Q&A for How to Accept the Fact Your Partner Is Not Intelligent

Try to share your feelings, thoughts, and needs without coming from a dictating or controlling place. Work on having a better understanding of yourself, and definitely listen to your partner so you can understand them. Once you establish a healthy foundation without being angry or controlling, it'll be a lot easier to open up.

Yes, they do. If your partner is with you despite being more intelligent than you, then clearly you have plenty of other wonderful qualities that they love.

For starters, you can take an aptitude test, such as the SAT or ACT, to find out a baseline for how smart you are. However, intelligence can be measured in several different ways, such as emotional and social intelligence, so taking said test might not give you the full picture.

Weigh how much he means to you to see if pushing him further would make you happier. If he isn't willing to make changes, especially ones that not only improve your relationship, but his own self as well, he might not be worth your time. In fact, you already seem to have a large inkling about what this is doing to you from the tone of your question; if he is holding you back because he holds back, remind yourself that life is fleeting and such people won't ever change but time does and you'll be old before you know and still not having done the things you wanted to achieve in life.

Perhaps this girl just wasn't right for you, that's part of life and knowing one's own needs and preferences. You could try to encourage them to read books about developing emotional intelligence or even to take a course. However, take care with how you approach making this suggestion, to avoid making them feel bad or somehow "wrong." Be kind and also be aware of your own limitations emotionally because everyone has emotional imperfections. Maybe you could offer to read the same books together or do a course on increasing emotional intelligence together.

You could try telling him that if you haven't already. He really shouldn't be trying to control the relationship just because he's male. Balance is very important in a relationship regardless of gender.