Q&A for How to Stop Liking Your Crush

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  • Question
    What if my crush was the only person for me?
    Amy Chan
    Relationship Coach
    Amy Chan is a Relationship Coach based in New York, New York. She is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after the end of a relationship. She has over 12 years of experience helping clients work on their relationships with strategies rooted in the psychology and science of relationships and personal development. Her team of psychologists and coaches at Renew Breakup Bootcamp has helped hundreds of individuals in just 7 years of operation, and the Bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book based on her work, Breakup Bootcamp, was published in 2020 and was featured by the New York Times.
    Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    The idea of a one and only soulmate is a myth. There is more than one person out there for you. While you won't find another person who is exactly like your crush, you'll find someone who is amazing in their own way.
  • Question
    It hurts a lot. Why does it hurt so much?
    Community Answer
    Believe it or not, this is normal. Heartbreak actually causes responses in your body that can make you feel sick, tired, or otherwise not like yourself. Give yourself time to cry and be sad about it, and then find something else to do that won't remind you of your crush. It hurts a lot, but this feeling will pass with time, and if you need them, there are people around to support you through it.
  • Question
    What if my crush is a best friend?
    Community Answer
    You shouldn't suddenly cut your crush off without explanation, because if you two are friends, they'll likely be confused and hurt, especially if they don't know about your feelings for them. Tell your friend that you need to take some space to handle a personal issue (or just outright tell them it's because of your feelings, if you're feeling bold) and then give yourself time to do other things and talk to other people. Reading through How to Get Over a Crush on Your Best Friend may be of use, too.
  • Question
    What if my crush keeps trying to talk to me?
    Community Answer
    Be gentle, but firm, about your boundaries. Say, "Hey, I'm really sorry, but I need a bit of space. You haven't done anything wrong - I just need some time to sort things out." If you've previously spent time together, it's important to lay out this groundwork before you start distancing yourself, especially if you two are friends or are part of the same friendship circles - anyone would be confused (and potentially rather hurt) if their friend suddenly stopped talking to them with no explanation.
  • Question
    I have a crush on someone the same gender as me, and she knows. Is there any way I could try to change her mind and get her to date me, even though we're both girls?
    Community Answer
    You could try following the advice of How to Get a Girl to Like You (LGBT) , but if she's not attracted to girls, you unfortunately can't "flip a switch" and make her like girls. As painful as it is to have incompatible orientations , there's nothing you can do to change someone's sexuality, and even if she does like girls, there's no way to guarantee that she'll like you if you do this or that. Plus, not everyone who's same-gender attracted is able or willing to date, for reasons such as being closeted or having homophobic family. If she's not willing to date you, it's better to just move on, even though it's easier said than done.
  • Question
    What should I do if my crush is my classmate, and I keep getting put in the same group as him? It makes it difficult to keep distance.
    Community Answer
    Talk to your teacher and ask that you not be put in the same group as him for awhile. You don't need to tell your teacher that you have a crush on your classmate - just try saying something like, "I need to put some space between [classmate] and I. Could you please put me in groups with other people so I don't need to work with him as much? I'd really appreciate that."
  • Question
    My crush doesn't know that I have a crush on him, so he keeps hugging me and kissing me on the cheek. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Hugs and kisses are never something you're obliged to accept, regardless of who they're from, so if you want to get over your crush, you can just flat-out ask him to stop doing this. You can just say to him, "I'm not comfortable with you hugging and kissing me all the time. Could you please stop?"
  • Question
    How do you stop yourself from liking someone?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    If you really want to make yourself stop like someone, try distancing yourself by deleting their contact information from your phone as well as unfriending and unfollowing them on social media so you can stop talking to them and seeing their posts and statuses. Then, focus on yourself and your interests so you don't have time to think about them. Try new activities or pick up old ones that you haven't had time for.
  • Question
    What do you do when your crush doesn't like you?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    If your crush doesn't like you, unfortunately, there may not be anything you can do about it. And trying to convince them to like you can backfire and make them like you even less. Instead, try to distract yourself by hanging out with people who want to spend time with you and picking up a new hobby that will keep you from thinking about it.
  • Question
    What if I want to move on, but I don't feel the same about anybody else?
    Ruby
    Top Answerer
    That's okay. You don't have to have a crush on someone all the time. There may be periods of time where you are not crushing on anyone. To get over a crush, you don't have to force yourself to have another crush. It is likely that your current crush won't be your last crush, even if they are all you can think about at the moment.
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