/cats/ss/slideshow-foods-your-cat-should-never-eat
      5. ↑ Brian Bourquin, DVM. Veterinarian. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
      6. ↑ https://www.webmd.com/pets/cats/features/cat-body-language
      7. ↑ http://pets.webmd.com/cats/guide/cats-excessive-meowing
      8. ↑ Brian Bourquin, DVM. Veterinarian. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
      9. ↑ Brian Bourquin, DVM. Veterinarian. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
      1. ↑ http://pets.webmd.com/cats/guide/feeding-your-adult-cat-what-you-need-to-know?page=3
      2. ↑ http://pets.webmd.com/cats/guide/feeding-your-adult-cat-what-you-need-to-know?page=2
      3. ↑ http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/cats/tips/cat_care_essentials.html?referrer=https://www.google.ca/
      4. ↑ http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/cats/tips/cat_care_essentials.html?referrer=https://www.google.ca/
      5. ↑ Brian Bourquin, DVM. Veterinarian. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
      6. ↑ Brian Bourquin, DVM. Veterinarian. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To make your cat love you, try feeding it delicious treats, like tuna flakes or cooked pieces of chicken. Also, try to play with your cat regularly, even if you're just dragging a piece of string across the ground and letting your cat chase it, so your cat bonds with you. You can also earn your cat's affection by being the one who feeds it every day, since cats tend to love the person who gives them food. Just remember to force or rush things with your cat or you could actually make your relationship worse. To learn how to recognize your cat's body language and vocalizations, scroll down!

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