Q&A for How to Approach Your Crush

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How do you start a conversation with your crush?

Maria Avgitidis
Dating Coach
Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.

Maria Avgitidis

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Give your crush your undivided attention. Don't use your phone while you're talking to him, and make sure you focus on what he's saying.

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Question

What do I do if I'm too scared to even look at my crush, much less speak to him?

Community Answer

Take a deep breath. Calm yourself. You've got this. You're a strong-minded, charming person that has a lot to offer. Don't think of it as a trial where you have to impress your crush. Open direct, friendly communication and make the most of an opportunity to get to know each other. It's okay to be nervous, but you shouldn't let that hold you back from embarking on what could be the start of a beautiful thing.

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Question

Is it okay for a girl to pursue a crush? Isn't that the guy's job?

Community Answer

No way! We're all people. If you like somebody, go for it. Don't worry about old-fashioned conventions or how it might look to others. Having feelings for someone and acting on them is nothing to be ashamed of.

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Question

I told my crush I liked him. Was I wrong in doing this?

Community Answer

Not if it's how you feel! There's nothing wrong with being up front. It can save a lot of time, and most people will appreciate the honesty. Just be prepared for the possibility of rejection. You have to take chances to get anywhere. Try not to be pushy, but don't ever let self-consciousness keep you from telling someone how you feel about them if it's the right thing to do.

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Question

What should I say if I'm texting my crush for the first time?

Community Answer

Start off simply and casually: "Hey, [crush's name], it's [your name]. How are you?" Progress things from there. Try not to come off too strong right off the bat!

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Question

What if your crush asks you for relationship advice? Is this a sign?

Community Answer

Could be. It's at least a sign that they trust you and are comfortable enough with you to seek your advice. Do your best to help them out. They'll think of you of someone they can count on. And if they are interested in you, they'll feel emboldened to talk to you again in the future.

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Question

How do I work up the nerve to talk to my crush?

Community Answer

Take a few moments to get calm. Remind yourself of what you have to be proud of. Make up your mind to do it. Think about the worst case scenario: they're not interested. Is that really all that bad? Of course not. If you talk to him or her and you're met with disinterest, you'll at least have the satisfaction of having had the courage to try. If you don't go through with it, you'll have to live with the uncertainty of not knowing how things would have turned out.

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Question

How do I talk to my crush on Facebook?

Community Answer

Send them a friend request. Nothing too scary about that; after all, the two of your most likely go to the same school and share a few of the same friends. After that, start commenting on their statuses and photos occasionally. Try to open a dialogue by asking questions nonchalantly. For instance, you could comment on a picture of your crush at the beach and say "Beautiful sunset? What beach is this?" Follow that up with other questions and comments and see if you can push things toward trading phone numbers or having a friendly get-together.

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