12 Ways to Emotionally Support Your Wife

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

Emotional support is a big component of any relationship, but especially a romantic one. Knowing how to be there for your wife and make her feel loved and cared for will bring you two closer together and establish a stronger bond. In this article, we’ll tell you exactly how you can emotionally support your wife and be there for her when she needs you.

This article is based on an interview with our relationship expert, Kelli Miller, licensed pyschotherapist and award-winning author. Check out the full interview here.

1

Ask her directly how you can support her.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/82\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/82\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-1.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you aren’t really sure how your wife would like to be supported, simply ask her how you can help. That way, you can follow her instructions and meet her needs to the best of your abilities. [1]
    • “Is there anything I can do to help?”
    • “What would make you feel better?”
    2. Advertisement
2

Listen intently when she talks.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/29\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/29\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When she talks about what she’s going through, get rid of distractions and listen to her with your full attention. Make eye contact and nod along as she speaks so she knows that you’re listening. You can also ask follow-up questions and repeat what she says, just to make sure you’re understanding things. [2]
    • Say things like, “Interesting, can you tell me more?” or, “I’m not quite sure I understand. What did you mean by that?”
3

Validate her feelings.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/bc\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/bc\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    It can be frustrating to feel like no one understands you when you’re upset or stressed out. Let your wife know that what she’s going through is totally okay, and that she has a right to feel all of her feelings. [3]
    • “I totally get why you’d be mad about that. I’d probably feel the same way.”
    • “That sounds really tough. I understand why you’re so stressed out.”
    2. Advertisement
4

Be respectful of her feelings.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/81\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/81\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Sometimes, problems that seem like a big deal to your wife won’t seem that stressful to you. However, saying things like, “It’s no big deal,” or “Get over it,” can be very hurtful to hear. Even if you don’t think you’d react the same way, be empathetic to what your wife is going through. [4]
    • Even things that sound helpful, like, “It could be worse,” or, “Be grateful for what you do have,” won’t make your wife feel better. Stick to encouraging, helpful comments to emotionally support her.


5

Offer advice if she asks for it.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/9d\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/9d\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-5.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    While it can feel natural to provide a solution or some advice to your wife’s problems, that might not be what she needs right now. Check in with her first to see if she wants your help—if she does, you can offer your perspective on the matter. [5]
    • “Do you want some advice, or do you just need to vent?”
    • “Can I offer a suggestion, or would you rather I just listened for now?”
    2. Advertisement
6

Compliment her strengths.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/25\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/25\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-6.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When you’re upset or stressed out, it’s easy to feel like the world is bringing you down. Remind your wife of a few of her awesome qualities to give her self-esteem a boost so she can tackle whatever life throws her way. [6]
    • “You’re such a strong person.”
    • “You’re such a competent worker, and you always go above and beyond.”
    • “You light up a room. Everyone who talks to you leaves with a smile.”
7

Say “I love you” often.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6b\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/6b\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-7.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Sure, your wife probably knows that you love her a lot, but actually hearing it can mean the world to her. Make an effort to tell your wife that you love her often, and be sure to look her in the eyes and smile while you do. [7]
    • Make her smile by pairing your “I love you” with a sweet hug and a kiss.
    2. Advertisement
8

Remind her that she can lean on you.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/9d\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/9d\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-8.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When you’re in a lasting partnership, you can tackle problems as a couple instead of on your own. Let your wife know that you’re going to be here for her, and remind her that she doesn’t have to handle everything all by herself. [8]
    • “I’m right here with you, honey. We’ll figure this out together.”
    • “You don’t have to figure this out by yourself. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
9

Be physically affectionate.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/07\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/07\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-9.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Physical touch will bring you two closer together. Give your wife a hug, hold her hand, or kiss her on the cheek. You could also rub her feet or offer to give her a massage as a relaxation technique. The more you two can be close physically, the better she’ll feel emotionally. [9]
    • Not everyone likes physical touch, and that’s okay. If you aren’t sure if your wife wants a hug or a kiss right now, ask her beforehand.
    2. Advertisement
10

Buy her a small gift.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/7b\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-10.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/7b\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-10.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-10.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you know your wife is struggling, head to the store and buy her something sweet, like her favorite snack or a bouquet of flowers. You don’t have to break the bank—just pick up something to let her know that you’re thinking about her and what she’s going through. [10]
    • Want to make her feel really relaxed? Trying gifting her with items to create a mini spa day. Bubble bath , face masks , and nail polish will ease her mind and let her have a fun, relaxing afternoon.
11

Take care of one of her tasks for her.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/7d\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-11-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/7d\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-11-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    While there should be an even division of household tasks between partners, there might be some things that your wife normally takes care of. Go above and beyond by tackling something she normally does around the house to give her a break and some time to herself. [11]
    • For instance, run to the store and pick up groceries, or take care of picking up your kids from school.
    2. Advertisement
12

Keep checking in with her periodically.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/33\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-12.jpg\/v4-460px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-12.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/33\/Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-12.jpg\/v4-728px-Emotionally-Support-Your-Wife-Step-12.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Even if you’ve had a long conversation about what’s going on, it’s nice for your wife to know that she’s still in your mind. Check in with her every now and then to make sure she’s doing okay. [12]
    • “It’s been a little bit since we talked. How are you doing?”
    • “How are you feeling today?”

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      100 Romantic & Funny Anniversary Messages for Your Husband
      How to Dress for Your Husband in Bed
      How to
      Get Your Husband to Notice You Sexually
      What Is “Wife Material”? All Your Questions Answered
      How to
      Have Good Sex in Marriage
      How to Make Your Husband Feel Loved
      How to
      Make Your Husband Happy
      14 Signs Your Wife Is Not Attracted To You (& How to Move Forward)
      11 Sweet & Passionate Texts to Seduce Your Husband
      How to
      Talk in an Arranged Marriage Meeting
      13 Easy Ways to Flirt with Your Husband
      How to
      Get to Know a Girl Before an Arranged Marriage
      16+ Ways to Be a Good Wife: A How-To Guide
      How to
      Be a Good Husband
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
      2. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
      3. ↑ https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/validation-may-be-best-way-support-stressed-out-friends-and-family/
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stressing-communication/201906/formula-providing-emotional-support
      5. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stressing-communication/201906/formula-providing-emotional-support
      7. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication
      8. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
      9. ↑ https://blogs.iu.edu/kinseyinstitute/2020/05/28/the-power-of-touch-physical-affection-is-important-in-relationships-but-some-people-need-more-than-others/
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/201712/what-gifts-your-spouse-say-about-your-marriage
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201008/what-do-we-owe-our-partners-obligation-in-relationships
      3. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 41,518 times.
      If you buy through links on our site, we may earn a commission .

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement