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Forgiving someone for toxic behavior isn’t easy, especially when that someone is you. We’re often a lot harder on ourselves than we are on others and this makes it hard to forgive ourselves for past wrongs. Thankfully, self-forgiveness is a skill that can be practiced and improved. We’ve put together a psychology-backed guide to forgiving yourself for being toxic, making amends, and moving on with your life. Read on to begin your journey toward self-forgiveness.
This article is based on an interview with our certified life coach and professional astrologer, Tracey Rogers. Check out the full interview here.
Steps
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QuestionHow would I be able to make amends with someone whom I have hurt? I try, yet every time I seem to make things worse for this person.SERENITYJ KHANCommunity AnswerIf you can't seem to help, then try to stay away and maybe they will forgive you. You could even say that you are just sorry for your past mistakes.
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Tips
- If you need immediate relief from guilt or shame, give yourself a boost with physical self-care. A shower or bath when you feel guilty is linked to alleviating negative feelings short-term, and spending time on yourself gives you space to gain perspective on your situation. [18] X Research sourceThanks
- Think about the other person or people’s perspective. It’s easy to imagine they’re just as fixated on your toxic behavior as you are, but this isn’t always the case. Remind yourself that the other person might not be affected as severely as you. [19] X Research sourceThanks
- Remember, guilt is not the same as shame. Guilt lets you know you’ve done something wrong and helps you atone for it. Shame makes you feel bad about who you are. Keep your guilt to help you make amends, but ditch the shame.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/working-through-shame/201908/how-forgive-yourself
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201410/how-forgive-yourself-and-move-the-past
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-to-forgive-yourself
- ↑ https://parade.com/1342473/jessicasager/how-to-forgive-yourself/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-to-forgive-yourself
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201410/how-forgive-yourself-and-move-the-past
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/depression/letting-go-of-negative-thoughts#what-to-do
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201410/how-forgive-yourself-and-move-the-past
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/learning-to-let-go-of-past-hurts-5-ways-to-move-on#5-Ways-to-Let-Go-of-Past-Hurts
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-to-forgive-yourself
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/06/02/1002446748/youre-apologizing-all-wrong-heres-how-to-say-sorry-the-right-way
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/202006/healing-guilt-7-steps-self-forgiveness
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201410/how-forgive-yourself-and-move-the-past
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-to-forgive-yourself
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flourish-and-thrive/202109/5-strategies-learning-your-mistakes
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/working-through-shame/201908/how-forgive-yourself
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/202009/7-signs-you-should-talk-therapist
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-to-forgive-yourself
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-to-forgive-yourself
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