18 Telltale Signs that You’re Feeling Sexual Attraction

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How to know if you’re experiencing sexual attraction
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The feeling of sexual attraction is a mix of physiological, emotional, and behavioral symptoms, and it can be a bit unclear sometimes to know exactly what this type of attraction is supposed to feel like. You might’ve gotten butterflies around a certain someone or blushed a lot when they were around, but was that really sexual attraction? Don’t worry, we’ve compiled a list of the common signs and symptoms of sexual attraction in order to help explain what this sensation might feel like for you.

1

You feel sexually aroused by them.

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  1. One of the most obvious signs of sexual attraction is arousal. When you feel sexually attracted to someone, you might begin to think about what it’d be like to have sex with them and might be turned on when thinking about them or seeing them. Even if you haven’t known the person for very long, you can still certainly feel sexually attracted to and aroused by them. [1]
    • You might feel this way when you see a really “hot” celebrity or stranger. Even if you don’t know them personally, you might still feel some kind of sexual attraction toward them.
    • For people who want to know if they may be asexual , it’s common for asexual individuals to feel little or no sexual attraction no matter whom they’re interacting with.
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2

You get nervous around them.

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  1. If you’ve ever had a crush on someone, you might be familiar with this feeling. Whenever the person you find attractive is near, you might find yourself stumbling over your words or breaking out in a nervous sweat. And if they’re attracted to you, you’ll probably notice them acting in the exact same way. [2]
    • Your fight-or-flight response is responsible for your sudden jitters and nervous sweating. This is caused by your body releasing the hormone norepinephrine.
3

You feel giddy and excited to be near them.

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  1. Dopamine allows you to feel pleasure and satisfaction, and your body releases high amounts of it when you experience attraction. So when you see someone you feel sexually attracted to, you might feel extra happy and excited, and it might feel like you suddenly got an extra boost of energy just from getting a glimpse of them. [3]
    • You might even feel really excited just hearing their name being mentioned or seeing a picture of them.
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4

Your heart rate increases.

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  1. Your adrenal gland releases hormones like adrenaline, epinephrine, and norepinephrine when you feel attraction, and these can make your heart beat faster and stronger. This is similar to the response your body gives during a fight-or-flight situation since many of the same hormones are involved. [4]
    • However, it’s also possible for your body to trick you into thinking that you’re sexually attracted to someone. For example, if your heart is pumping after a long run and you happen to see someone good-looking, you might mistake your increased heart rate for sexual attraction. [5]
5

Your body temperature goes up.

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  1. Blushing is a physical sign of sexual interest that’s hard to hide. If someone you find sexually attractive happens to look your way, you might find yourself easily flushing and feeling a bit hot because it feels like they’ve caught you in the act of thinking about them. [6]
    • Even though blushing certainly isn’t a bad thing, if you want to avoid blushing around someone you find attractive, make an effort to relax your body. If you’re really nervous and tense around them, you might blush a lot easier.
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6

You become more silly and carefree around them.

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  1. Scientists have found that sexual arousal actually turns off the region of your brain that regulates critical thinking and self-awareness. Thanks to biology, you might find yourself acting more silly around your crush or making a bit of a fool of yourself. But don’t worry, it’s totally natural and everyone’s been there at some point. [7]
7

You crave physical contact with them.

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  1. When you find someone sexually attractive, you might find yourself making up excuses to get close to them and share a friendly touch here and there. You might put your hand on their shoulder when they make you laugh or insist they hold your hand when you’re walking in a crowded place. Whatever it is, know that sexual attraction makes physical touch feel all the more electric. [8]
    • To show someone that you’re attracted to them, don’t be afraid to flirt using physical touch . Sit close to them or even give them a hug if you’re both comfortable with that.
    • However, avoid touching someone if you think it’ll make them uncomfortable, and refrain from this kind of flirting in professional settings like your place of work.
    • For someone who identifies as asexual, you may still desire physical contact with this other person, but not in a sexual way. This is known as sensual attraction, and you may just want to hold their hand, hug them, or cuddle with them.
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8

You make eye contact with them often.

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  1. When you feel sexually attracted to someone, you often only have eyes for them. You might make more of an effort to maintain eye contact with them to show them that you’re interested in them and find them attractive. This might also be your way of encouraging them to pay attention to you and notice your interest. [9]
9

Your pupils dilate when you look at them.

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  1. Even though you won’t necessarily be able to feel this sign of sexual attraction, it’s certainly something to look out for in others to see if they’re attracted to you. So next time you talk to someone you like, check to see if their pupils get larger to see if they’re interested in you as well.
    • Of course, sexual arousal isn’t the only thing that can cause someone’s pupils to dilate. Other things like low lighting and feelings of excitement, anxiety, or anger can also be potential causes.
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10

You smile and laugh more around them.

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  1. All of those giddy and excited feelings you get thanks to the dopamine being released into your body can make it so that you smile a lot more around someone you find attractive. Even if they tell a terrible joke, you might find yourself laughing hysterically anyways and smiling whenever you’re near them. [10]
    • Smiling is also a great way to make yourself look approachable and friendly to the person you like.
    • Make the other person laugh to get closer to them. Tell them a joke or a funny story, or just let yourself act silly around them to get them to relax and share in your laughter.
11

You’re extra flirty with them.

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  1. You might be fully aware of your feelings of sexual attraction toward another person and flirt as a means to get them to reciprocate your feelings. There are plenty of different ways you might flirt with them, whether it’s through coy jokes or subtle touches here and there. And if they start to flirt back, it’s probably a sign that they feel a similar way about you. [11]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 662 wikiHow readers, and 63% of them agreed that playful banter is the type of teasing that’s the strongest indicator you have chemistry with someone. [Take Poll]
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12

You fixate on their attractive physical features.

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  1. Scanning someone from head to toe because you find them good-looking is a potential sign that you feel sexually attracted to them. You might even have certain parts of them picked out that you find particularly attractive like their smile or physique. [12]
    • For asexuals, you might still fixate on another person’s attractive features, but not in a sexual way. This is known as aesthetic attraction, and it’s simply the act of appreciating someone’s objective beauty or good looks.
13

You think about them constantly.

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  1. They might feature in a sexual dream or fantasy of yours, or you may simply find yourself wondering what they’re doing at random points throughout the day. You might also find it hard not to bring them up during a conversation, and the smallest things might remind you of them. [13]
    • You might also find yourself remembering the smallest details about them, like their favorite color, their favorite song, or their go-to coffee order.
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14

You want to be alone with them.

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  1. When you feel attracted to someone, the idea of being with them alone probably sounds very appealing. Whether your goal is to get up to some spicier activities or just hang out and get to know each other, your attraction to them might motivate you to find any way to get them all to yourself even if it’s just for a few minutes. [14]
    • For asexuals, this desire to be alone may be due to feelings of romantic attraction. You may be seeking out time together because you’d like to be romantically involved with them and more exclusive.
15

You hug them longer.

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  1. While you probably give your close friends and family members a short, sweet hug, you might find yourself lingering just a bit longer when it comes to someone you feel sexually attracted to. You might even let your hands brush against their shoulders or squeeze them extra tight to prolong the physical contact. [15]
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16

Your voice changes around them.

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  1. Research has found that when two people are interested in each other, the tone and pitch of their voices begin to become similar. You might also notice that the speed at which you talk changes to match up with the person whom you find attractive. This is all usually a completely unconscious change, so you might not even notice it happening. [16]
    • If you want to know if the other person is interested in you, listen to their voice and see if it changes to mimic your own style of speech.
17

You mirror their actions.

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  1. When you find someone attractive, you might notice that you start to copy their actions, though it’s usually a completely subconscious reaction. When they cross their arms, you do the same. If they touch their hair, you’ll touch your hair as well. Mirroring, as unconscious of a behavior as it might be, also helps build trust between you and the other person. [17]
    • Mirroring is a good way to flirt using your body language . It’s a subtle way of telling the other person that you have something in common and that you’re interested in them.
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18

Other people make comments about your attraction.

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  1. If there’s some sexual tension between you and another person, you might not be the only two who can feel it. If your friends are coming up to you and asking if you like the other person or find them attractive, it’s probably because they can already tell that you’re sexually attracted to them. [18]
    • In some cases, the people around you might be able to detect your feelings before you do. So if they come up to you asking you about your feelings toward a certain person, take a second to reflect on if you actually do feel sexual attraction toward that person.


Join the Discussion...

What does it feel like to be in love?
WikiCloudDancer332
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WikiCloudDancer332
I don't think I've ever been in love before, but I know it's supposed to be the best feeling in the world. What does it feel like? How do you kno... Read More
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Jessica George, MA, CHt
Certified Professional Master Life Coach
I believe with every fiber that it is a matter of biochemical response. When we "fall in love," there is something that happens inside of us that... Read More
WikiLionWhisperer670
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WikiLionWhisperer670
Wow, where do I even start. When you're in love, your partner is all you can think about. You wake up thinking about them, find yourself daydream... Read More
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  • Question
    What is emotional attraction?
    Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.
    Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Frequently, it manifests as an intense yearning or longing. It's a compelling feeling and a strong urge to be close to someone. Similar to the way chocolate or coffee enthusiasts experience an impulse and a need for these stimulants, those feeling the attraction impulse can't imagine life without the other person. It's a profound and inexplicable desire, creating an internal sense that one "can't live without the other person."
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  • Question
    What should I do if I just want a casual relationship?
    Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.
    Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    To begin with, it's crucial to have a clear understanding of your desires and personal intentions. Open and honest communication should be the foundation of any relationship, whether romantic or friendly. In casual dating scenarios, individuals often seek a connection more aligned with friendship than a romantic commitment. It's essential to communicate your feelings, desires, and aspirations transparently in a relationship. Avoid leading someone on if you have no intention of pursuing a romantic connection. Instead, prioritize genuineness and authenticity. Authentic individuals possess self-awareness, personal insight, and a willingness to be vulnerable.
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  • Question
    Am I in love if I'm attracted to someone?
    Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.
    Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    It's crucial to recognize that attraction doesn't exclusively pertain to romantic or sexual attraction. Platonic feelings for someone can coexist without romantic inclinations. Additionally, it's essential to distinguish that attraction doesn't always imply desirability. Keep in mind that attraction serves as the core of any strong relationship. While we may be attracted to someone as a friend, it doesn't guarantee a romantic attraction.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://asexualitytrust.org.nz/what-is-asexuality/attraction-vs-arousal/
      2. ↑ https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/
      3. ↑ https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/
      4. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/sexual-orientation.html
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-young-and-the-restless/201411/heart-inducing-activities-lead-to-enhanced-attraction
      6. ↑ https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/puzzle-blushing
      7. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/apr03/arousal
      8. ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/arousal
      9. ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes#:~:text=To%20maintain%20appropriate%20eye%20contact,it%20for%204%2D5%20seconds
      1. ↑ https://lgbtq.unc.edu/resources/exploring-identities/asexuality-attraction-and-romantic-orientation/
      2. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-flirt/
      3. ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/understanding-sexual-orientation/
      4. ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/332217111_Adjusting_Signals_of_Sexual_Interest_in_the_Most_Recent_Naturally_Occurring_Opposite-Sex_Encounter_in_Two_Different_Contexts
      5. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
      6. ↑ https://newsroom.clevelandclinic.org/2023/01/18/benefits-of-hugging-for-mental-health
      7. ↑ https://www.osmosis.org/blog/2023/02/13/the-science-of-love-how-our-bodies-help-determine-attraction-and-commitment
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communications-that-matter/202208/how-decoding-body-language-can-improve-your-life
      9. ↑ https://www.lifecoach-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/signs-someone-actually-likes-you

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