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Expert tips & tricks for connecting with singles on Instagram
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Tired of swiping through dating apps? Did you know that one of the hottest places to meet singles is Instagram? Instagram allows you to see a more authentic side of people and promotes genuine interactions. It doesn’t gamify dating the way dating apps do. [1] X Research source All it takes is a little Insta-know-how and charm. This wikiHow article will teach you the best ways to find and meet singles on Instagram, from finding the best singles hashtags to striking up a conversation. We'll also show you how to tweak your profile to make yourself irresistible to potential partners, with tips from dating coach John Keegan.
Meeting Singles on Instagram
Narrow your search by location to focus on people near you. Then, search for posts under popular singles hashtags to find people who are openly single. Follow the ones you think you might be interested in.
Steps
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Search for popular singles hashtags to find other singles. Type "#single" or "#singlelife" into the Instagram search bar to see the top posts and reels containing that tag. Scroll through the results to see if there's anyone you might be interested in. You can also try other hashtags popular with singles like "#singlelifebelike," "#singlelifeproblems," "#singlegirlproblems," "#allthesingleladies," and "#beingsingle," and "singleforever."
- You can also find other common hashtags single people use on Instagram by searching the word single , tapping Tags , and scrolling through the list. This is a great way to find more niche hashtags used by single people you might relate to. For example, "#singlemommy," "#singlegay," "#singledad," and "#singlelifememes" might introduce you to single people who share more in common with you than the generic single hashtags.
- Follow the hashtags so new posts using those tags will show up on your feed.
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Search by location. Another great way to find eligible singles is to find posts and reels tagged near you. Tap the Search icon and search for your city, your neighborhood, your favorite singles bar, or any nearby establishment or landmark where single people might spend time. Tap Places to narrow the results, and then tap a location to see photos people have shared from that location.
- If an attractive person often shares selfies, uses singles-related hashtags, or mentions that they're single in their posts, they might be open to conversation!
- You can also zoom in or out on the map with 2 fingers to narrow or broaden the map radius.
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Search for your hobbies and interests. A great way to meet potential new partners is to find people who share common interests. Search for your favorite activities, local bands, hiking locations, sports teams, or anything else you enjoy to see related posts. Follow hashtags of things you are interested in. Check out the profiles of people who like the same things you do—if they indicate that they're single in their posts, you can start a conversation based on your mutual hobbies.
- You don't always have to search for hashtags! When you search for a hashtag, you'll only see results from people who used that specific hashtag. If you search for keywords without the hashtag symbol, you'll also see posts in which people used those words in the caption or description. This is a great way to find people who don't necessarily use hashtags.
- For instance, if you enjoy wakeboarding and want to meet someone who also likes watersports, you might search for a hashtag like "#LakeTravisWakeboarding" or keywords like "wakeboarding Tahoe" and "wakeboard women."
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Make sure your profile is public. If you have a private Instagram profile, singles you haven't met yet won't be able to find you! Tap the three-line menu icon on your profile, go to Settings > Privacy and Security , and remove the checkmark next to "Private Account.” [2] X Research source
- This will also make it so that your tagged content shows up in the hashtag feeds.
- Keep in mind that having a public profile means you can't control who sees your content. It may also open the gates for harassment from strangers.
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State that you are single in your bio. There’s no shame in being single. You may have a follower who is interested but thinks you are taken because they’ve seen pictures of you with your ex. Stating that you are single publicly on your profile lets those who are interested know that you are available. [3] X Research source
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Choose a profile picture that shows off your personality. Your profile photo should be something that gives singles insight into your hobbies and interests so they don't think you're just self-branding yourself as an attractive face. Use a high-quality camera or set up a timer on your camera phone so it stands out from the everyday selfie pic.
- For instance, if you’re an outdoorsy person, your primary photo might be a wide-shot selfie of you out hiking or kayaking. If you’re a voracious reader, you might post a photo of you in front of your bookshelf. Or, if you’re an animal lover, be sure to post a good one of you and your best furry friend!
- If you want to take a close-up, a selfie is perfectly acceptable. Make sure your face is in focus and the background isn't too distracting.
- Don't go overboard with filters because you want them to know and like the real you, not the you with CGI bunny ears or too-perfect makeup!
Fun Fact: Due to the way the human brain makes sense of images, simple pictures are often deemed more attractive than busy, complex ones. A simpler image is one where your face is well-lit and in focus and the background is slightly blurry. If you don't have a quality camera, your smartphone's "headshot" or "portrait" modes may be able to give you this effect (or something close to it).
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Delete posts and reels that no longer reflect who you are as a person. Scroll through your profile and delete old posts that you wouldn't want potential partners to see. Your Instagram profile should contain posts that reflect who you are today so eligible singles will have a better idea of who you are and what you’re into. [4] X Research source
- For instance, if your page is full of you out partying with a different date on your arm in each photo, delete those because your crush may think you're a player.
- However, it's perfectly acceptable to keep photos of you with friends, even if those friends are people of the gender you prefer! If you have lots of photos with friends who might be mistaken for romantic partners, be sure to tag something like “#bestfriends,” “#brotherfromanothermother,” or “#surrogatesister” so people can infer it’s a platonic relationship.
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Post romantic posts with hashtags like #single or #singlelife to put yourself out there. Just like you've been searching for singles using hashtags, make sure other singles can find you with those same hashtags! Post funny images and memes that might fall under the “#singlelife” or "#singleforever" hashtags. You can also post romantic quotes, lyrics, or advice, but don't go overboard or you could seem desperate. If you typically post every day, keep it to 1 or 2 "single" posts a week so it doesn’t seem like your whole Instagram existence is about finding a partner. You want people to see other aspects of your personality too.
- For example, you might snap a photo of you holding up a massive bowl of pasta and caption it with something like: “Cooked too much food, wishing for someone to enjoy it with #singlelife.”
- If you want to be a little more forward about it, you can also say you're single in your bio line.
Tip: Be creative with how you put yourself out there because it will give others a better idea who you are. If you like poetry, for instance, post quotes from romantic poets like Pablo Neruda or William Butler Yeats.
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Use Instagram stories and reels to show your unique personality. Videos are more engaging and will let others see you in a more real-life format. Sharing video reels can even expose you to more potential singles you might not reach with regular photos. Many people post stories more often than they do photos to their timeline—it's more common to see multiple stories per day than photo posts. Record yourself doing things you enjoy (even if it’s just being silly) to give your crush a more intimate idea of who you are and why you’re so great!
- Keegan explains that Instagram is a great platform for sharing the best and most interesting parts of yourself with potential romantic partners. Share content that’s lighthearted and fun, but also deep and meaningful to you so they can really get to know you.
- Try to post stories and reels that encourage people to respond—you can create games , ask questions, share memes, and more!
- Don't forget to add hashtags that make it easy for people to find you.
- If you have a crush on someone, check out their stories too! Since you can see who has seen your stories , your crush will see that you've been checking them out, and vice-versa.
- If someone has been looking at your Instagram stories a lot, it could mean they're interested, or that they're curious about your life.
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Follow single people you're interested in getting to know. Once you come across a particular single person who piques your interest, tap the Follow icon at the top of their profile. They’ll get a notification saying you follow them, which means they might look at your profile, like what they see, and decide to follow you back! [5] X Research source
- Now that you’re both following each other, the more you interact with “likes” and comments, the more likely each of you are to show up in one another’s feed.
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“Like” the posts of single people you're interested in (within moderation! ). If the person you're into posts several times a day, “like” only 1 or 2 per day depending on how often you use Instagram. If they only post a photo every other day or once a week, “like” 1 or 2 photos a week. Try to match their usage style so you know you’re not inadvertently making them feel uncomfortable with a flood of “likes.”
- If they post selfies , definitely “like” those because it gives them a hint that you're physically attracted to them!
- There’s no rule for how many posts you should “like” within a certain period of time—just go with your gut on how often to do it to get their attention without seeming overbearing or annoying.
- You can see a list of all of the posts you've liked by tapping the three lines on your profile and selecting Your Activity > Interactions > Likes . [6] X Research source
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Leave charming or flirty comments. Scroll through your crush's page to find a photo you like. Leave a friendly comment about the photo that shows you relate to them in some way. This can be something funny, heartfelt, or flirty —just be authentic and respectful. If they reply to your comment, feel free to comment back. If they don’t reply, wait a few days before commenting on another post.
- For example, if your crush posts a photo of some beautifully-plated pasta they made from scratch and tagged it “#nomnom”, you might write: "#nomnom is right! You've got skills. I'd love to try some of your edible art sometime. 🙂"
- Add a heart or wink emoji to your comments if you want to be a little bolder.
- Don't comment on every single one of their photos because that can come off as creepy.
- If they don’t reply to any of your comments, you might take that as a sign they’re not interested, which could be true. However, if they don’t reply to anyone’s comments, they might just be busy.
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Send a direct message (DM) . Keegan says that sending a DM can be a fun, low-pressure way to let your crush know that you’re thinking about them. Write a specific comment about something they've posted—don't be random or too suggestive. Make yourself stand out by trying to authentically relate to them. Asking an open-ended question is a good way to start a conversation because it prompts a more thoughtful reply.
- For example: "Hey, I saw your post about Seveneves and I'm a huge fan of Neal Stephenson too! What did you think of the ending? We should totally nerd out together!"
- If you have mutual friends with your crush, that's a great opener for sending them a message. For instance, you might say: "Hey, I noticed you were friends with Stan and I kind of just stumbled onto your Instagram. I really, really love the aesthetic of your Instagram posts, and I just wanted to say hi!"
- If you don't hear back from them, don't flood their inbox with more messages—play it cool. If it's been over a week of silence, take the hint and move on (they're not interested).
- You don't want to come on too strong. The idea is to be friendly and charming, just like you would in a face-to-face setting.
- Before sending a DM, check their profile–some people don’t want unsolicited DMs and will say so in their bio!
- Reader Poll: We asked 313 wikiHow readers who've slid into their crush’s DMs, and 56% of them agreed that the best way to do so is by responding to their story with an emoji or quick reaction. [Take Poll]
Warning: Only send them a DM if they follow you back or have thoughtfully engaged with you over comments. Otherwise, you're kind of taking a blind shot in the dark. Plus, depending on their settings, they may not even be able to see your messages unless they follow you back.
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Share your thoughts with Notes. It can be nerve-wracking to send someone a DM out of the blue. Using Notes can take some of the pressure off. Sharing your feelings or asking a question via a note is a good way to bait someone into starting a conversation. You can also post romantic quotes or lyrics from your favorite love songs. Again, don’t go overboard with it or you might seem desperate. Share other aspects of your personality too.
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Add people you are interested in to your Close Friends list. People you add to your close friends list have more access to the content you post and may see more private content than normal people. You can post content that directly grabs their attention. Adding people to your close friends list also lets them know they’re a little more special than the average people you follow. [7] X Research source
- To create a Close Friends list, go to your profile and tap the ☰ More menu, then select Close Friends under the Who can see your content header. Tap the bubble next to anyone you want to add to your Close Friends list, then tap Done . [8] X Research source
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Ask them out once you've built a rapport over DMs. If you're on a first-name basis with your crush or if you've been chatting every day for a few days to a week, go ahead and ask them out! Don't overthink it, just ask as you would ask out anyone in person or via text.
- For example: "Hey, I really like chatting with you and think you're awesome. Any interest in continuing our convo over coffee or dinner sometime soon?"
- If they say no, be understanding, and don't get down on yourself. There are tons of other people out there!
- If they live far away and you’re interested in starting a long-distance relationship , ask if they’re willing to video chat instead. Who knows, you might arrange to meet up someday!
- Keep in mind there are risks involved in meeting someone in person . To stay safe, arrange your first hangout in a public location, and share your location with one or more trusted friends or family members.
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Attend or host an InstaMeet. InstaMeets are local get-togethers for Instagram users within a specific area or city. It’s a great way to meet new friends and potentially… new romantic partners. An InstaMeet may be a small gathering of just a couple of people, or it may be a large party with planned activities. [9] X Research source
- To find InstaMeets in your area, search the hashtag “#instameet” followed by your city or town (i.e. “#instameetdenver”). If you can’t find an InstaMeet in your area, you may want to consider hosting one yourself. Even if only a few people show up, it’s still a get-together.
- If you are hosting an InstaMeet, keep it simple. Find a nice bar or a park to meet up at and schedule a time. You can include a few planned activities such as a Photowalk (where you go for a walk and take pictures in front of notable landmarks in your area) or a photo scavenger hunt.
- Promote the InstaMeet. Where you are hosting, attending, or participating, promote the InstaMeet to get as many people to show up as possible. Use the hashtag “#instameet” in your posts as well as your city-specific hashtag (i.e. “#instameetdenver”).
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you keep a conversation going over DMs?John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.Ask thoughtful questions to keep the conversation going. For instance, if the other person posts lots of pictures of organic food, you might ask "What's your favorite organic place in the city to eat at?" or "What's your favorite vegan spot?" Feel free to ask more general questions, too, like "What's your favorite place?" or "What did you do last year?"
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QuestionSo, I've been dealing with Instagram users who try to trick and use me into taking my money. How can I find a single person on Instagram who isn't a scammer?Nicole Levine is a Technology Writer and Editor for wikiHow. She has more than 20 years of experience creating technical documentation and leading support teams at major web hosting and software companies. Nicole also holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Portland State University and teaches composition, fiction-writing, and zine-making at various institutions.This is a tricky one, as there are so many scammers posing as single people :( One thing you could do is check out the person's posts and evaluate the comments. Does it seem like the person has real-life friends who interact with their posts? Many Instagram scammers purchase followers to make it seem like they're legit, but their followers don't generally leave comments on their posts other than the occasional emoji or spam. You could also go over the person's friends list and see if the people they follow (and who follow them) seem like real people. Another trick is to stick to people in your general area by checking out location tags near you. Scammers usually avoid using location tags.
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QuestionWhen someone ask for my picture on Instagram should I give it to them?Nicole Levine is a Technology Writer and Editor for wikiHow. She has more than 20 years of experience creating technical documentation and leading support teams at major web hosting and software companies. Nicole also holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Portland State University and teaches composition, fiction-writing, and zine-making at various institutions.Be very careful when sending people photos to people you don't know on Instagram. If you don't know and trust the person asking for the photo, don't send them any photos that you wouldn't feel comfortable sharing on your public Instagram feed.
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Tips
- Take it slow when you’re talking to your crush; don’t rush into gushy relationship talk right away because it might scare them off.Thanks
- Think about your relationship goals and be open about them so you’re not leading anyone on.Thanks
- Keep in mind that first impressions can be misleading, especially since people tend to only show the “highlights” of their life on social media.Thanks
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Warnings
- If someone sends you lewd messages or content that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, block them. [10] X Research sourceThanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/love-sex/instagram-dating-app-hashtag-b2479614.html
- ↑ https://help.instagram.com/116024195217477
- ↑ https://cyberdatingexpert.com/instagram-how-to-date-and-flirt/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201910/how-brand-yourself-the-right-way
- ↑ https://help.instagram.com/741619032578266
- ↑ https://help.instagram.com/367550509992787
- ↑ https://time.com/6256719/gen-z-instagram-dating-app/
- ↑ https://help.instagram.com/476003390920140
- ↑ https://help.instagram.com/489600807738748
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