What Is a Trophy Husband? (Plus How to Become One)

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What makes a good trophy husband? Your questions answered
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You’ve heard of a trophy wife, but what about a trophy husband? While this term definitely isn’t as popular, a trophy husband is a term that people use to refer to themselves and their partners. To learn more about what a trophy husband is and some of the connotations that surround the phrase, keep reading.

Things You Should Know

  • A trophy husband is an attractive man in a relationship with an older, wealthier person.
  • A trophy husband also sometimes refers to a stay-at-home dad.
  • Being a trophy husband isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but don’t call someone a trophy husband unless you know they’re okay with it.
Section 1 of 4:

What is a trophy husband?

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  1. Have you ever heard the term “trophy wife”? “Trophy husband” is similar. It usually means that the more attractive man in the relationship doesn’t work, and is supported by their older, wealthier partner. [1]
  2. A trophy husband doesn’t always have to be younger with a wealthier partner! Nowadays, if a man stays at home with the children instead of working to support the family, he might be referred to as a “trophy husband.” [2]
    • This definition of trophy husband is usually a bit more of a joke, and it’s mostly lighthearted fun.
    • In this scenario, the man’s partner may not be older or wealthier than them; they may just be the breadwinner for the family.
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  3. When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it can be hard to tell if they love you for who you are, or if they’re only with you because of their own image. A “trophy partner” or “trophy spouse” can sometimes mean the partner of a narcissist who’s only around to boost a narcissist’s ego. [3]
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Section 2 of 4:

Is trophy husband an offensive term?

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  1. When you call someone a “trophy husband,” you might be assuming that they’re only with their partner for the money, or that all they have to offer is their looks. While everyone has a different relationship dynamic, it’s usually not kind to infer that a man is only with their partner because it supports their expensive lifestyle.
    • “Trophy husband” can also have another negative connotation that implies the man in the relationship is stupid or vapid. The phrase itself is like a half-compliment/half-insult, since it’s praising the man for his looks while also saying that he has nothing else to offer.
    • Similarly, calling a stay-at-home dad a “trophy husband” can be derogatory, because it implies that being a stay-at-home parent isn’t hard work.
Section 3 of 4:

Signs You Are a Trophy Husband

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  1. One of the main markers of a trophy husband is that you don’t need your own money! If your partner loves taking you out on lavish dates and dropping tons of money on you, then you’ve probably earned the trophy husband status. [4]
  2. While this isn’t true in every trophy husband relationship, it definitely can be. Maybe you find that your partner is in charge, while you’re fine hanging out in the background and going with the flow.. [5]
    • This might be about small things, like where to go for dinner, or bigger things, like where you two want to live.
  3. Most of us want to look good for our partners. But if you’re a trophy husband, you might find yourself preening and grooming yourself more often than usual. It’s likely because you know your partner wants you to look good, so you’d like to keep up your appearance for them. [6]
    • Your partner might even encourage you to stay physically fit by paying for expensive gym memberships or healthy meals.
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Section 4 of 4:

Becoming a Trophy Husband

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  1. If you want to be someone’s arm candy, it’s important to look your best. Stay in shape , eat a healthy diet, and exude confidence . The better you look, the more likely you are to find a partner who can give you that trophy husband status. [7]
  2. If you’re in the market to become a trophy husband, try to find a partner who can make money to support the both of you. Whether you’re looking for a woman, a man, or anyone in between, try to find someone who’s invested in their career (and hopefully makes a lot of money).
    • Lawyers, doctors, and other high-earners are perfect for this lifestyle.
  3. Wealthier, older partners tend to like fine dining and fancy events. If you want to be attractive arm candy, try looking for a partner who wants to take you out on the town. That way, they’ll be more invested in making sure you look and feel your best. [8]
  4. If you want that “husband” title, it’s likely that you’ll have to be faithful to your partner. If you’re in a monogamous relationship, make sure that you stay focused on your partner, and don’t get distracted by people who may not support your lifestyle.
  5. Have you always dreamed of being a parent? If you and your spouse want to have kids, but your spouse wants to keep working, this is the perfect way to become a stay-at-home parent (and a faux trophy husband). While you may still be putting in the work of raising your children, you can also relax knowing you won’t have to enter the workforce again. [9]
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you find a career-driven partner?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    The answer is within the question—you need to be honest and communicate exactly who you are! Explain that you're working hard, and that you're looking for a relationship and have a lot to offer. However, stress that your career is important to you. Explain that you're looking for someone who can find the right balance between their career and their relationship.
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      Expert Interview

      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC .

      References

      1. ↑ https://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2002/10/14/330033/index.htm
      2. ↑ https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2007-06-11-0706100346-story.html
      3. ↑ https://spsp.org/news-center/character-context-blog/are-you-trophy-narcissist
      4. ↑ https://herway.net/trophy-husband-material/
      5. ↑ https://herway.net/trophy-husband-material/
      6. ↑ https://herway.net/trophy-husband-material/
      7. ↑ https://herway.net/trophy-husband-material/
      8. ↑ https://herway.net/trophy-husband-material/
      9. ↑ https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2007-06-11-0706100346-story.html

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